Forty-Four Weeks with Jack: All of the Pictures.

Week Forty-One:

we went to visit the park in my hometown for the first time // we got you some shoes so you could use your little zebra outside // it's been chilly enough to wear your fuzzy pajamas out and about // we dressed you up like a pumpkin // and of course, took you the the pumpkin patch.

Week Forty-Two:

your first time flying! four flights in 24 hours, you are a champ // you didn't know the airport wasn't your own personal playground // you've nailed the "no pictures, please" look. 

I'm loving our cool morning walks // your first time trick-or-treating! // Chris and Gatsby are your best friends...wherever they are, that's where you want to be // holding your bottle with your hands is overrated.

Week Forty-Three: 

We took you tailgating with your little stuffed gator // doing our civic duty and voting! // you recognize yourself in the mirror now and it's adorable. // your fancy church outfit on the day you went to the nursery for the first time! 

the morning after the election...I was so tired, you were not // I will never get tired of all these sweet smiles. 

Week Forty-Four:

just two buds, trying to figure out how to escape to the backyard // your hair is getting so long and crazy and I love it so much // you're so happy after a nap // sometimes you just bounce yourself right to sleep

The nights where you still fall asleep on me are my favorite // so cute in your big guy pjs // just reading some Aesop's fables // you love love love to be outside. 

Who knew forty-four weeks could feel so long and so short?

What November Has Taught Me.

I usually post these at the end of the month, but I think we can all agree that this has already been an incredibly full and eventful month. It's already taught me quite a few things, like. . .
Being hateful isn't pretty, no matter what you're standing up for. Right now, there are a lot of hateful words and actions being flung around. Some people doing this are actually standing up for really great things. Some are standing up for things that I don't agree with, but that they passionately believe. But it doesn't matter what they're standing up for, because all anyone can see is the ugly, distracting hatred. And hate doesn't ever make a good difference. It just doesn't. 
If a presidential election is good for one thing, it's the memes. The Biden & Obama friendship memes are the best thing on the internet right now. 
Life gets hard. Sometimes you need to put on some rap music and handle it, sometimes you need to put on Netflix and take a break. I think a big part of being an adult is learning to tell the difference. Sometimes, like when you're sick or haven't slept, it's just not healthy to push yourself to get in a killer workout and stay up all night getting stuff done. But sometimes, when you're just in a bad mood, it's not healthy to sit on the couch for three days watching TV and convincing yourself you need a break. Sigh. Adulting...it's hard. 
Think before you speak. 

Or tweet, or post. I have this rule of thumb that I try to think about when saying things that may be controversial or saying things when I'm angry: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me right now? Now...when it comes to things that I shouldn't have said, 90% of the time I just didn't get past the first question without answering myself, Nope and I don't care because I'm saying it anyway. BUT, that other 10% has probably saved me from a lot of embarrassment. 
What has November taught you so far?

Coffee Dates & Haircuts.

Let's have coffee. Because I'm really excited to show you my new hair cut. I finally got the chop and I have zero regrets. In fact, I think it was just what I needed. Pros: Takes ten seconds to get ready, and also Jack cannot rip my hair out by the handful anymore. Win-win. See ya, three day old top knot. 
If we were having coffee, I'd ask you if you're already celebrating Christmas. I don't like to celebrate Christmas before Thanksgiving (because hello, Thanksgiving is wonderful), but it would appear that the rest of the world has decided Thanksgiving doesn't matter this year. I went to Target on Halloween and it was fall-fall-fall. I went to Target on November 1st and Santa had arrived. Hmmmm. 
If we were having coffee, I'd ask what your favorite part of Thanksgiving is. Or if you're dreading Thanksgiving. I know cooking and making family plans can stress a lot of people out. I hope you're not dreading it this year. I love Thanksgiving. The food, the parade, the traditional feel of it all. Thanksgiving is different this year because of our crazy schedule, but I still love it. It's the last big hurrah of fall, and it's my favorite. 
If we were having coffee, I'd ask about your favorite graphic tee shops. I want to give Chris some ideas for Christmas. I pretty much own all of Target's already. Etsy is overflowing with them, of course, but I want some recommendations. 
If we were having coffee, I'd ask you what you've been reading. I'm in a giant reading rut. I just finished a mystery that I stuck out until the end only to hate it. Last month I read The Woman in Cabin 10 and loved it, and everything since then has been a flop. Send some good ones my way! 
So tell me! About Christmas, about Thanksgiving, about books. And if you've been wondering if you should cut your hair, the answer is yes. Just do it. xo

Letters to Jack: 10 Months.

Jack, 
I have a very strict rule about not celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving, but I walked into Target with you last week and pushing you past all the decorations and trees made me emotional. I joked that it was because you've made me weak (you have, you totally have), but it's really this: You make every single day better. The thought of us spending my favorite month celebrating my favorite season with you...it just seems as close to heaven as we're ever gonna get while we're down here. 
In less than two weeks we'll be celebrating your first Thanksgiving, and you're the perfect age for that because you're eating more and more food. You're going to be thrilled with a holiday that is made up of meals. 
This month (your first presidential election!) has made me think a lot about all the important things I want to teach you. Honestly, I'm glad you're young enough that you don't understand what people are saying yet because there's a heck a lot of hate being thrown around lately. It just reminds me of how important it is to instill love and kindness into you. I hope you feel so surrounded by those things as you grow up.
In a month where a lot of things have gone wrong, you have been the brightest spot. In a month where there has been a ton of negativity in the world, you have been the happiest ray of sunshine. I think every single month will just be made up of me being surprised by you, being surprised by how much more I love you, and thinking about how lucky I've been to get to spend that month with you.
Happy ten months my tiny love. I love you to the moon and back, you little munchkin. 

Let's Force Some Thankfulness.

November usually feels like such a thankful month. We just had a month full of fall goodness, Thanksgiving is this month, and Christmastime is looming so close. But the last ten days haven't really felt full of gratefulness, probably because of the election. Election years seem to bring out the worst in everyone. Twitter and facebook are just plain mean lately, even though it's a month that's usually so full of family pictures and dinner parties and thankful hashtags. 

Sometimes (like the holidays, for me) thankfulness comes easily. You don't even have to think about it. And sometimes, you have to dig in and force your perspective to change. The more you focus on the good in your life, the happier you will be. Plain and simple. So let's get down to it. 

I'm thankful for Jack. I know, I know, so obvious. But just thinking about how thankful I am for him makes me realize how good life is. I wrote yesterday about all the things this election has reminded me I need to teach him, and it really just reminds me how much of a privilege it is to get to shape another human's life. 

I'm thankful for the things that are in my control. I may not have control over when I get to see my husband (#residency), or how much sleep I get at night (#jack), but I do have control over things like how I spend my days, how good I feel (love you, yoga), and what's for dinner. Tacos for dinner three nights in a row? Heck yes I can. 

I'm legitimately thankful for Instagram. Social media gets a bad rep with bloggers sometimes, because looking at other people's pictures can make you feel less-than, or like you're not doing enough or aren't successful enough. This is especially true with mamas. And sure, I sometimes feel that way. Like, I was feeling pretty good about myself for getting my kid dressed and fed and eating breakfast myself, until I saw that you somehow had time to get you and your babe dressed in magazine worthy clothes, contour your face, take your baby to a quaint little cafe for breakfast, and get the perfect Instagram picture, all before 9:00AM. 

But it can also be encouraging and motivating and helpful. Sometimes I'll be at a loss for what foods to feed Jack, and then I'll see someone recommend mixing two things together. Hey, maybe Jack will eat that. I'll see someone having a picnic in their backyard and letting their baby just crawl around in the sunshine. I could totally do that. It would be so easy and so fun. I'll see the blogger who works full time but still manages to come home, chug some coffee, and pound out some posts after work. Ah, yes. It's so important to chase my dreams. 

I could go on and on about this. The mom who's up in the middle of the night letting her toddler eat chicken nuggets and watch Netflix because he just won't sleep. Solidarity. I am not alone in this. I'm not a bad mom. The fellow resident's wife who hasn't worn makeup or cooked dinner or done dishes all week, because it's just really freaking hard to be in charge of everything. Solidarity. I am not alone in this. I'm not a wuss for thinking this is hard. 

And on, and on, and on. Cheers to the people with the perfectly curated feeds, you inspire me. Cheers to the people with well thought out, funny feeds, you make me laugh. Cheers to the people with messy, real life feeds. You make me happy. 

I'm thankful for the time change. What?! It's true. I usually HATE the time change. And, okay, I still hate the fact that it gets dark at what feels like 2:45. But I wake up so early now, and it's nice to see the sun instead of hours of darkness. It's harder to be productive when it looks like the middle of the night outside, you know? 

Please oh please tell me something you're thankful for. Let's all force a little thankfulness today.

I Will Teach You.

Well, my friends..it's over. November 8th has come and gone and (even though it took approximately 87,413 years), election season is over. We have elected a new president. While I'm sure the majority of us are glad that it's finally over and we can now go back to (hopefully) all being friends, we all feel different ways about the outcome. Some of us are happy, some are terrified. Some are confused, 
This year, my vote meant so much to me. I spent a lot of time looking up everything on the ballot. Because, even though it feels like we spend >1% of time talking about this, there are a lot of other things to vote on than just the President. 
So I researched everything. The Amendments that were up for vote, the people running for Sheriff, the county questions on taxes. It was so important to me to clearly understand who and what I was voting for, and the reason was simple: Because it matters to me what kind of world my son grows up in. He may not get a vote yet, but I did, and I wanted to cast my vote the best I could for him. 
He woke up to eat around three-thirty this morning, and I caught up with the final outcome while he ate. As I put him back to bed and kissed him goodnight, I thought, You know, it's still my motivation. The votes have been counted and the decisions made, but I still very much care about the world he grows up in. 
And as I laid back in bed and scrolled through tweets and news stories and celebrations and devastation, I thought about where this leaves me as a mom. And the answer is very simple. It leaves me in a position to teach him a lot of things. 
I will teach him kindness. 
I will teach him love. 
I will teach him to respect women, and that no matter how many things in life tell him otherwise, they are his equal. 
I will teach him peace, for blessed are the peacemakers. 
I will teach him that we are all equal, no matter our race or religion or sexual orientation. 
I will teach him to stand up for others. 
I will teach him that it's important to stand up and fight for what he believes in, no matter if his voice falls in the majority or the minority. That his beliefs are worth fighting for. 
I will teach him, I will teach him, I will teach him. 
If you are a mama, I hope you spend some time today thinking about the kind of America you want you children to grow up in. Because no matter the president, your children will hear your voice the loudest. 
And if you're not a mom, I hope you still think about it. Because children are not the only people we have an obligation to teach with our words, our actions, our lives. We teach our friends. Our neighbors. Our coworkers. 
We have a new president. That's done. It's over. But today, we go right back to real life, with our kids and our friends and even strangers watching us. What will your life teach them? 

Fall with my Little Munchkin. AKA, The Season Where my Heart Explodes Daily.

Fall has always been my favorite (okay, next to Christmas), and looking back, I have loved fall so much during each season of my life. When I lived at home, fall was always fun. I get my love of fall from my mom. She's the Martha Stewart Beyonce of seasonal decorating. We always had the best decorations and traditions. 

Fall in college was so much fun. Going shopping for boots and plaid scarves, drinking entirely too many pumpkin spice lattes with my roommates (PS, did you know my very best friend is a girl who I got randomly roomed with in college? Thanks, life). 

Early married life fall was so much fun. We started our own traditions, like fall dates and our own personal Thanksgiving. Chris may not share my over-the-top love of fall, but he loves me, so over-the-top fall celebrations it was. So I've loved my lifetime of falls so far. Every one has been so much fun. But this year...

This year I can hardly even think about fall so far without getting emotional. (I'm a wimp, okay? Motherhood has made me weak). Because this year has been beyond perfect. 

This year, we have a house and a backyard and a cute little firepit, perfect for cozying up next to with a pumpkin coffee. This year, we live in this wonderful little town where Halloween is more about pumpkin patches and festivals than about going out and getting free shots. 

This year, I have this overwhelming feeling that we all know, though not nearly well enough. The feeling of, "Yes, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be." 

Logistically, this is not a perfect season. Chris is still in intern year and still works the most insane hours. In October, the month of all the fun Saturday events, he worked every single weekend. And I feel like the last two months have had their (un)fair share of sadness. But still, when I step back and look at this fall, it's absolutely perfect.

Because this year, we have Jack. 

Baby Jack, who is getting to experience fall for the first time. Jack, who loves pumpkins just as much as I do. Jack, who doesn't care that things aren't logically perfect. Jack, who's just the happiest little pumpkin there ever was. Who is an instant day-brightener and just full of love and curiousity. 

I am so, so tired. Yeah, I'm stressed out most days (working on it!) Sometimes I cry over nothing (again, weak). But at the end of the day, I am happy more than anything else. And I would call this little life of mine perfect. 

I've said it before and I'll probably say it a thousand more times: Not only is Jack everything I never knew I needed, he is everything I never knew I wanted. 

On Halloween night, Chris got off early enough to take Jack trick-or-treating. Our neighbor gave him a pack of M&M's, and he was so happy to just hold them and shake them. I thought about taking them away, but he was having the best time, and they were sealed, so what's the harm?

We got a few streets over and I turned the stroller around to take a picture of him...only to find him covered in blue. His face, his tongue, his hands, the top of his costume...all sticky and blue. This little sneak had chewed right through the package. 

I could have gotten irritated that he got his costume dirty blue before I could get a picture. I could have worried about how much sugar he might has ingested. But instead, I showed Chris, and we just laughed. 

Because this life is messy. But it is so, so good.