What July Taught Me.

1. Just because something is over doesn't mean you've dealt with it in the way you need to. || Anybody else guilty of trying to move RIGHT past something hard the second it's over? This month taught me, nice try - but no. When you go through hard things, or stressful things, or overwhelming things...just because those "things" finish doesn't mean your feelings do. And that's okay! It's okay to process as long as you need to. 
2. Don't even SIT at tables where you will be the topic of conversation when you get up. || I've always loved that quote, but this month really taught it to me from a new perspective. Not only should you not trust those people, you shouldn't even sit down at the dang table. You're worth so much more than that, and your time is worth so much more than that. 
3. Your morning sets the tone for your day. || I mean, I kind of wish this one wasn't true. It would be nice to lounge around every morning and still have a productive day. Alas, not the case for me. If I have a rushed and stressful morning, I will have a rushed and stressful day. If I have an intentional morning, my day follows suit. 
4. It's beyond okay to change. || Slowly or overnight or rarely or often. Drastically or subtly. You are allowed to change. In big ways and small ways. And - here's the kicker - you don't have to explain it to anyone other than yourself. 
5. Find the good in whatever season you're in instead of wishing it away. || If I could have fast forwarded through most of the last eight months, I would have. There was some terrible stuff in there. But now that I'm here, in hindsight I can see how much good stuff I would have missed. I would have missed laughing while Jack jumped on the bed and sang "5 little monkeys." I would have missed laughing with my best friends. I would have missed good books and good dinners and beach days. 
There's always good, even in the midst of the worst seasons. And the truth is that you can't fast forward through the hard stuff. So look for the good. If you look hard enough, you'll find it. 
What did July teach you? Don't forget to use the instagram template and tag me so I can share your lessons, too! 

What June Taught Me.

You are a success each time you choose to keep trying. || I heard John Maxwell talk about this on the Rise podcast, and he gave the example of someone celebrating graduating college. He said, "Everyone celebrates her on that day, but she didn't just become a success when she was handed a diploma. She became a success when she woke up on Wednesdays to go to math class. She became a success when she failed a test but stayed in school. On the good and bad days, she was a success because she kept trying." 
I LOVED that. We sometimes narrow success down to such a small window (just the graduation day, for example), but he's right...we succeed each time we choose to try. 
Enjoying the present moment is just as important as planning for future moments. || I'm a planner. I really enjoy planning ahead. But I'm learning that enjoying life day by day is just as important as planning for the future. And let's be honest - future plans tend to change. I should be putting at least the same amount of effort into the only thing that is absolutely for sure, and that's the present moment. 
The best kind of friend doesn't look away when you're drowning. || I've got a whole blog post coming about this soon, but the last few months have truly taught me a lesson that I can't stop thinking about this month: True friends don't look away when you're drowning. They sit on the edge of their boat and reach their hands out and hold you up for as long as it takes, no matter how tiring and not fun it is. 
You are capable of whatever you set your mind to. || I made a commitment to myself to live thirty days in a certain way. We're only on day twelve, but we're about ten days into me no longer wanting to do it (haha...but also I'm being serious). But I made a promise to myself, so I've been doing it anyway. And you know what? I feel physically and mentally better than I have in a long time. Forcing myself to do things like exercise and journal my thoughts every single day (even the weekends, GASP) has been so good for me. But beyond that, it's taught me that I'm capable of sticking to things, even when I don't want to. 
Pajamas are LIFE-GIVING. || Look, sometimes I learn big, impactful things, and sometimes I learn that pajamas truly make my life better. Balance, you know?
What did you learn this month?! Don't forget to fill out the instagram story template (and tag me!) so we can all see! 

What April Taught Me.

To worry WAY LESS about what other people think. || I really wish that one of these months this lesson would stick, but I'm a work in progress. This month, though, has shown me how little other people's opinions actually matter. Do I hope people like me? Duh. Do I wish everyone approved of every choice I make? Of course. But does it matter? Nope. 
I'll say this: The more I like myself and I approve of my choices, the easier it is to care less about what other people think. So for me, those are the things I need to focus on.
That forming habits isn't about making yourself like something, it's about making yourself do something. || I heard this on an episode of Rise podcast and it was a "duh" moment for me. I guess I've always thought that habits were about making yourself enjoy something...working out or being more disciplined about your day or eating healthy or cleaning your house...and then when I don't like it, I assume it's not a habit that worked. But this mindset is so helpful. You're not trying to make yourself like something that's good for you, you're just trying to do it. 
To surround myself with people that fill me up, not drain me. || Choosing who is in your circle is one of the most important and impactful decisions you can make. And (listen to this), if you're an adult, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO! What a concept! If someone is draining, or mean, or belittling, what are you doing sharing your life with them? Bye!
To enjoy the slow days as much as the action packed ones. || I love adventures and trips and a day filled to the brim with plans. But I also love a slow day with some sunshine and a good book. Going out is great, but so is cooking dinner in sweatpants with your friends. Those nights are just as good, if not better. 
The good always outweighs the bad. || Always, always, always. You've just gotta do a better job of looking for it and calling it out when you see it. 
What did this month teach you? I had so much fun seeing everyone's answers on instagram last month, so here's an insta story template for April. Tell me what you've learned! 

What February Taught Me.

That it's up to me to fill my cup. || I feel like we have the tendency to run around doing everything for everyone, pouring ourselves out at our jobs, for our friends, for our family, and then wonder why we feel empty. Well, boo, it's because you are. February really showed me how important it is to focus on filling my cup. It makes all the difference in the world. 
I also learned some very specific things that fill my cup. || Being in the sunshine, spending time with friends, reading, waking up to a clean house. I drove to Jacksonville twice last month just to spend the day eating tacos and laughing with one of my best friends because I knew I was running on empty and I knew that would do the trick. Learn what fills your cup and do not apologize for taking the time to do it. 
That taking a break and reading a book is sometimes just as productive as a day full of errands || Sometimes I feel pressure (literally just from myself) to run around and get all the things done on my day off. Two weeks ago, though, I spent my Friday laying by the pool and read an entire book. SO WORTH IT. I felt like I'd been at a spa and slept for seven days. 
That there is nothing, nothing that you cannot overcome. || I've been pretty open about how the last few months have been full of some rough stuff for my family, and there were several days in February that I caught myself thinking, "Holy crap, I'm making it?? We're actually all making it?!" 
I wish I could sit down with you and pour my heart out about this for hours over coffee, but in short, let me just say this: There is NOTHING you cannot overcome. You are stronger than you could possibly imagine, and big or small, you will get through what life throws at you. 
What did February teach you?

What January is Teaching Me.

"Your circle should want you to win. Your circle should clap the loudest when you have good news. If they don't, get a new circle." || Kristen shared this yesterday and hot dang, she's right. But I want to say something about this: We aren't all blessed with a great circle all the time. Two things: One, make sure you're being someone you'd want in your own circle. And two: No circle is better than a crappy circle. If you're circle has to be just you and your dog for a little bit, that's okay! And it's better than filling your life with people who aren't cheering you on. Value yourself enough to shrink your circle when you need to. 
A bad hour doesn't have to mean a bad day, a bad day doesn't have to mean a bad week, a bad week doesn't have to mean a bad month. || Things can (and usually will) get better. Don't mentally throw the whole month out over a bad day. 
Good childcare is worth every penny. || Jack's nanny is a freaking gem. He loves her, she loves him, I no longer feel like the worst when I pull out of the driveway, and I know he's safe the entire time I'm gone. This month especially, she's been a lifesaver. She costs a lot more than I was paying before her, but I am not exaggerating when I say I would eat PB&J every night before I let her go. If you have a kid, I know how stressful childcare can be...but trust me, people like that are out there! Keep trying!
I can never live up north. || It has been cold (I mean, Florida cold, but still - cold) and I HATE IT. Not that I was planning on jetting off to live somewhere cold anytime soon, but still, good to know. It ain't for me. 
There is a direct correlation in the media I consume and the way I feel. || I feel like this is pretty much a "duh" kind of thing, but I paid extra attention to it this month. The days I listened to empowering podcasts and positive music were much better days for me.
Time spent with people I love is always going to be my love language & always going to be worth any effort it takes. || Today, I'm hanging out with one of my best friends. In order to make this happen, we had to plan literal months in advance, she had to take the day off of work, and I have to pay someone to watch Jack. WORTH EVERY STINKIN' BIT. 
Two things I heard this month that really struck a chord with me:
"Givers have to set boundaries, because takers rarely will." -my friend Joey
"Just a reminder that Mary Oliver's answer to her question, "What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" was to stroll idly through fields noting things. The question out of context could appear to be about achieving more - it's not." -Jessica Faith Kantrowitz
What is January teaching you? 

What December Taught Me.

Happy week after Christmas, friends! The weird week where no one really knows what to do with themselves. I hope you had the very best Christmas. 
This year was a little weird in the sense that I feel like December has been months long. I feel like Christmas flew by, but December lasted approximately six months...does that make sense? 
Anyway, this month taught me a few things. Like: 
In the words of my friend, Steph: "You can perspective and gratitude the F out of your life and it will not keep bad, sad, devastating, hard as hell things from happening. So important to have the right people next to you when they do." || Perspective and gratitude are my jam. But hard things? They still happen. And when they do, you cannot lean only on yourself. Thankful lists are wonderful (and have been lifechanging for me), but they will not hold you up in rough seasons. 
Faith and friendships are two incredibly important things to me. They're both things that require work and effort on my part. But over the last month, I just had to lean into them. Fall back on them. No effort to give, just jumping in hoping they would catch me. They did. 
That Christmas is truly the least about what we tend to make it the most about. || I am BIG on traditions, especially around Christmastime. Christmas Eve, specifically. Ever since I can remember, it's been my favorite day full of tradition. This year, Jack woke up so sick on Christmas Eve. Instead of running around and doing traditional Christmas Eve things, it was spent at home with a very sick bub. No last minute gifts were bought. No cookies were baked. And you know what? Christmas was still amazing. 
That fresh starts are always going to fill me with hope. || I am truly giddy at the thought of the new year. Though I believe fresh starts can happen on any day, there is something magical about the start of a new calendar year. I'm so excited for 2019. I'm so hopeful for 2019. I'm so ready for 2019. How about you?
What did this month teach you?

What November is Teaching Me.

Good morning! How was Thanksgiving? Black Friday? The weekend? I hope you got to spend it doing exactly whatever the heck you wanted to do. I got to spend it with my family and it was so much fun. 
This month is drawing to a close (howwwww?) so as always, I'm looking at what I learned this month. Just gonna level with you here - this month was a doozy. So much so that I kinda wanted to skip the whole "what I learned this month" post for November, not because I didn't want to write it, but because I didn't necessarily want to look back on the month yet. But hey, that's part of being alive, right? Learning and growing and stretching and becoming better for it. 
SO. November. Here are the cliff notes: 
There are times to push through and there are times to pull back and rest. || I am of the *hustle* mentality. Work hard, get it done, stay up late and get up early if you have to, hard work pays off, yada yada. HOWEVER. While there are times when that is admirable and often necessary, there are definitely times to pull back and rest. 
There were quite a few days this month where I did the bare minimum. Dishes stayed in the sink, laundry stayed in the hamper, emails went unanswered, and you know what? Everyone survived. 
Sometimes the thing you need to do to heal and refresh and take care of yourself is nothing.  
That good can come out of just about anything. || I am very sad about a lot of November's events. I am very amazed at the good things I've seen come out of the bad things. Those two feelings can exist at the same time. 
That any day you are lucky enough to wake up is a perfect day for a fresh start. || Fall off the healthy eating wagon and feeling like crap? Guess what! You can start over today. Feel like a loser because you basically just set every goal you've had for yourself on fire and walked away? Good news - you can start working on them today. Been a giant jerk and need to reevaluate the way you treat people? Awesome, you can do that today! 
You don't need a new month or a new year or a Facebook group or anything to start. If you woke up on a day, it's a good day for a fresh start. 
That you do not have to explain your choices to anyone. || If you have chosen something that is best for you, congratulations and I'm proud of you. And I just want to remind you that you are not obligated to explain those choices to a single soul. Having a rough day and need to let your kid watch TV the whole dang day long? Cool! You don't need to justify that. Spent all your spending money on takeout this month because you don't wanna cook? You do you, my friend. Need to delete social media for a minute? Want to post seventeen pictures a day? Want to skip buying Christmas presents this year? Want to celebrate to the fullest and spend all your money on gifts? 
Whatever you want do or need to do, DO it. And don't worry about explaining it to anyone else. 
What is November teaching you?

What October Taught Me.

That I have a strong desire for being able to peacefully disagree. || It's been bothering me so much lately how we, as humans, can't seem to just disagree and move on. We have to be right, and if we're right, then the other person must be wrong, and that's that. And if that's that, we neeeeed to argue about it.
Now, I'm not talking about basic good and evil. Some things are inherently wrong. Racism, for instance. If you're a racist, we're never gonna peacefully disagree and we are gonna argue about it. But if you hate something I'm a huge fan of, or vice versa, we should be able to just disagree and go about our lives. If you think I'm spending my free time doing something stupid, or if I think you're crazy for what you spend your money on, or if we're voting differently, let's hear each other out and then say, "Cool! Let's move on!" It is good to have people in your life who are different than you. It stretches you as a human. 
Long lesson short: Try harder to understand those who view things differently than you. Not everything needs to be so polarizing and not everything needs to be an argument. 
Fall weather makes everything better. || We got a little chilly spell here in Florida, and the second I was mobile again after the stomach flu, I opened alllll the windows and instantly felt better. This last week has been a very stressful one, and taking a few minutes to step outside and breathe in some cool air has helped tremendously. It's a little bit of magic. 
Long lesson short: Get outside and enjoy the fall weather. 
To not be afraid to buy from MLMs. || Just gonna level with you here: I (subconsciously?) have believed the stigma of MLMs. I personally have nothing against them, they're filed under "good for her, not for me." But, it's one of those things where a few bad apples can ruin it for the good ones. In this case, the bad apples being the girls you haven't spoken to since high school sliding into your dms saying "You've been on my mind! Can I help you lose weight?" No Karen, no you may not. So much yuck to make a buck, amiright?
Anyway, I've bought from a few MLMs in the past, but only from people I'm real-life close enough to that I could just straight up say, "hi, I hate this, never bring it up again, okaythankyoubye" if I needed to. But I finally got so fed up with my skin breaking out from makeup that I wanted to try non-toxic stuff. Googling told me Beautycounter was the best non-toxic brand, but...ding ding! It's an MLM. I suspended my ick feelings about MLMs, ordered from a stranger on instagram...and I love it. I don't know that I'll ever wear any other makeup because my skin is doing so well on this stuff.
Long lesson short: Shame on me for being judgy. Stop that. 
That I'm never going to be fully happy if I'm not writing. || Why, why, whyyyyyy are the things that make us happy the first to go when we're busy and overwhelmed? I know for a fact I've written something similar here before, but apparently, I'm not in the business of taking my own advice. 
For the last two months, other than blog posts, I've written  n o t h i n g. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I've been having a stressful go at it, and things I deem unnecessary fly off the to-do list to make room for everything else. Sometimes, we go through survival phases, and we have to do what we have to do. But YOUR GIRL NEEDS TO WRITE. I've been squeezing in ten minutes writing here and there the last few days, long to-do lists and all, and it has made a world of difference. 
Long lesson short: Do the things that make you feel happy, no matter how busy you are. 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! What did October teach you?

What September Taught Me.

To go to the freaking doctor when I don't feel good. || I had some weird pain last week that I thought could possibly be an ear infection or jaw issue (but was probably totally nothing), and it kept getting worse. Because I am stubborn and have a high pain tolerance I assume that if I ignore something/press through something long enough, it will go away. The throbbing happening on the entire right side of my face right now would suggest that is FALSE. Note to self: Go to the doctor sooner next time. 
That saying your goals out loud to someone is a really powerful thing. || Writing them down and thinking about them in the privacy of your own brain is good. It's a good first step. But saying them out loud? To your friends and your family and whoever will listen? Goodness gracious, it's next level. It gives those closest to you permission to join that part of your life, and that's pretty cool.
To not be so stuck that I won't try new things. || I completely overhauled my daily / weekly routine two weeks ago, and you know what? I LOVE IT. It created so much more room for productivity and removed a lot of the overwhelm I was feeling. It was a good reminder to not get so stuck on things that are good that I won't try things that might be great. 
With everything new, to take the good and leave the rest. || A few months ago, I started following this nutritionist on Instagram. She shared a lot of health tips that were super helpful to me, shared recipes I tried and loved, and really helped me view getting healthy in a new way. Well, last week she busts out with all protein, except for plants, is horrible for you. And not just like, hey, watch how much you eat! But, all of it is awful and it will probably kill you. Meat? It's the devil. Eggs? They will literally murder you. 
It was a bummer because I'm not personally vegan, and my first instinct was to just stop listening to her completely...but that's dumb, because I've gotten so many good things from her! The reality is, I'm probably not going to agree 100% with everything new I come across in life...but that doesn't mean I should just discount all of it. Take the good, leave the rest. 
What did this month teach you?

What August Taught Me.

That it's worth it to spend time and money on little joys. || Friday was Jack's current nanny's last day (insert all of the tears...does anyone have any Gainesville babysitter connections?), and I had planned to get allll of the things done. Know what I did instead? I went to the pool, then I met my friend for lunch. It was so worth it. I spent money on getting my nails done with her. It was so worth it. I got home that day not with a completed to-do list, but feeling relaxed and refreshed from spending the day with one of my best friends. So. Worth. It. 
Sometimes we (or at least, this is true about me) feel guilty for spending our time and resources on little things that don't seem important. I'm just gonna tell you - they are important. And they are worth it. 
That I still care way too much about what people think. || After reading Girl, Wash Your Face, I've tried to really pay attention to this in myself. Oof, I've got a lot of work to do. I've come a really long way, and do care way less than I did even last year, but I give other people's opinions (or maybe opinions, or what they might think) waaaaay too much brain space. Going to keep working on this!
That it is extremely satisfying to work through the hard days. || August had lots of hard days. Not bad days, but hard days. It was a good month, but I have a two-year-old and I work from home...there's gonna be some hard days! But this month showed me that being tired and having a hard day and choosing the chug some coffee and get to it anyway is incredibly satisfying. It feels so good to choose to work hard, even when you'd rather crawl into bed and watch Netflix. Being proud of myself is a feeling I love, and it's worth being a little sleepy every now and then. 
Listening to an encouraging book or podcast while I do busywork makes me so much more productive. || I love a good pump-you-up playlist, but those only work for so long before I'm over it. I've found that listening to a positive book or podcast while I'm doing things like wading through emails, doing the dishes, folding laundry, or other mindless work like that makes me more productive for longer. What about you?
What did this month teach you? 

What July Taught Me.

To slow the heck down || More specifically, that it's possible to slow down even when life is hectic. I tend to equate "slowing down" with "doing nothing" and I'm learning that doesn't have to be the case. Even on the busiest of days, doing simple things like taking care of my face can slow things down. 
For me, slowing down is more about attitude than it is about action. I can still have a day of working hard and tackling my to-do list without having an anxious and urgent attitude about it. Does that make sense?

To remember to dream big ||  I mentioned last month that I’ve started making a little money on Poshmark. I’ve also been making money from my blog (praise!). I’ve got this list on my phone of things I need money for, and every time I make a sale on Poshmark, or when my Amazon affiliate payments come in, I subtract that amount from the list. Right now, it’s mostly boring things: Credit card payments, library fines (oops). And a few fun things, too: Swim lessons for Jack, new, prettier bedding.

I’m reading Girl, Wash Your Face (CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH) and - I say this without a hint of exaggeration - it’s changing my life by the chapter. Truly. But one of the ways it’s wrecked my mindset this month is the reminder to dream big. To write down the big things you want so you remember why you’re working so hard. 

Do I want new bedding? Yes! Would paying my credit cards down to zero be amazing? Heck yeah. Are they my biggest, wildest dreams? No. They’re not. 

So this month was a reminder to dream big and out loud and in color. To write them down, to put them where I can see them, to work hard with those dreams in mind. Tell me - what are your dreams? The big ones? The scary ones? The ones that might seem silly to someone else, but are important to you. Hear me: They’re important. They’re reachable. Get at it! 

What did this month teach you?

What June Taught Me.

To let the good moments overwhelm you. || Last Friday, Jack was with his nanny and it was the first moment I've had to myself in a hot minute. I had the pool completely to myself, and the water was the absolute perfect temperature. The sun was out, there was a breeze, it was just beautiful. And for a second, it completely overwhelmed me. Like, wow, how beautiful is this day? And I really want that to happen more. I'm the type to get overwhelmed by the bad things, so I want to be overwhelemed by the good things, too. I want to give them just as much attention and brain space and power over my day and attitude. 
Sometimes you have to balance physical health and mental health. || The last year or so, I've gotten into a really good groove with working out. It's been amazing for me, and I feel so much better for it. But. The last two-ish weeks have been super stressful. I had probably the craziest work week I've ever had, things at home were super busy, and overall my stress level was just super high. Nothing terrible, but enough that working out fell to the wayside. 
Now, longterm, that's not okay for me. Working out is a huge stress reliever. But short term, you only get so many hours in a day, and sometimes there are things you have to do, and going for a run isn't one of them. 
Anyway, all that to say that this month taught me to recognize that sometimes, you've just got to power through and be okay with not getting everything you'd like to get done. Most days, going for a run is the best for me. But some days, going for a run may be the added thing on my to-do list that pushes me right over the edge of insanity. And, most importantly, to not feel guilty about it. 
When the big picture is overwhelming, focus on the little things you can do. || Speaking of overwhelm, things certainly seem that way, don't they? The news (and honestly the general state of things) has been truly, truly depressing. The children being separated from their parents this month gutted me. It seemed like such a giant situation-how did we get here? What's there to do about it? I'm thankful for trustworthy friends who shared small, actionable things. Donate here. Call them. Do this. 
That's a big example, but the same is true in day-to-day life. I was really overwhelemed with work last week, and it helped me immensely to look at what I was responsible for and say, what can I do right now? When I think about how residency is ten billion years long and it feels like I'm gonna be solo-parenting until Jack graduates college, I think how can I make this day really good? Not tomorrow, or next year, but this day. Breaking it down into bite-sized pieces is so, so helpful. 
What did this month teach you?

What May Taught Me.

To focus on the things that are in my control. I'm pretty sure this has been on a "what I learned this month" list before, so obviously I still have more to learn about it. But I thought a lot about it this month. I'm the kind of person who can drive myself crazy thinking about all the things I have absolutely no control over. And how stupid is that? What a way to waste a day, right? I'm working on focusing on all the things I can control, and trying to just roll with the punches for the rest. 
To be the best version of myself. I wrote about it here. I'm working on changing my perspective to focus on this, and it's been really amazing. 
That I crave experiences. This is how I like to spend my money. I want vacations and trips and memories. I want to go to dinner not because I don't want to cook (I mean, I probably don't want to cook), but because I want the experiences of sitting on a patio and laughing and talking over food. It doesn't bother me to drop a lot of money on vacation and have to pinch pennies for the rest of the month, because I want to make long-lasting memories of sitting on the beach and eating nachos while my babe laughs and plays football. 
That as much as I love a good to-do list, I don't need to live and die by them. I had a lot of things to do on Thursday, but the sun came out for the first time in what felt like forever. So I took Jack to the pool, and we stayed there until the rain came back. This meant the dishes didn't get done. I didn't catch up on laundry. Emails went unresponded to. And you know what? It was every bit worth it. If I had judged the day by how many things I marked off my to-do list, it would've looked like a failure. But in reality, it was anything but. 
What did this month teach you?

What April Taught Me.

Good friendships are the best medicine. Around a year ago, I was at the beginning of a very difficult season of life. About the same time, I suddenly found myself with a circle of amazing friends. Some old, some new, but all there. One of the biggest ways I have seen God this year is through those friends. I could ramble on and on about all the things they've done for me lately (and I'm a blogger, so let's be honest, I probably will eventually), but for now, two things: 1) New friendships as an adult? TOTALLY POSSIBLE AND TOTALLY WORTH IT. Your life did not end in college, why would making friendships? And 2) Remember how powerful friendships are. Don't settle for crappy friends, and don't be a crappy friend. 
Downtime is essential, even if you have to schedule it. I am a big list person. I always have a list of things that need to get done, which means when I have a break, I'm always doing something. Sometimes, that's necessary. Lately, though, I've been really freaking tired. So when I have a break, I've been taking it as just that - a break. Reading a book or sitting outside or watching TV instead of doing laundry or running errands or catching up. It has been so good for me, and I think you should try it. 
Doing something kind for someone else isn't just good for them, it's good for you. A few weeks ago, a friend called and asked me for help. This is embarrassing, especially after my spiel on friendship above, but I'm just going to level with you: I did not want to help. I was tired, I was grumpy, I had other plans. But I helped, and when I got a text saying thank you later, I almost burst into tears because I felt so good about being able to change their situation just a little bit. That's a selfish reason to help people, for sure, but it's something to keep in mind: Being a good person is good for you. Being kind is healthy for you. Being a good friend does wonders for your mood. 
Don't be afraid to ask your people for help. On that note, don't be afraid to ask for help yourself. I don't know when this shift happened that I started feeling embarrassed to ask for help, or started feeling bad calling in backup from my people, but this month I snapped out of that. I mentioned my friends planning a surprise trip for me, and the amount of driving and planning it took to spend one night away is almost comical. It took help from everybody, and you know what? No one cared! They were all happy to help.
Life is made up of seasons. Sometimes the season you're in will call you to be more of a helper, and sometimes the season you're in will require lots of help. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Your people understand. They want to help you. And they know, when the tables turn (as they always do, eventually), they can call on you for help, and you'll be there. 
What did this month teach you?

What March Taught Me.

To speak up. I found myself in several situations this month where...let's call it, strong communication...was necessary. One example being that the place we booked through in Siesta Key bumped us from a really nice place to a really crappy one and tried to act like it was no problem. Two-years-ago-Chelsea would have immediately tried to convince everyone that it was fine, but this-year-Chelsea was real quick to get on the phone and demand an explanation and a solution. 
A little bit into my strong communication with Beachside Management (horrible experience, 10/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND) I caught my best friend watching me and her eyes were so wide it made me burst into laughter. When I got off the phone we agreed that if someone who knew me a few years ago had seen that encounter, they would have been shocked. Which leads me to...
That I'm actually really proud of who I am becoming. Two years ago I wouldn't even send food back at a restaurant if they got my order wrong. I hate confrontation that much. I have grown leaps and bounds in not only this area, but in so many other ways. I saw something on Pinterest this week that said, "I am fiercely protective of the woman I am becoming." I just love that so much. 
The only person who knows just how much work it's taken for you to become the person you are right now is the person you were last year, or two years ago, or five years ago. I hope you're making yourself proud. And if not, I hope you are fiercely protective of yourself as you work to be.
No one else is responsible for your happiness. It may make you feel happy when someone texts you first, or does something kind for you, or remembers a special day of yours. But your actual happiness? That one's on you, babe. Realizing that is truly empowering, because one, if gives people way less power over you than they should have, and two, it gives you something to work towards. I truly hope that you are surrounded by the very best friends and family who do make you happy, but even if you are, they still aren't responsible for making you happy. That's all you, and you should work towards that. 
That breaks are good, and you should not save them for special occasions. I went on vacation with six girls. We did lots of sightseeing and explored the town every night. It was a blast, but I definitely wouldn't classify it as restful. I came back so rejuvenated, though, because I got a five-day break. It was so healthy and so needed. And while week-long breaks in other cities are great, breaks shouldn't be pushed off until you have an occasion like that. Weekends, or days off, or even an hour stolen at night...USE THOSE. Take breaks. 
What did this month teach you?

What February Taught Me.

That fresh air changes everything. After what felt like the longest winter Florida has ever had, she's back to being her sunshiny self. And I love it. As soon as it crawled above 60, I opened my doors and hauled my work outside. Any computer work, I've been setting up shop on my patio and working out there. It has made alllll the difference in my attitude mental sanity. Fresh air + sunshine can cure just about any bad day. 
That happiness and worrying about what other people think of your decisions cannot coexist. 

  I saw this quote on pinterest last week and loved it so much. It really made me think, and honestly, I cannot think of a single time that worrying about what other people thought of me / my decisions made things even a little bit better for me. 
That when pure joy comes along, you need to stop and revel in it and soak every bit of it up. When horrible things happen, I allow them to devastate me (and honestly, they should. Some of the things happening recently are truly devastating and heartbreaking and I'm a big believer that we need to let ourselves feel that instead of turning a blind eye to everything happening). But when good things happen, I don't let them overtake me in the same way. Why not? Why not revel in the good and let it permeate my whole day in the same way that bad things tend to do? I'm working on this. 
Happy Monday, friends. Tell me something February taught you!

What January Taught Me.

First things first, Jack got a haircut. He has a little baby fade and is now 15 years old. It's fine, I'm fine. 

January felt like a very long month. It seems like it's been ages since I rang in a new year on the beach, and I'm counting that as a blessing. Because what a gift a new year is, and part one of 2018 has been full and slow. I've gotten a lot out of it. A few things this month has taught me: 

Music is so powerful when it comes to your mood. Of course, I already knew this. But this month I've been making a point to listen to more songs that make me happy, and it's amazing to me how fast that can instantly put me in a good mood. What are your favorite feel-good jams? Send 'em my way.

Stop feeding people who only take a plate to go. I saw this quote, of all places, on a funny meme account. But how good?! 

Now, don't read this as "only be nice to people who are nice to you" or, "all relationships need to be 50/50" because I do believe in being kind to everyone and in often pouring good into people just because you can. I'm talking about those close to you, your inner circle, the people you choose to really let into your life. 

At some point, you have to realize that you are precious. Your friendship is a gift. And if you're exhausted from givinggivinggiving to people who just take plates to go, it may be time to take a step back from feeding them. 

While some things will always be out of my control, lots of things will always be in my control. I fell down the comparison rabbit hole a few times this month (Which is normally something I'm so good about!) and got into that gross place of feeling bummed about where I'm at/how I look/what I'm doing/blahblahblah compared to other people. I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself last night, and no matter what's going on (or not going on) in your life, it's pretty freaking empowering to think about how much is in your control. 

I'm in control of if I eat healthy and workout, which means I am largely in control of how I feel. I'm in control of how I spend my free time. I'm in control of who I spend that time with. So while a lot of things are up to things outside of my control, there's a heck of a lot I get to decide. And I think that's worth re-remembering every now and then. 

What did this month teach you?

What December Taught Me.

That I need to slow down more. The Friday before Christmas, I spent the day at the beach with my family. No big special occasion, no plan, just beach chairs and publix subs (THE best) and watching Jack eat sand by the shovel-fulls. It was so relaxing and refreshing, especially in the middle of the go-go-go holiday season. I want more days like that in 2018.
That it's important to look back every now and then. I believe you learn the most about yourself from yourself, especially from past versions of yourself. I go back and forth on New Year's goals...sometimes I set them, sometimes I don't, sometimes they're very specific, sometimes they're vague. What I've decided to do for 2018 is to look back on this year and see where I was the happiest and where I wasn't, and take things from there. What of 2017 do I want more of, and what do I want less of?
That I shouldn't wait for a holiday just to spend time with my people, or give gifts.  It doesn't have to be Christmas for me to go spend a day at the beach with my family. For New Years this year, my best friend and I are staying at a family friend's beach house. That house is there all year long, and we could stay there just about any given weekend. The dollar spot at Target (where, let's be honest, lots of my gifts for friends came from) is there all year long. The $10 I spent on a gift, I could spare just about any month. See what I'm saying here? I want more celebrations, special occasion or not. 
What did this month teach you?

What November Taught Me.

To make the most of your moments.  Life is such a weird and delicate balance of planning for the future and living in the moment. You can't truly live in the moment all the time, otherwise, you'd spend all your money on something that made you happy right now and not be able to pay your rent at the end of the month, or take off traveling and not have a job when you get back. But there is something to be said about being aware of the fact that this moment, today, is all you can be sure of. Hopefully you'll have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, so of course it's important to plan and work and prepare. But don't get so busy doing those things that you don't even enjoy the moments in front of you. 
That not everyone will understand the choices you make, and that's okay. Have you ever needed to cancel plans pretty late? Not flaked out, or changed your mind, but desperately needed to cancel plans for your own well-being? And when you catch flack for it, you think, I wish I could just make you see into my head right now so you could understand this. But you can't, and that's okay. Becuase you made the decision you needed to make for you. 
I'm learning a lot of life is like that. Since so much of daily life is made up of decisions, it makes sense that there are going to be a few (or a lot) decisions that not everyone in your life understands, or agrees with, or supports. The important thing is to make the ones you think are right. 
That it's okay if you can't bring yourself to savor every single second. It doesn't make you a bad friend or partner or parent. I'm so big on savoring the time we're given, but do you know what I spent last night doing? Cleaning up throw up from my carpet. Do you know how much of me savored those moments? Exactly none. Zero percent. I love Jack, I love being his mom, I love spending time with him. But last night, my thoughts were somewhere along the lines of OKAY FRIDAY, I NEED YOU, STAT. And that's okay. Savor what you can, but truly, not all of it can be savored. And that's okay. 
What did this month teach you? 

What October Taught Me.

That going somewhere new will always shift my perspective. I can't decide if I think that travel changes you or that it makes you more yourself. Either way, it shifts your perspective. My brother recently moved to Colorado and I visited him a few weeks ago, and let me tell you, when you're outside, surrounded by mountains and the overall grandness of nature, it's hard to think that your problems are a big deal in the grand scheme of things. 
That fighting against evil will always be exhausting, but it means you are alive and you have a voice, and that is a gift. This has truly been an exhausting month in terms of heartbreaking events. The horrific shooting in Vegas, the whole utterly devastating #metoo movement, just so much evil. I have felt, on more than one occasion, an overwhelming sense of, "How are we still here, still fighting against these awful things? It's never going to get any better."
A friend sent me a screenshot of Glennon Doyle's Instagram post last week, and one line in her caption read, "Listen-hope is everywhere. Hopelessness is a lazy choice." YES. And so we keep choosing hope, no matter how much darkness creeps in. We keep opening our mouths to say "this is not okay" no matter how repetitive it seems, no matter how quiet our voices sound. Because to be alive and to have a voice is a privilege. 

To respect and honor the season I'm in. I love being Jack's mom, and he is a fairly easy kid. That being said, the age he is right now is exhausting. Always running, always curious, always getting into things. So save for a few things on the porch, my house did not get decorated for fall this year, because he can reach everything. And while that probably would have broken two-years-ago-me's heart, it's totally okay! Because that's the season I'm in, and I respect that.  You know how people say to listen to your body when it's craving something, because it's trying to tell you something? (I don't think this applies to me, because all I ever crave is queso and Chinese food, but that's another topic). Well, I think your soul craves things too. And right now, in this season, my soul has been craving connection with my people. Sometimes that means skipping cleaning the house during Jack's naptime to have a facetime date. Sometimes it means not spending money at the mall, and saving that money to go visit friends instead. That's the season I'm in, and I honor that.  Whatever season you're in, respect it. Don't compare it to the season other's around you are in. Don't feel guilt that it doesn't look the same, or that it doesn't look like you think it should. Honor yourself and this part of your life. Embrace it. All seasons come and go, soak this one up while it's here. 
What has this month taught you?