How to Have a Completely Stress-Free Thanksgiving in 11 Easy Steps.

1. First things first: Please absolutely everyone. This is essential. If someone is upset with you for not going along with their plans/being late/saying the wrong thing, Thanksgiving will be ruined. RUINED.
2. Buy a new dress. Of course it will be expensive, even though you already have plenty of perfectly good dresses. Of course it will be form fitting, and you'll have eaten so much before Thanksgiving dinner even starts that you'll probably change into yoga pants. But if you don't buy a new dress, do you even actually care about Thanksgiving??
3. Start your marathon training weeks in advance. Marathon eating, that is. You've got to prepare your stomach so you can actually eat everything. This way, you can avoid these questions and comments: Oh, you didn't like it. || So I guess that's not your favorite anymore? I made it just for you. || Are you feeling well? You didn't eat enough. || You ate before you came, didn't you?
4. Clone yourself. Because that's the only way you're making it to everyone's Thanksgiving plans. 
5. Win the lottery. Let's be honest, that's the only way you're affording all the traveling, cooking, wine, grocery runs, and early Christmas gifts you need to be prepared for. 
6. Lose 20 pounds. So maybe "You've gained weight!" Won't be the first thing out of your grandma's mouth this year. 
7. Get married and have a baby. So when that one family member starts in on how they always thought you'd be married by now, you can say, HA! IN YOUR FACE. 
8. On the other hand, leave your current husband and children. That way when someone is talking to you about their exotic adventures this year, and how it's such a bummer you're tied down and can't have any fun, you can say, "Psh, what are you talking about?"
9. Spend approximately half of the time you're with family planning Christmas. Who cares that it's Thanksgiving? If you don't spend hours drawing up who's buying what gifts, and who's cooking what food, and what events are on what days, Christmas won't even happen.  
10. Make a list of topics to avoid so you don't offend someone/start a fight. Possible topics to avoid: Religion, politics, racism of any kind, anyone's job, breakups, women in general, men in general...you know what? Just stick to talking about the food. 
11. Duck out of Thanksgiving dinner 3 hours early. Black Friday deals on Christmas presents obviously trump spending time with family. You're probably buying gifts for them, anyway. It would be selfish to stay around and finish your dinner. 
///
Wishing you all lots of good food, some thankfulness, and minimal family drama this month. 
What would you add to this list?

Things I Believe in This Week: Coffee, Lipstick, & Not Pretending.

This week, I believe. . .

. . .In coffee. To be fair, I always believe in coffee. I am coffee's biggest cheerleader, always. But this week, I have extra, extra belief in coffee. When I think back to seven months ago, when Jack was still waking up every hour and a half, I know that I have no reason to be this tired now that he's pretty much sleeping through the night. But I am. I so am. So to that glorious, steaming cup of coffee: Thanks for making me a better person.

. . .That wearing lipstick instantly makes you feel better. As of four years ago, I never, ever wore lipstick. Or lip color of any kind, really. And then one day, I was in Target, and I was having one of those days where I was reallllly feeling my outfit. You know the kind of day I'm talking about...the ones that make you think, hey, maybe I'm way cooler than I thought I was. I saw some bright pink lipstick, decided I was most definitely cool enough to pull it off with my awesome outfit, and have been a believer ever since. 

. . .In being honest about how you're really doing. No one is happy all of the time. No one has a good day every single day. But when someone asks how you're doing, what do you say almost every time? I'm good! How are you? 

I wrote about the unexpected death of someone who was very important to my family two weeks ago. And then, my grandma's death last week. Some other not-so-fun stuff has happened in between that, and with it all added together, you know, I'm just not having the best week.

So when a friend of mine asked how I was, I answered honestly. I'm having kind of a crappy week, but it's all good. Do you know what she said? She said, No, it's not all good. It's part of life, but it doesn't mean it's all good. And then we moved on with our day. The world didn't crumble because I said I was something other than great. It just made me realize that when it comes to those who are close to us, there's no reason to pretend we're doing wonderfully if we're not. That's what friends are for, right? So let's all agree to stop pretending. The world won't fall apart, I promise. 

What do you believe in this week?

Spending November: A To-Do List For Adventuring Through the Month.

1. Buy dog costumes, because they're on sale now. And because you just never know when a good dog costume might come in handy.
2. Nail down your Thanksgiving plans!
3. Plan a personal Thanksgiving. Chris and I have done this every year we've been married and it's one of my favorite days of the year. 
4. Try something new.
5. Download an audiobook and only listen to it when you go for a walk. Fitness motivation and a good book. Win-win.
6. Get a little crazy and participate in NaNoWriMo. Why not, ya know? Need some inspiration? Click here.
7. Pick out some new Thanksgiving recipes and practice them.
8. Make a list of everything you have to do by the end of the year.
9. Go to the library.
10. Drink hot apple cider. Preferably outside, next to a fire.
11. Go on a Thanksgiving date. Any excuse for a date night.
12. Add in one healthy habit to combat all of the holiday unhealthiness starting to happen. Something you don't already do. Drink more water, go for walks, drink green tea...small steps add up!
13. Make pumpkin pie. Or apple pie. Any pie, really. 
14. Buy (or print out) a visual calendar and write our your plans. If you're like me and in a relationship where one person has a crazy, sometimes up in the air kind of schedule, posting important dates where you can see them is so helpful.
15. Drink a caramel spiced apple cider. Love you always, Starbucks, but you really steal my heart October-December.
16. Make a list of black Friday deals you want to check out.
17. Clean out your closet. If you haven't worn it already this year, it's probably time to donate it to someone who could use it. 
18. Make apple cider sangria.
19. Have a coffee date. I'm learning that it's so important to make an effort to stay connected to those in our lives. 
20. Test out a new chili recipe. 
21. Do yoga. 
22. Send happy Thanksgiving cards. No one excepts to get a Thanksgiving card. It's just fun! 
23. Host a friendsgiving.
24. Watch the Macy's Day Parade.
25. Go black Friday shopping. 
26. Start decorating for Christmas!! 
27. Watch Elf. 
28. Make caramel apples. 
29. Start your Christmas shopping!
30. Write down what you were thankful for in November. Carry that thankfulness right on into the Christmas season. 
How will you be spending your November?

Books I Read in October (And Whether or Not You Should Read Them).

The Marriage Lie by Kimberly Belle c/o Netgalley
Plot: Iris and Will's marriage is as close to perfect as it can be: a large house in a nice Atlanta neighborhood, rewarding careers and the excitement of trying for their first baby. But on the morning Will leaves for a business trip to Orlando, Iris's happy world comes to an abrupt halt. Another plane headed for Seattle has crashed into a field, killing everyone on board, and according to the airline, Will was one of the passengers on this plane. 
Grief-stricken and confused, Iris is convinced it all must be a huge misunderstanding. But as time passes and there is still no sign of Will, she reluctantly accepts that he is gone. Still, Iris needs answers. Why did Will lie about where he was going? What is in Seattle? And what else has he lied about? As Iris sets off on a desperate quest to find out what her husband was keeping from her, the answers she receives will shock her to her very core. -Via Goodreads
My thoughts: I read this book in a day. Not because it was amazing, though I did want to find out what was happening. It was more that it was an easy read to lose track of time with...it didn't take too much thought to follow the story, and I curled up in bed and finished it in a few hours. 
It was an interesting plot that made me wonder what I would do in a similar situation-I mean, if you find out your husband is a pretty big liar, what exactly does one do? I thought the main character was very relatable and I liked trying to guess what choices she would make. 
It wasn't the best book I've ever read...it was a little cliche and predictable at parts, and it didn't really stick with me after I'd read it...but I will say this: The very last paragraph of the whole book made me want to stand up and applaud, and I'd throw in an extra star just for that. I love a good ending.
Should you read it? If you're in a reading rut and have some extra time, sure! It's a good read. But you're not missing anything life-changing if you skip it. 
The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware Plot: In this tightly wound story, Lo Blacklock, a journalist who writes for a travel magazine, has just been given the assignment of a lifetime: a week on a luxury cruise with only a handful of cabins. At first, Lo’s stay is nothing but pleasant: the cabins are plush, the dinner parties are sparkling, and the guests are elegant. But as the week wears on, frigid winds whip the deck, gray skies fall, and Lo witnesses what she can only describe as a nightmare: a woman being thrown overboard. The problem? All passengers remain accounted for—and so, the ship sails on as if nothing has happened, despite Lo’s desperate attempts to convey that something (or someone) has gone terribly, terribly wrong…
With surprising twists and a setting that proves as uncomfortably claustrophobic as it is eerily beautiful, Ruth Ware offers up another intense read. -via Goodreads

Favorite quote: "We all have demons inside us, voices that whisper we're no good, that if we don't make this promotion or ace that exam we'll reveal to the world exactly what kind of worthless sacks of skin and sinew we really are. Maybe that's true. Maybe mine just have louder voices."
My thoughts: I started this book off a little worried because the main character reminded me of Rachel from The Girl on The Train. Spoiler alert: I did not like Rachel. But a few chapters in, this book sucked me in. 
I didn't guess the twist (love when that happens) and I was bummed that I had to stop reading it to get some sleep...both signs of a great mystery. I try to read a good thriller every October and this one definitely fit the bill!
Should you read it? Yes!
First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors by Laura Doyle Plot: Laura Doyle’s marriage was in trouble. Marriage counseling made their problems worse—each session seemed to reinforce the feeling that she and her husband were just too far apart.
Desperate to avoid divorcing the man she loved, Laura tried something different: she started talking to happily married women, some for more than 15 years. What she discovered shocked her.

Everything she had heard in marriage counseling was wrong. Laura realized there are basic truths that can help women maintain loving, intimate marriages.

After seeing her own marriage transform, Laura set out to help other women do the same. In First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors, you’ll learn Laura’s “Six Intimacy Skills,” which have been used by over 150,000 women who have turned their unhappy marriages into blissful unions.-via Goodreads

My thoughts: First things first: I am a huge proponent of counseling. The author had a bad experience with one and got a catchy book title out of it. In no way does a book take the place of therapy. 
Now that we've got that out of the way...I enjoyed this one! I appreciated that it came from the stance of, "You probably love your husband and he probably loves you, so let's make your marriage even better!" Instead of, "Your marriage is probably falling apart and you probably suck and so does he so let's change everything about you." 
However...this book is one of those where you've got to take everything and sift through it. There was some stuff that was so good...and some stuff (especially towards the end) that made me think. "Um...say what now?" The things I took away from the book were incredibly valuable, and I was able to just disagree with the things I didn't like.
Should you read it? If you can take things with a grain of salt, yes. If you're the kind of person who likes to read self-help books and take them as complete truth, skip this one. 
What did you read this month?

Cigarettes, Friendship, and Love: A Beautiful Legacy.

My sweet great-grandma went to be with Jesus yesterday. I wrote a version of this post two years ago after calling her on her birthday, and it felt like the perfect thing to share today. 
If you read the post below, you'll see that she's spent over thirty years being faithful to her late husband, not so much as dating anyone else because she loved him so, so much. 
Today, she got to wake up next to him. If there's sleep in heaven I take that back...there is definitely sleep in heaven. Anyone who has ever had a good night's sleep can agree that it's a gift straight from above. She got to see her parents, who she's missed for such a long time. 
While it feels so sad to know that she's not here anymore, it brings me such sweet joy to know that she is with the love of her whole entire life. She loved him long after death-did-they-part, and now death has brought them back together. 
I've also been thinking about the great legacy she leaves behind. Her son, my grandpa, married the love of his life and had a beautiful family. That's all thanks to her. His son, my dad, has done incredible things with his life and touched so many people. Also thanks to her. Me, my brother, and now Jack...anything we do, any legacy we create...it all leads back to her. Man, that's a beautiful thing. 
I love you, Grandma. I hope you know what an amazing life you created. xo
// 

June 2nd, 2014:
My great-grandma recently turned 91, and when I called to tell her happy birthday, she cracked me up with the candor she spoke with.

She answered the phone by saying, "Yep.  I'm gonna die soon." And then laughed and laughed like she had shared an old joke and not a sad statement.  So I changed the subject and asked her about her life.

About her love life:

Me: "Grandma, do you have a boyfriend?"
Her: "I will NOT get into bed with another man, do you hear me? I haven't been in bed with a man since my husband passed and I plan on keeping it that way."
Me: "Grandma, I don't think anyone is trying to make you get in bed with them. You can just go out for coffee. Maybe dinner."
Her: "Ha! No thank you." Pause. "But you listen: I could if I wanted to. It's not like nobody wants to be my boyfriend, because they do. They definitely do."
Life Advice: 

"Do good. Read your Bible. Listen to that feeling in your stomach. And never, no matter what, smoke one single cigarette, ever. It's when you smoke your first cigarette that the devil comes in."

It was so precious to me, because one, I'm twenty-two.  The days of feeling pressured to smoke my first cigarette ever are pretty far behind me. And two, she's such a beautiful soul and truly sees things in that simple light: If you do good and don't smoke cigarettes, life will be pretty good for you.

Friendship:

"I never knew I had so many friends until this year. You won't know who your real friends are until you get really old. At my age, all the glitz and glamor is gone and you can't really do much for other people except be their friend. So if your friends call and come see you and invite you over, it's because they really are your friend. They want to be around you because they love you, not because they love what you can do for them."

She wrapped up the conversation in the same way she started it:

"Yeah, I'm gonna die soon. But don't you be sad for me. I've lived for a really long time and had a really good life. God has been so good to me. I don't want anyone to be sad for me, because when you get to be my age, death isn't so scary, it's friendly. Because so many of my friends have died, I know I'll have some great company when I get up there. I haven't seen my parents in so many years, and I know they'll be waiting on me. And did you know it's been over 30 years since my husband died? So don't you be sad for me, because I know he's up there. He maybe just barely made it in, (he smokes cigarettes, you see) but I know he's there. He'll be waiting to see me again."

My grandma has spent the past 30+ years loving the same man that she married.  Avoiding "the bed" (or even just coffee) with other men.  She has been devoted to him long after death did them part.

"Don't be sad when I die. I won't be sad. I'll get to see that man again. Oh, what a beautiful day it's gonna be. Right Chelsea? Don't you think so?"

Yeah, Grandma.  I think so.
//
Oh, what a beautiful day yesterday must have been. 

From the Cutting Room Floor: October.

The biggest event this month was the hurricane. Gainesville ended up being fine-not even a bad storm! But my little bub helped me prepare just in case.

Pretty sure that Gatsby might think he's a cat. His favorite place is perched balancing on the top of the couch.

Jack's new favorite activity: Crawling all over the house and ripping the doorstoppers off the wall. PS: I know they are a choking hazard. I took them away from him after I took the picture. DON'T YELL AT ME.

He may be nine months old, but he still gives those sweet little newborn snuggles when he's tired. I'll cherish them forever and ever.

My Bible study girls and our baby boys! 

Always standing now. A l w a y s. Send coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. 

Days off are a treat.

We went to Cracker Barrel (because fried okra, duh) and then sat in the white rocking chairs and played a very intense game of checkers. I won't tell you who won but OKAY fine it wasn't me. 

Days off are our favorite, but getting to meet Chris at the hospital for lunch is our second favorite. 

This is so blurry because it's a screenshot from a video, but I had to include it...it was his face when he realized he could stand up on his own with his new toy and it cracks me up every time. 

October, you've been a beautiful one.

What October Taught Me.

Life is short, live it well. A very good friend of my family passed away last week suddenly and very unexpected. It was obvious at her memorial service last night that she had touched so many peoples' lives. She lived life well. When we were leaving, my friend said, "It just challenges me to do better. She did so good." 
It's one thing to talk about how short life is and how we need to live it to the fullest when we're talking about going on vacation or going out on a Friday. But it's another thing to really, really think about it. Life is short. Every single day counts. Live those days well. 

It just doesn't get as important as the people you love. You can't beat time spent with friends and family. I think we get in our head that there is a certain level of importance...our job is high up there, our success, our to-do lists. But in what world does having a clean kitchen rank as more important than making memories with our loved ones? 
When your family truly needs you, drop your busywork and be there for them. When your friends want to come over for dinner, don't worry about your sticky floors and piles of laundry. Have dinner anyway. When you get a day off and you could either catch up on your to-do list or go to a pumpkin patch, my goodness...go to the pumpkin patch. 
You can't make more time, but you can make the most of the time that you have. You would think I would be a pro at this by now, but nope, still learning it daily. I don't get as much time with Christopher as I would like. It's not complaining, it's just a fact. Residency is a time-killer.  But. I do get some time. 
Sometimes taking advantage of that looks like planning a little day trip, and sometimes it looks like binge-watching our favorite shows on the couch all day. Either way...Whether you're working way more than you want, or you have the exact opposite schedule as your friends, or you're drowning in homework...we all get some time. It's up to us to make the most of it. 
What has October taught you?