Speak it: This is Not Okay.

My first year of college, I took an adolescent literature class. For our final, we each had to give a presentation of a popular YA book. The quietest girl in class, someone I'd spoken only a handful of words to, was the last one to present. She had been given The Book Thief, a book about a young girl growing up in Nazi Germany.    As she began her presentation, she placed a giant black and white picture in the front of the room. It was gruesome and hard to look at...piles and piles and dead children, scooped up and pushed aside in the street, people politely walking around their bodies. 
She gestured to the picture, to the people who seemed so unfazed, and referenced the book, talking about learning about these things in hindsight. "What do you think you would have done," she asked, "If this had been your reality? If you had been around when this was happening?" This led to a class-wide conversation about standing up for the rights of others and speaking out against evil. Many of us made incredulous comments about how insane it was that the rest of the world stood by and let this evil happen for so long. We wouldn't have done that, we said confidently. 
"I'm glad you feel that way." She said, moving to the picture. She pulled it apart, showing they were actually two prints, not just one. "Because this picture was taken in 1946 in Germany, and this one," She gestured to the bodies piled up in the street. "This one was taken last week, in Iraq." 
I will never, ever forget the way that made me feel. I will never forget going back to my dorm and crying. I'd like to tell you that I cried because I was so heartbroken that those pictures were someone's current reality, but the truth is that I cried because I felt so stupid...how could I not know something so bad was going on? How could I not have paid any attention?
"We wouldn't have stood for that." We said. "We would have called it evil and not accepted it." We were sure. "We wouldn't just go about our lives, letting that happen." But would we have?  What's happening right now in Charlottesville is nothing other than pure evil (and if you think anything different, you need to examine the amount of evil abiding in your own heart). Call it what it is. Speak out against it in whatever capacity you have. 
This is not the world I want my son to grow up in. This is not what I want him to think is normal, just because this is the time and place he was born. And so I will teach him: This is not okay. This is evil.  I've seen a lot of different versions of the statement, "If you are wondering how you would've acted during Nazi Germany or during the Civil Rights Movement, look at how you're acting now." I agree. 
Speak up. Say it out loud. This is evil, and it is not okay. 
If you have kids, please, please teach them that this is not okay. That to hate someone because of their race is unacceptable. That it is pure evil.  Say it out loud. To your family, to your friends, to your coworkers. It's not the time to be quiet. 

If your heart is breaking today, if you are outraged and hurt...you're doing it right. 

susie & sally.

We live in a time where it's super easy to talk about people.
I think a lot of that has to do what we're constantly exposed to.  Stand in line at the grocery store for 30 seconds, and you pretty much have a list of negative qualities of every current celebrity right in front of you.  The news, the internet, people in general. . .all eager to spill juicy details of how someone has screwed up their life.  We're constantly exposed to these types of stories, and have even learned to be attracted to these details.
And really, how long can that go on before it starts making its way into your day to day life?

People are going to hurt you.  Be nasty to you.  Lie and say mean things.
And we live in a time where its just so easy to retaliate with some of our own ammo.
Hop on twitter and deliver your judgement on someone's character in 140 letters or less.
And since you didn't really say anything, you feel satisfaction without having to have confrontation.
[Side note: don't be a bully.  And if you just can't help but to retaliate, say your piece to someone's face, not online where everyone can see and add in on.  That's being cowardly and rude.  Stop it.]

Here's a thought:

What Susie says of Sally says more of Susie that of Sally.

In other words, what you say about someone else says more about you than it says about whoever you're talking about.

If we all honestly kept that in our mind when we spoke, we would all be a heck of a lot happier.

And really, do you want to be perceived as a crazy, frantic, mean, vindictive person?  No?  Good, then we're on the same page.  So I'll go ahead and give you a tiny bit of advice here.
There is a very fine line between talking about someone and being mean, vindictive, and--let's just say it--crazy.  And most of us don't even realize when we cross it.  In fact, we're usually miles from the line before we even think we may have gone too far.

I wrote a post a few months ago on how important your words are for the sake of other's.
But your words are also important for the sake of yourself.

Be careful what you say, because what better judgement could people make on you than a judgement based on the things coming out of your own mouth?

Do you want to be known as a loving person?
Speak in love.
Do you want to be known as a kind person?
Speak kindly about others.
Speak the way you want others to perceive you as. 
And remember that the words you speak say way more about you than they do about whatever you are talking about.

you are enough.

"Sometimes I really do hate myself"

"I wish I had a thigh gap"

"One day, I will look like _______"

"Why can't I just be better?"

These are all things I have seen on my twitter feed in the past two hours. 

It breaks my heart to see anyone, especially young women, be so insecure.

We live in a world constantly bombarding us with subtle {and not so subtle} messages on a daily basis.

Even if they are not verbally vocalized.

be skinnier. 
be stronger.  
speak up more. 
be quieter. 
be softer. 
be more tough. 
work harder. 
be smarter. 
buy this so you can be more ____.
be more like her. 
be more like him. 
you are not enough. 
you are not enough. 
you are not enough. 

Little whispers that constantly surround, mock, and overwhelm.
You hear them while watching TV, driving down the road, getting on instagram.
They are everywhere.
And they are lies.
I will say that again:
They are nothing more than lies. 

Stop buying into the lies that say you are not enough. 

You were fearfully and wonderfully made.
You were created uniquely, and with a purpose.
You aren't meant to be more like ____, you are meant to be you. 
There is no reason to chase anything else other than the best version of yourself.
Why?
Because you are enough. 

And when you don't believe that, you do the one who created you a major disservice.

Love yourself.
Sometimes it's hard.
And that's sad, because it shouldn't be.
But you have to love yourself.
Because there is one who loves you far more than you could ever imagine, and I think that it must absolutely break His heart to see that you don't believe you are enough.
To see that your time is taken up wishing you were someone else, striving to be different than you are.

Embrace who you are, for you were made that way for a reason. For a purpose.  For a destiny that only you can fulfill.

You are not merely okay. 
You will not do. 
You are not simply average. 

You are enough.
You are more than enough.
Live your life believing that, because you are worth it.
Because you are enough.

lies.

"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. 

The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. 

The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. 

Both are nonsense. 

You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate."

-Rick Warren

Today.

Today is a reminder that nothing in life is certain.

That life is short.

So hold the ones you love close, and tell them you love them often.

For there are families tonight that will never get that chance again.

And while you are living the life that you are still blessed enough to have, make sure that it means something.

Here's to you, Boston.  We stand with you.

Words.

Let me just start off by saying that never have I hated the internet and social media more than I have this month.  It just seems to offer a giant platform for people to say things they have not thought about, make claims about issues they have not researched, and jump on bandwagons that they have no idea what direction are headed in.

People lobbying for and against marriage equality, hurtful and unnecessary words exchanged on both sides.

People slandering the CEO of Starbucks and publicly boycotting the company {in the name of Christianity, no less} posting a fake article as their basis for doing so.

And so much more.

Let me just say this.

I love words.  Words are beautiful.  Words are a gift.

Your words are important.

No one else will ever be able to speak your words, so it is important that you speak them.

However. 

It is so incredibly important to think about your words. 

There are so many reason for you to consider your words before you use them, but I think there are two main reasons.

One:  Once your words are out there, you can never take them back. 

This is especially true on social media.  Sure, you can delete your post.  You can say you're sorry, or that you've changed your mind.  But you can never truly take back the words that you spoke, or the words that you posted.  They are out there to stay, and they are attached to your name.

Two:  You never know how your words are going to influence someone.  

You don't know who all looks up to you.  You don't know who will choose to believe your words as truth.  So consider them carefully.

Did you know that it is possible to disagree with someone's views without going crazy and dragging their name through the mud?

Did you know that it is completely okay to have an opinion and not tell everyone about it?

Did you know that it is possible to disagree with others in love, and not hate?

Did you know that just because you disagree with someone's beliefs, you do not have to use your words to berate them in anger?

Your words are important, and they matter.

Your beliefs are important, and they matter.

Both can be conveyed in love. 

Choose your words wisely, friends.  Because they will either bring help or harm, there is no in-between.

Let's talk.

Let's talk about loving Jesus.

Let's talk about being cool and fitting in.

Let's talk about showing others how we love Jesus.

Let's talk.

Here's the deal, friends.  My mom sent me this article this morning.  I love it.  I agree with it.  And unless you read it, this blog may not make a ton of sense to you.

It's okay, I'll wait here while you read.

Got it?  Wonderful.

I posted it on my instagram and received some comments that made me think about it a lot more.

Don't worry, I'm not going to rant about the article {even though I think it is fantastic} or insta-oppinions.

I want to talk about something else.

I think that culturally, we have been trying to change the message of Jesus, whether we realize it or not.

Trying to make it softer, make it cooler, make it more accepting.

Trying to make it fit in more--so it will reach more people, of course.

In doing this, we've gone as far as disengaging ourselves from something as pure as calling ourselves Christians.

We've picked which parts of the Bible will reach people the most, and we've left out the rest.

When the topics of gay marriage, or abortion, or unmarried sex come up, we tend to pretend the Bible doesn't have clear views on those things.

My aunt texted me after reading that article and said this:

"It's not our message to change to our personal beliefs.  

It's His message to share with others.  People forget that."

And I think, that maybe, we have. 

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" {Luke 10:27}

Love God.  Love People.

It's that simple.

Love God.

Love the things He has said.

The words He has left behind for you.

Love People.

Love them enough to tell them those things.

Love them enough to love them with full on Christianity, not with with a watered down version you've created for yourself.

Love them enough to be yourself around them, not a watered down version of yourself tailored to them and their feelings.

I believe in Jesus.  I call myself a Christian.

Does that mean that I agree and am linking myself to all the crazy people who have done horrible things in the name of Christianity?

No.

Does that mean I'm saying that I am affiliated with the ignorant people who want to burn the Koran and blame it on their Christianity?

No.

I mean, let's just put this into perspective.  I'm a female.  In the history of humanity, there have been some crazy females who have done horrific things, like murder their families.

So should I not call myself a female, because I don't want to be affiliated with them in any way?

Yeah, that'll do the trick.

I mean, really.  Come on guys.  If you follow Christ, YOU follow Christ.  It doesn't mean you follow every other individual who claims to follow Christ.  It means that YOU follow Christ.

I am by no means perfect.

I do not even come close to measuring up to the standards set for us in the Bible.

But that's why Jesus came for me, and that is why I happily claim His name.

When I say I am a Christian, I mean that I am a follower of Christ, and I will not apologize for that.

Nor will I try to make it something that it's not.

Yes, there are some churches out there with some seriously skewed beliefs.  I grew up in church and am fully aware of the backwardness and hypocrisy in some churches.

But let's not forget, Jesus calls the church His bride.

{So going to church is nothing to apologize for.}

A bride that He loved enough to die for.

Do not dishonor that by being ashamed of His name.

Do you know how you can make up for the ugliness of some churches?

By doing what Jesus has called us to do.  Love people with His love.  Share HIS message with them, not yours.

Love God.

Love People.

An unpopular opinion.

My friend texted me this morning with a question.

Should you throw a baby shower for an unmarried woman?

I gave her my opinion, one that I know I’m pretty alone in.

Yes, I think you should.  Because that’s the woman who needs support and love and gifts, because she’s going to be doing this alone.  And regardless of the circumstances, children are a gift from God, and don’t deserve to have a lesser life because of something their parents did wrong.

Then came the kicker.

What if it’s a married man’s baby?  He told her he wasn’t married, but he is, and it’s his baby.

Ouch.

I thought about it, and told her my answer was still the same. 

No, I don’t think you should stand up in front of church and say “hooray, we’re going to celebrate this!”  But that doesn’t mean you abandon her and throw her out on her own. 

Her response hurt my heart.

Try telling my church that.

Jesus came for the sick, you guys.

He came for the sinners.

He came for the broken.

And let’s be honest here:  if this woman had been having sex with a man that she wasn’t married to, realized it was wrong and was sorry, no one would have any problem.  She would be accepted and loved on, and even glorified for her testimony.  But because that resulted in a pregnancy, she’s an outcast.  A sinner.  Unredeemable.  When really, she did the same thing, merely the result was different.

Why is that?  Because sometimes, some of us get churchy.

And we put our churchy pants on.

And we don’t care about the sin.

We care about the appearance.

This isn’t about a baby shower. 

I hope that women of God will rally around this woman and her child and encourage her.

I hope they will pray for her and offer her friendship and assistance.

But this is about more than that.

This is about the fact that we seem to have forgotten that Jesus came for the sick.

We’re more comfortable sitting in church and organizing events and taking missions trips than we are with getting involved with people who are living messed up lives.

It’s easier to go to another country where people have never heard about Jesus and love on them than it is to reach out to people who have heard about Jesus and are living opposite of that.  It’s harder to love on them.

It's harder to love on the promiscuous girl. 

It's harder to love on the gay guy. 

It's harder to love on the intelligent atheist. 

It's harder to love on the one who knows about Jesus, but chooses to live a lifestyle of partying and destruction instead. 

It's easier to politely forget about them. 

To turn our head and cary on with our church business and just leave them alone. 

Sin is messy.

It is ugly.

It is not pristine and clean.

That’s why Jesus had to come.

And, hello, if you’re confused about how to reach out to people living in sin, take a look at Jesus’ life and how He lived it.

After all, we’re supposed to be following that example, are we not?

Or have we sacrificed that too, for the sake of a pristine appearance?

When was the last time you befriended someone living in sin?

And just rolled up your sleeves and wallowed through the mud with them?

When did you last grab on to them and promise to not let go, no matter what?

No matter how messy it got

No matter what other people thought

No matter how it made you look

No matter how frustrating it got

Until you had shown them the unconditional love of Jesus that was so graciously given to you?

That, my friends, is what it’s all about.  

Kony 2012, Slavery, and Quitting.

Every January, my news feed on all forms of social media is filled with statistics about slavery.  This is largely due to the Passion conference that takes place at the beginning of January, where many people learn gut-wrenching facts about modern-day slavery.   While the people vary, the words are pretty much the same:

This is an outraged! 

How could we as Christians just turn a blind eye to this?

Write the president! 

Go on strike! 

Stop buying this brand, because it supports slavery! 

We can make a difference! 

We can make a difference! 

We can make a difference!

Do you know what happens to these outcries by February?

They are gone. 

Remember Kony 2012?  The campaign with the tagline, "Stop at Nothing!" How many people blew up facebook and twitter and went on midnight raids of their towns to put up posters and stickers because they could not stand the thought of the horrific injustice that was taking place at the hands of Joseph Kony?  Well, it may not be 2012 anymore, but last I heard, Kony is still out there.  There are still mass amounts of suffering and violence because of him.  But when was the last time that you stayed up all night raising awareness for this issue that you were so public loud about merely a few months ago?  Or, better yet, when was the last time you even prayed for those affected by this situation? 

The answer to that should make you a little bit sad. 

Stop at Nothing! Yet, we stopped. 

Those are just two examples, but the list of issues Christians become outraged about, only to let die off a few weeks later, could go on and on.

Slavery.

Abortion.

Homelessness.

Orphans.

Clean water.

We can make a difference!  We can make a differnce!  We can make a difference!

Except, we don’t. 

Why is that?  Why do we do this?  Why do we become so obsessed with something that for a short time, we act and feel as if we could dedicate our whole lives to a cause?

To be blunt, we do it because it’s the popular thing to do.  It’s easy.  When thousands of other people are mad because of injustice, it’s easy to join them.  We just hop on the bandwagon and wow, does our voice sure seem loud when it is in chorus with all these other voices!

The problem is, very few people actually take action on these subjects.  Instead, they take to social media and conversation and t shirts and bumper stickers.  And do you know what happens next?  Of course you do, because you've done it many times. 

You quit.  You give up.  You become silent.  That is, until the next social issue comes along, and then you pipe right back up again.

Why?

Because it becomes uncomfortable.  It is no longer easy.  Your voice doesn’t seem quite as loud anymore, once others are silent.

It is not easy to pray for those in slavery everyday.

It is not easy to have to constantly think about your actions and your purchases like you said you were going to.

It is not easy to think about the thousands of homeless people who will go hungry tonight while you are going out to eat for the third time this week.

It is extremely uncomfortable to bring up abortion when it’s not popular to, and no one else is talking about it.

It can be awkward to think about how many people die from not having clean water when you are taking a thirty-minute shower.

So better just stop thinking about it.  Better just go back to living life like you’re used to, and only focus on the things around you.  It’s better that way.

Do you know what this makes you look like to the rest of the world?

Again with the bluntness: It makes you look stupid.

And lazy.

And hypocritical.

Why would anyone want to be a part of a group of people who are all talk and no action?  Let’s be honest, when we act this way, that is exactly what we are making Christians look like. 

Please stop doing this.

Do not learn about an issue, tell everyone you know that this outrages you, that God has stirred your heart and that God is going to use you to change things, and then quit. 

If you are going to quit, please leave God out of it.

At the same time, if God stirs your heart about something, do not quit!  By all means, blow up social media.  Write the president a letter.  Tell everyone how you are going to change the world.  But follow through on your words.  God can use you to change the world, but only if you choose to not quit.

Do.  Not.  Quit.

Even though we can sure act like it does, The Bible does not say, “God is pleased with this: raising awareness for as many possible issues as you can.”  Instead, it says this:  “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” (James 1:27)

Notice those are not words.  Those are actions. 

Don’t quit.