T W E N T Y - S E V E N.

dress

Dear 27, 
You've arrived! I've gotta say, I'm thrilled you're here. I've never been so excited to welcome a new year of life. How lucky I am - during a time when I was desperately craving new and fresh - to get my own personal new year. It's a gift and I'm so thankful for it.
I have high hopes for you. Maybe the highest I've ever had for a year. I hope you're full to the brim. Full of more of the good stuff. More laughing, more slow moments. More time spent however the heck I want to spend it. More speaking out about the things that matter. More time spent in the sunshine. More good books. More living - loud, bold, unapologetic living. 
I also hope you're a year of less. Less caring about things out of my control, less worrying about what other people think, less wasting my time and words on things that don't matter. 
I am full of anticipation to see what you bring. I truly believe you're going to be a year of seeing dreams coming true. 
I am thankful for you already. 
Let's do this! 

Birthday Coffee Date!

via MHN
YOU GUYS. I turn 27 tomorrow! That feels weird. To quote my queen Taylor Swift, "part of me still feels 18 and part of me feels 283."
Of course, I am all sorts of introspective and day-dreamy about a new year of life. I'd love to sit down with you and have coffee and chat all about it. And if we were to do that, I'd tell you...
...I am more excited for this year of my life than any other year so far. I feel like there are incredible things on the horizon. I feel strong and ready and full of motivation. It's been a long time since I've felt like this, and it makes me so happy. 
...I'd tell you all I ever want for my birthday is new clothes. I want to shop and eat delicious food and lay in the sun. A few trips this week took care of the shopping part, and I got the cutest stuff. I also got an outfit that is way out of my comfort zone, but also feels 100000% me (does that make any sense?) and I'm kind of obsessed with it.  pants (so comfy!), top
...That 26 brought the best days and the worst days of my life. That it was broken and it was beautiful. That I feel like I'm more myself than I've ever been, but that every single bit of that was hard fought for this year. 
...That I'm treating 27 as a fresh start for nearly everything in my life. How beautiful of a gift that as I'm craving that, I get to start a new year. I'm counting myself lucky and taking advantage of my own personal new year.  I hope you have the best weekend ever! Eat some cake or sushi for me - calories don't count on your birthday, and I feel like that can definitely just extend to you. And to get just a little bit sappy...thanks for sticking through this year with me. Love you, mean it. xo

More Flamingos, More LaCroix, More Sunshine.

Today is my birthday! I tend to treat my birthday as a new year's day of sorts, with goals and reflection and stuff like that. I usually write a post about what I learned last year or what I hope to learn this year or my goals or dreams, etc, etc.  While I know life is so precious and every year is a rare gift, I'm not too sad to see the door shutting on 24. Much like we all seemed to feel about 2016, 24 was a doozy for me in a lot of ways, so I'm not too sad to see it go and get to start a new year.  24 brought me a new city that I love, a house that I love, some great new friends that I love. I got to spend 365 days with my new little BFF who turned into the coolest one-year-old there's ever been. It was a year full of new, good things. It gave me a lot, but I'm not sad that it's over. And I think that's a really good place to be.  As for 25, I hope it's full of more.  More flamingos. More LaCroix. More sunshine. More pool days and good books. More iced coffee. More sunsets, more vacations. More bright colors. More good movies and good friends. More happiness. More best friends and family time. More pure joy. More target runs. More beach days.  I hope you join me in having a really great year full of all of more of your favorite things. Because life is too short for anything else.  Note: I had to stop several times writing this because I couldn't remember if I was turning 25 or have already been 25 or if maybe I was turning 24? The year is off to a great start, guys. Cheers. 

24, I'm Coming For You.

Today is the last day in my 23rd year, and I'm actually feeling a little emotional about it. Not because it's over, but because of just how full the year actually was.

Some years feel short, flying by and handing you a new age before you've even found anything you like about the old one. But not this one. This one was long and full, and when I think about how different life is and how much has happened in the last 365 days, I don't even know where to start.

There have been birthdays and holidays and failures and successes. There were applications and then interviews and then Match Day. There were trips to different states and movie nights at home. There were rough waters that I didn't see coming and there was so, so much love.

Sometimes life gives you what you didn't know you needed, and it is enriching and illuminating and fulfilling. Other times, life gives you something you didn't know you wanted, and it is exciting and enjoyable and fun. And sometimes, in moments that rarely come along, life throws you something that is both.

This year was my both. 

Because 23 was the year that gave me Jack. My sweet, sleepy, snuggly, smiley little guy who completely turned my life upside down in the best possible way.

When I think about my birthday last year and all the things I wanted to get out of my 23rd year, I'm in awe of how much better my life is today than I ever could have imagined. It amazes me that it's possible to feel such fierce love for someone who I didn't even know was going to exist a mere 365 days ago.

So cheers to the next 365 days. To moving to a new city, to chasing new dreams, to staying wild and free and in love, to raising up a little babe to be a wild and free dreamer. Cheers to soaking up every single bit of life the next 12 months have to offer.

Cheers to 24.

This Year Has Pushed me so Far Out of my Comfort Zone.

My birthday is next week, and whenever it comes around, I always think about my year and all that has happened. When I think about the last year, uncomfortable is what comes to mind. It was a year that pushed me so far out of my comfort zone.

But...it was also the best year of my life. Funny how that works.

I had a pregnancy that was in no way planned by me. Uncomfortable. 

I lived alone for two months while Chris did his away rotations. Uncomfortable. 

I signed up to live wherever a random algorithm decided we were going to live. Uncomfortable.

I spent a lot of the year having no idea what the next month, let alone the next year, was going to look like. Uncomfortable. 

And plenty of other things. Stuff that I really never saw coming. I'm not one to label entire years like that, but really, the entirety of this one was pretty clearly uncomfortable.

But it was also the best ever. 

Having the happiest baby join our family and just fit right in? The best.

Finding out that hard work and sacrifice really does pay off, this time in the form of getting to live in Florida? The best. 

Waking up one day and realizing that I am truly in love with my life? The best. 

So I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes, life doesn't have to look classically "good" to be the best ever. Sometimes the best life ever comes from being pushed and pulled and spending quite a few days standing anywhere but your comfort zone. 

Every year before my birthday, I look at who I am and how that's different than it was last year. I have to say, I really like the version of myself that I became this year. I became more flexible. Less anxious. I became aware of the fact that I can do hard things. I became more open. More vocal. Less of a doormat. I became a mom. I changed in a few big ways and a thousand tiny ones.

I really love this version of my life. I love where my life is right now, and I love where it's headed. And I know that none of that would be the way that it is if I would have had a cushy, comfortable year.

All in all, I think it's a pretty good trade.

What good things have come from being pushed out of your comfort zone?

23: Magic & Dreams & Good Madness.

My birthday is tomorrow (yaaay!) and as always, I'm re-reading my favorite Neil Gaiman quote and hoping for a year full of all of these things.

This year, I hope to love more deeply and in every situation. I hope that above any other emotion or action, love is my first instinct.

I hope that my days are filled with magic and dreams because I choose for them to be. Not because I sit around and wait for things to happen, but because I get up, get to work, and make my own magic.

I hope that good madness comes around every now and then, because really--life is much too short to be boring. I hope to spend just enough time lost in books, and too much time kissing Chris, who, for some reason or another, actually does think I'm wonderful.

I hope this year is filled to the brim with art. With writing words and words and more words. I hope that this is the year my words start to pay the bills, but even if it's not, I hope that my year is filled with them just the same.

I hope to live every day in such a way that if everything came to a screeching halt and my life ended, that everyone who knew me would say, she sure got everything she could out of life. She used it for all it was worth. 

Here's to 23: To magic and dreams and good madness.

Here's to 22.

Here's to twenty-two.

Here's to celebrating with the same girls who stayed up late with you in college, dreaming about when you would maybe publish a book one day.

Here's to being married to your best friend and loving someone more than you thought was humanly possible.  To salty, windy beach days.  To laying in the sand and counting down the hours until you're a published author.

Here's to waking up at 6:00 on your birthday, both elated and panicked because a certain book is now available for anyone to read.

Here's to celebrating.  To way too much sun.  To family and cake and water way too cold to swim in.  Here's to dreaming and laughing and taking time to remember how good life really is. 

Here's to the twenty-second year of life that's turning out to be quite beautiful.  Here's to laughing and dreaming about the year to come. 

Here's to twenty-two.  To shopping and cocktails and getting caught in the rain.  To staying up way too late and getting up way too early.  To campfires and midnight movies.  Here's to ignoring fear and jumping all in.  Here's to following your dreams no matter what it takes.  Here's to the weeks of fancy dinners and to the weeks of Ramen noodle dinners. Here's to that beautiful place between success and failure.

Cheers to twenty-two.

PS: I'm thinking it's time for a new blog design!  Who are your favorite designers?