It's Different, But it's Good.

I made Halloween plans around a year in advance for this Halloween. The second Taylor Swift released her tour dates and I saw that she was going to be in Florida on Halloween, I knew that’s what I would be doing. Because one, Taylor. Duh. And two, seeing Taylor with everyone dressed up and dancing around in costumes...hello, magic. 

I’m trying to think of another way to phrase this next part other than “and then I got pregnant” because I hate when people say things like that to me, like my life is worse because I had sex and it resulted in a human life. But in this case, the phrase fits..."and then I got pregnant."

So I’m not seeing Taylor on Saturday. Because dropping $200 to spend the night dancing around in a costume when you’re in a "wild and free and you only live once" phase and dropping $200 to spend the night dancing around in a costume when you’re in an “about to have a baby” phase are two very, very different things. 

This isn’t to say, “well, life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would, bummer.” It’s to say, life is way different than I thought it would be a year ago. And it’s good. 

I wasn't dancing the night away with Taylor on Saturday. Instead, I was celebrating the last day of October by freezing my face off and seeing actual fall leaves. The last weekend in October found me catching frostbite by Lake Eerie and exploring cities like Cleveland and Cincinnati and Indianapolis, places I never knew I wanted to see. 

Last Halloween, Chris got off work early (a rare occurrence) and we celebrated by getting queso and margaritas for lunch. This year, he didn't have to work at all (pure bliss) because we're on the residency hunt. But since I've got a baby hanging out in me for another 11 weeks, we celebrated with apple cider instead. 

Last Halloween was fun. Getting margaritas in the middle of the day with my husband, getting dressed up and going out with my friends, it was all so fun. It was a fun season. It was great. Seeing Taylor Swift end her tour on Halloween? That would have been incredibly fun. 

But traveling and seeing new places and exploring towns I haven't yet gotten the chance to fall in love with? That was perfect. Being equal parts terrified and excited while trying to imagine a life in one of these towns with my tiny family was a magical way to spend the weekend. 

On Halloween this year, we had lunch in Indianapolis. We were finishing up when a couple with a baby dressed up as a pumpkin sat at the table next to us. They ordered beers and laughed with each other and showed off their little pumpkin who waved at everyone in the restaurant. They were clearly having the best Halloween ever with the people that were the most important to them, and seeing that made my heart feel so full. Because maybe next year I'll be sitting at a table, having a beer and talking about life with Chris while we laugh at our little guy, dressed up like a pumpkin. 

So life is different now. More different that I could have imagined at this time last year. But it is so, so good. 

I'll catch you next tour, Taylor. 

10 Struggles Every Taylor Swift Fan Knows to be True.

1. It does not matter that I don't even have a CD player anymore, I WILL be waiting in line at Target for this one. And the next one. And all of them. The year will be 2042 and I will STILL be waiting in line so I can read the lyrics booklet.

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2. We do not judge her dating choices. Too young? Too old? Everybody makes mistakes, OKAY? She's gotta get new song material from somewhere, geeze. Don't be petty. Until they break up, obviously, and then pettiness is necessary. Like, we're still mad at Joe Jonas. And dear John? BYE FELICIA.

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3. I need to get married or pregnant or something so I can send her an invitation to my shower. And even if she's too busy to come, she can send me a water color painting that will basically seal our friendship forever. Yep, time to have a baby.

4. *Casually stops listening to Katy Perry.* I will throw shade at Katy Perry in normal conversations, and if you are team Perry, well, it was a nice friendship while it lasted. 

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5. Every song has two alternate titles in my head: One, the person's name who it's actually about, and two, the person's name who I sing it in my car about. Oh look, it's the Style/Harry/Josh song!

6. I want wild and curly hair. Actually, I want super straight hair with blunt bangs. Oh wait, short hair. I want short hair.

7. Obviously I'm excited that her big announcement was her new album, but also just a little bummed that it had nothing to do with her releasing her own clothing line so we could all look like dolls. Is that coming soon? Please? 

8. Okay, so I'm more of a dog person, but maybe I need a cat? 

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9. Life goals: To be able to pull off one of her crop-top looks at least once in my lifetime. 

10. There's nothing like Taylor moving to New York and releasing an album that is not entirely about boys to realize it's time to GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER DANGIT. Your twenties are not for messing around, they are for getting your crap together. Well, and also eating breakfast at midnight and falling in love with strangers. Okay that's confusing....and happy/free/lonely at the same time...just a miserable and magical life over here, guys. 

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13 Reasons You Should be Listening to Taylor Swift Right Now.

1. She gives you confidence to not care what other people say about you--and to maybe even tell them you don't care. People were making fun of her for being a bad dancer. So what does she do? Releases a music video of herself dancing. Boom. She knows how to laugh at herself, and it's awesome.

2. She gives you creative ways to say mean things about your exes, and to sound really cool while doing it.

"People like you always want back the love they pushed aside, but people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye."

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3. She knows not all break-ups are bitter. 

"I wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for and I wish you knew that I miss you too much to be mad anymore."

"How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something, there's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions."

4. Need to feel nostalgic? She's got you covered. 

"Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days? Always a bigger bed to crawl into. Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you?"

"Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room. Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home. Remember the footsteps, remember the words said, and all your little brother's favorite songs."

5. No matter who you are, you can relate to her songs. Sure, you may not be 22, but you know you've wanted to dress up like a hipster. And even if you're going to lie and say you haven't, you've most definitely wanted to eat breakfast at midnight.

6. She owns up to making mistakes that we've all made, usually for the same reasons. 

"I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand."

"My mind forgets to remind me that you're a bad idea."

"I thought, "Heaven help me now, nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down. He's so tall and handsome..."

7. Sometimes she can describe what happened in your relationship better than you can. 

"This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less."

"You held your pride like you should have held me."

8. Exes aren't the only thing she covers--she also gives you song lyrics to blare about the mean girls in your life. 

"Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends. She should keep in mind there is nothing I do better than revenge."

"It's so sad to think about the good times, you and I...So take a look at what you've done, 'cause baby now we got bad blood."

9. Homegirl can write a heart-wrenching break-up song. 

"After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own, now you mail back my things and I walk home alone. But you keep my old scarf from that very first week, 'cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me. You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well." I MEAN, HELLO.

10. But you don't need to linger on those break-up songs, because she's got plenty of songs to make you feel super confident. 

"So it's gonna be forever, or it's gonna go down in flames. You can tell me when it's over if the high was worth the pain. Got a long list of ex lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane. 'Cause you know I love the players, and you love the game."

"But you'll come back each time you leave, 'cause darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

11. She can WRITE. Whether you like her music or not, there's no denying she's a freakishly talented lyricist.

12. Sometimes, she just nails how you're feeling. 

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 Said every person in their twenties, ever.

13. She changes. In a world where people are quick to judge you when you make changes in your life, or to call you a copycat or ask why you're so different now, it's nice to see someone in the spotlight change so much and own up to it.

Her closing line of her forward says, "From the girl who said she would never cut her hair or move to New York or find happiness in a world where she is not in love." We've all said "nope, never" about something and then done it anyway, and maybe even loved it. Her new music reminds you that's okay.

Have you listened to her new album yet? Are you a fan or no?