Love You, 2018: Part 5

According to my phone's camera roll, part five of 2018 looked a lot like...

...baby naps on the boat.

...trips to Cedar Key.

...walks around the neighborhood with Jack actually walking instead of riding in his stroller.

...lots of outside time (before the 8,432 days of rain came).

...dinners at Lucky's, where Jack wanted to sit at every table except his own.

...belated birthday celebrations with my best friends.

...going to Grill's for lunches where you can eat in your bathing suit (the best kind of lunches).

...celebrating Mother's Day with this little ham.

...celebrating my best friend for passing her teaching exam.

...getting tacos with my two bffs. Side note: Jack literally lept out of my arms when he spotted that brownie on the counter.

...silly baby selfies.

...Jack playing with his new bff, Nora.

...discovering a new acai bowl place.

...eating giant watermelons.

...Gatsby being ridiculous. 
What did this month look like for you?

What May Taught Me.

To focus on the things that are in my control. I'm pretty sure this has been on a "what I learned this month" list before, so obviously I still have more to learn about it. But I thought a lot about it this month. I'm the kind of person who can drive myself crazy thinking about all the things I have absolutely no control over. And how stupid is that? What a way to waste a day, right? I'm working on focusing on all the things I can control, and trying to just roll with the punches for the rest. 
To be the best version of myself. I wrote about it here. I'm working on changing my perspective to focus on this, and it's been really amazing. 
That I crave experiences. This is how I like to spend my money. I want vacations and trips and memories. I want to go to dinner not because I don't want to cook (I mean, I probably don't want to cook), but because I want the experiences of sitting on a patio and laughing and talking over food. It doesn't bother me to drop a lot of money on vacation and have to pinch pennies for the rest of the month, because I want to make long-lasting memories of sitting on the beach and eating nachos while my babe laughs and plays football. 
That as much as I love a good to-do list, I don't need to live and die by them. I had a lot of things to do on Thursday, but the sun came out for the first time in what felt like forever. So I took Jack to the pool, and we stayed there until the rain came back. This meant the dishes didn't get done. I didn't catch up on laundry. Emails went unresponded to. And you know what? It was every bit worth it. If I had judged the day by how many things I marked off my to-do list, it would've looked like a failure. But in reality, it was anything but. 
What did this month teach you?

My Favorite Things I Discovered in May.

This flamingo water bottle. It was $3 in the Target dollar spot! I can't find it online to link to it, but it's still at Target. 

Macadamia nut milk. I fully credit this (and also my stubborness) for being able to quit sugary creamer so fast. 

Lucky's. I discovered Lucky's Market this month and hello, heaven. HOW have I lived in Gainesville for two entire years and never ventured into this magical place?! There aren't a ton of things I refer to as life-changing, but Lucky's is one of them. 

Chocolate coconut coffee. Discovered at Lucky's. 1) It's delicious. 2) I told you Lucky's was life-changing. 

This bralette. I actually bought this two months ago and it fell out of the bag and has been under my seat since, only to be discovered a few weeks ago. But it's so cute! It's so comfy, lined enough that you can wear it as an actual bra without giving somebody a show, but cute enough (and covers enough) that it can peek through without looking sleazy. 10/10. (I got the peach beach floral pattern). 

Magnesium. I wrote that I'd been taking melatonin and a lot of you guys told me how bad that was for me. Some of you recommended magnesium instead. I bought some and it's been doing the trick! Plus, no insane dreams or nightmares, which is a big win. I will say it takes longer to work, so I try to drink it about 45 minutes before I go to bed. 

What fun things have you discovered this month?

The Best Version of Yourself.

This is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. I touched on it a little bit here, and have been mulling it over all week. 
There's an overwhelming amount of things I think we could all agree we should strive for: Being healthy, being a good friend, being a good employee, being a good parent. 
There are things that we could probably all agree that are good to strive for: Keeping your house clean, eating things that are good for you, responding to emails on time. 
I'll tell you this for sure: There's no feasible way to do everything (or to even try to do everything) that everyone thinks is good for you to do. 
But there's one thing we can all do, and it's a really good place to start:
You can strive to be the best version of yourself. 
The best thing you can be is the best version of yourself. Not the best version of someone else. Not a compilation of traits you admire from people you look up to. But the best version of you. 
I don't know why this has been such a lightbulb moment kinda thing for me, but it really has been.
When you're not trying to be authentically, fully yourself, you're way more susceptible to not feeling enough, because your focus is going to fall on others and the ways you admire them, but aren't like them. Comparison is a lot less of a weapon when you're working to be the best you. 
This is something new I'm trying, so I don't really have any advice to write out in bullet points here. But we can try it together, yeah?
What does the best version of me look like physically? Mentally? Spiritually? The happiest me? The most alive me? 
If we could be the best ourselves have to offer in these areas, or even in one of these areas, I think we'd be in a much better place, don't you? 
You are a really, really amazing person. Cheers to being the best version of that person. 

Just a Reminder That You Are Alive.

Someone said this to me a few days ago, and it really shifted my perspective. So I wanted to pay it forward and pass it along to you too, just in case you're like me and need someone to hit you with some truth every now and then. 
If you are reading this, you are alive. You are living and breathing. You are still here, on this earth, living out a life. 
Chances are, it is not a perfect life. Chances are, it probably isn't even close to perfect. You probably don't have a career that fulfills you daily, or a picture-perfect relationship. You probably have had more trials and issues that you ever would have chosen for yourself. 
But. 
You are alive. 
When something happens often, we tend to start to take it for granted. Since every day we wake up is a day we're alive, it's easy to stop recognizing it as an incredible thing. It's easy to stop thinking about what a marvelous chance each day is. It's simple to just fall into monotony, day in and day out. 
But. 
You are alive. 
I'm saying this to myself just as much as I'm saying it to you: Please, please, please view this as the precious gift that it is. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Stop worrying about things that won't matter a month from now. You are too precious to waste your time like that. 
You are alive. 
What a gift that is. 

Things I Believe in This Week.

That willpower + stubbornness are a pretty powerful combo. || We're now TWO (and a half!) WEEKS into the whole no sugary creamer situation. This might seem like a small accomplishment to you, but I assure you, it is not. I also assure you it has been accomplished sheerly out of stubbornness to prove to myself that I could do it. Because it feels really good to put your mind to something and decide to stick to it, and then actually stick to it. 
Breaks. || Coffee breaks, book breaks, walk-around the block breaks, sit and stare at the ceiling breaks. When you're busy, taking a few minutes and some deep breaths can make all the difference. 
Supporting the heck out of the people in your life. || My dad called me last week to tell me that he liked a blog post of mine. One of my friends texted me this week saying she was proud of me. One of my best friends is sad about going back to work after her maternity leave, so I sent her flowers. All the simplest actions, all mean so much. Life is hard, but feeling supported by the people in your life makes it so much better. It doesn't have to be big gestures or take a lot of time. Just be supportive!
Summer. || No matter how old I get, summer always feels like a bit of a break from real life. Adventure and pool days and fresh watermelon, does it get any better? While Florida may be in the middle of a rainy week (OVER IT), I'm still feeling the excitement and overall happiness that summer brings every year. I love it so much. 
What do you believe in this week?

Coming in Live: Thoughts on Being a Mom.

I love a good live blog. I woke up way too early today and Jack is still sleeping peacefully sprawled all over my personal space, snoozing away next to me, so it seems like a perfect morning to type one out. 
I was sitting in the bathroom the other day while Jack splashed around, laughing. He's at an age where he's big enough to want to give himself a bath, but not big enough to be left alone in the tub. It's easier for me, it's harder for me. He loves baths, so I spend a lot of time sitting on the bathroom floor, watching him be amused and enamored by shampoo bubbles in a way that only a two-year-old can. 
Anyway, I'm sitting on the floor when I have this thought-becoming a parent is one of the few things in life that takes one single moment and instantly changes all of the rest of your moments, forever. 
I became a mom and, suddenly, every single moment after that was filled with Jack. My Tuesday nights are filled with the same things-workouts, group texts, cooking dinner-but they're also filled with sitting on the bathroom floor, making sure he's safe in the bathtub. Even when I'm not with him, he's still changed my moments-I'm in charge of leaving him with someone responsible, of checking in, of eventually going back to get him. 
It's exhausting. 
And fun. 
And joyful.       And terrifying. 
And hilarious. 
And exhausting. 
Someone asked me the other day, "Do you enjoy being a mom?" And I found it hard to answer. Not because I didn't know the answer, but because it has never occurred to me as a question. It felt like someone asking me, "Do you enjoy being female?" Or, "Do you enjoy having been born in America?" Things that just are. I just am. 
From the moment Jack was born, I became his mom. I just am his mom, always. No matter where I am or what I'm doing. 
I get a lot of comments about how it's cool that I don't let being a mom be the only part of my identity. That I do things other than only "mom things." And while that's true (and I think so important), in everything I do, I'm his mom. 
I just am. 
I think a big perception of becoming a parent is that suddenly, you are just a parent. Your identity becomes singular and the list of things you can't do anymore becomes long. But that's not true. You are everything that you were, everything you want to be and a parent. 
My identity didn't shrink to just one thing, it expanded in everything I already was by double. 
I think that's pretty cool.