When I was 14, we moved from Tennessee to Florida. In Florida, I was always the youngest of all my friends, so I had to stay behind when they went off to college. I moved to Lakeland, back to Melbourne Beach, and then to Orlando. Point being, I've got friends and family spread out over quite a few places. As someone who's best friends are located in different towns, I've learned a few things about making friendships work no matter how far apart you live.
1. Make an effort to stay in touch, even if you feel like it's one-sided.
For awhile, it will be. House hunting and job searching and settling in can be a lot to juggle. I went from graduation straight into wedding planning. I would go days without even looking through my texts. But when I did, it was like a virtual hug to see that my friends hadn't stopped texting me just because I moved away.
Just because they can't answer every call doesn't mean you should stop calling. Just because they can't text back every time doesn't mean you should stop sending them hilarious memes. Keep 'em going.
2. Don't expect them to call you every single time they're in town.
This is especially true if you live in the same town as their family. When you announce you're coming back to town, everyone expects to spend a lot of time with you, your family being at the top of that list. So don't be upset when you find out they were in town...they may have needed to jet in and spend a few days with family, or they may have had an emergency at home. Either way, if they don't tell you they're in town, it's for a reason.
3. Send letters.
Nothing makes my day like getting a letter. So go to the dollar section at Target, grab some pretty paper, and write a quick "thinking of you" down. It takes such little effort, but can totally make someone's entire week.
4. Realize that they have a new life now.
So ask about it! Don't only talk about what's going on in your life and the town that they left. Let them talk about their new life and new friends without feeling guilty. The best kind of friends want their friends to have other friends wherever they are. When I moved to Orlando, my best friends from college always made sure to ask if I was making any friends. They encouraged me to get out of my comfort zone to meet people, and that made me feel stable in a time of transition.
5. Have coffee together!
FaceTime is a beautiful thing. "What are you doing right now? Having ice cream? Cool, me too. Let's FaceTime and eat ice cream together." FaceTime has totally revolutionized long-distance friendships because you can do it from anywhere, and it takes such little effort.
What do you think helps make long-distance friendships work?
