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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

What happens next?


I'm starting this blog because my friend Rachel told me to.

And also because we were hanging out last week, and we realized that we were only going to live in the same town for two more months. . .now that's a little bit sad. I totally see why people stay in their college town long after graduation. Lakeland isn't anything special, but the people I've met here sure are. I'm going to miss all of my friends. I'm going to miss randomly deciding we want to go somewhere late at night. I'm going to miss taco bell runs. And, I'm just going to say it:

I'm going to miss school.

Shocking, right? As much as I've counted down and looked forward to graduation? But I'm really going to miss it. I'm going to miss late nights in the library trying to pump out an entire research paper in two hours (except that my mom reads this, so I've obviously never done that.) I'm going to miss having someone (teachers) force me to learn everyday. I'm going to miss being insanely frustrated by not understanding something new, and then having to work really hard to finally get it (with the exception of spanish. . .I am not going to miss that frustration in my life.) I'm even going to miss staying up late and freaking out while trying to finish an assignment because I thought that a ten o' clock starting time would be appropriate for something with a twelve o' clock due time. A whole season of my life is coming to an end, and I'm going to miss it. It's been horrible and it's been wonderful, and I am going to miss it.

And I'm ready for the next season. I'm ready to be a wife, to marry and take care of my very best friend. I'm ready to be a support system and laugh and cry our way through medical school. I'm ready to work harder than I ever have at writing and trying to get someone to publish me. I'm ready for this next season, this next adventure. I'm just not ready for this season to end yet.

But it will. It always does. And I'll cry and be sad and miss it and the people in it fiercely. And then, in a couple of months, when I'm in the next season of my life and soaking up all that it has to offer, I won't be able to imagine my life any other way. That's how my life works, and I'm thankful for that. Because of that, I will have many seasons, many adventures, many people to love. I will have memories and struggles and dreams and accomplishments. I will try to love every minute of it, but sometimes I will forget to. But later on, I will always go back and be thankful for it.

I'm starting this blog because it will keep me accountable to writing on a consistent basis- funny how you never seem to have time to do the one thing you love to, right? And also because I have no idea what happens next. I'm graduating in May and getting married in December. But between then, and after that, I have no idea. So I want to keep track of it. I want to write it all down and remember it all. And even though I have no idea what happens next, I am already thankful for what adventures will come.