Why did a 25 year old mother of 5 have to lose the love of her life so soon? What possible good can ever come of that? and How can we call a world where 50 people are slaughtered in the name of what someone believes in good? and Can life really be beautiful when it's filled to the brim with tragedies, like that sweet little babe being killed by an alligator right in front of his parents?
I wrestle with these questions. I wrestle with wondering how the world I fall in love with on a daily basis-the one that offers sunshine and pool days, the one with the sweetest friendships and family, the one with pumpkin spice lattes and giant dreams-can be the same world that offers up such terror. I wrestle with wondering how God could let these awful things happen.
I wrestle with trying to understand how tonight, I'll get to eat dinner with my best friend and my littlest love. I'll fall asleep in a house, so thankful for how full my life is. All the while knowing that my sweet little babe will grow up in a world that seems to have more than its fair share of ugly.
I know there's a time for mourning. We honor those who have been ravaged by tragedy-by cancer and terror and just sheer chance-with a time of sadness. But sometimes life feels so hard and so heavy that it seems that no period of mourning can ever be long enough to do it justice. And when you only get one life-one short, terrible, beautiful life-how do you make sense of that?
The answer to all of my questions is both incredible simple and incredibly frustrating: I just don't know. And perhaps even more frustrating and final-I will never, ever know.
I know that sometimes life is hard. And sometimes life is beautiful. And we have to grab a hold of the beautiful moments.
We live in a world where we get both summertime and heartbreak, campfires and terror, sunflowers and gut-wrenching sorrow. It is beautiful. It is terrible.
I'm thankful for the beautiful moments and perplexed by the terrible ones, and while it leaves me in confusion, it also leaves me knowing what I want to fight for.
It leaves me knowing that I have to fight hard for thankfulness. That I have to fight hard for love.
Life can be awful, the past few weeks have shown us that. The world can be ugly. So I want to fight for the beautiful moments.
For the ones filled with laughter. The ones where you go to sleep that night completely exhausted from a day just so full of life. The days spent in the sunshine, the nights spent by a fire, the mundane things like a trip to the grocery, made special because of who you're with.
I want to fight for the magical moments, the ones you couldn't possibly make yourself, but are made by spending time with the people you love the most.
Because in the end, all we really have is each other and our memories, you know?
I was also totally heartbroken to see that he passed. I've been following her on and off for years. :(
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful and heartbreaking. The bad things just make the good days so much sweeter, don't they?
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of these same questions. It's hard to reconcile it all, but I also kind of like that I don't have to have all the answers but I can trust that God does somehow, even if I can't understand.
ReplyDeleteI don't follow that blog, but I clicked over there and just felt my heart shatter for that family. The highs and lows of this life utterly confuse me. We'll never know why. I think there's serious comfort in knowing that someday this world will be a memory and we'll all be celebrating in a place that is nothing but good :)
ReplyDeleteMy heart is absolutely breaking for her.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said...we have to hold on to life's beautiful moments! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston
ReplyDeleteAnother wonderful post. You just take the thoughts and put them out there in such a lovely way that really hits home.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post. There is beauty in everything, even the tough moments and tragedies, they just cloud our vision with sadness temporarily so we can't see it. Poor thing, my heart breaks for her and her loss.
ReplyDeleteThis was a beautifully written post. We do have to fight for and hold onto those precious beautiful moments in between all the madness. xo
ReplyDeleteYou're right. It seems so unfair when bad things happen to good people (it's the title of one of my fav books) but the world doesn't owe us anything. Life is a gift, not a right that God owes us. I struggle with that but I know it's true. Last week, a friend of mine died suddenly too. She was taking care of her elderly parents and it feels wrong for her to be gone. But we have to enjoy and take advantage of every moment we have. Be grateful for every opportunity. And do all we can while we are here.
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Chelsea, I swear you take my jumbled up thoughts and feelings and make sense of them all. All of those things have been weighing so heavy on my heart lately, and the world that I once saw as beautiful is spotted with specks of dirt. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that maybe I wouldn't see or really appreciate all of the good if I wasn't reminded by the bad? Great post.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. I think the one thing I've learned from the past few weeks is life isn't fair and it's too short Nothing in life is guaranteed and we all need to live each day to it's fullest. My heart goes out to Emily and her family. <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes
ReplyDeleteChelsea, you & your family are so blessed! Not just with material things, but with things you can't even see (not yet, anyway.) Enjoy every moment, whether you can see or touch it or play with him or work on projects with him, or having those beautiful fires in your backyard with your whole family, or just whatever! Enjoy it all & take in all the memories while you are making all of these memories! God is Great & He's going to keep on blessing you & He will see y'all through! We love & miss y'all so much & everyday there's more to be proud of! Love you, girl!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm thankful for the beautiful moments too, especially with all the sad events happening around us these past few weeks. My heart is breaking for Emily who I also don't know personally, but I can't even imagine the pain she's going through. Hug that amazing husband and precious baby of yours a little tighter tonight <3
ReplyDeleteGreen Fashionista
This:
ReplyDelete"I wrestle with these questions. I wrestle with wondering how the world I fall in love with on a daily basis-the one that offers sunshine and pool days, the one with the sweetest friendships and family, the one with pumpkin spice lattes and giant dreams-can be the same world that offers up such terror."
So very true and I feel this so much. As I've aged, these horrible events affect me more and more. I feel so saddened. I just clicked to read the link of the girl's loss and my heart broke even further. Beautifully said and my thoughts to that sweet family.
GREAT Post
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This post brought tears to my eyes for so many reasons. First, I was also heartbroken when I read Emily's story. I've been following her for a little while now (mostly for hair tutorials) and to see how devastating life can be leaves me at a loss for words. I can't even begin to talk about Orlando and what those families are dealing with. I am saving this post and sharing :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to make sense of all the bad in the world, especially with everything that has happened lately. My heart also broke for Emily and her sweet children.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. I feel the same way often and don't understand it, wondering if I ever will. I have to take heart in the moments of joy and beauty and trust in God that while I don't always get His plan, somehow it all has a reason and purpose. Beautifully Candid
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post, Chelsea! I think we've all probably had similar thoughts here lately, but we have to focus on the good in the world and choose to show kindness even when not every situation yields it. Thanks for sharing this message :)
ReplyDeleteIt truly is all so heartbreaking! Sometimes I just want to curl up and cry!
ReplyDeleteSo heartbreaking :(. Such a reminder that we need to
ReplyDeleteFight for our families and relationships. They are the most important !
I follow her blog off and on, and that utterly breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it. Been feeling exactly the same lately, glad I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. My heart breaks for Emily's family and all of the other families who are grieving from these horrific events. So sad.
ReplyDeleteThese are big questions friend. Life is hard. I don't have answers for today except that Jesus is here. And that Jesus made a promise that one day he is coming back and righteousness will reign and I find a lot of comfot in that.
ReplyDeleteEmily's story broke my heart too. I've been following her blog and social media channels for a few years now and have been regularly checking in on her blog in recent weeks. My heart goes out to her and their beautiful children.
ReplyDeleteThis post almost brought me to tears because I think it was yesterday that I posted a photo on Instagram and started to write about the beautiful world that we live in, but I ended up changing it to visually beautiful world we live in, because our world isn't always a beautiful place to be. But I'm with you. I want to fight for beauty and love and all that's good.
I totally agree. Life can seem so dark and depressing at times. You start to look at the world around you in a negative light and when you do, all you see and hear is mostly bad. I went through that phase not to long ago where I just felt like I was in a funk for weeks and weeks. In a world filled with so many people, I was overwhelmed by negative media, racism, hate crimes, terrorism, etc. All these sad stories can definitely build up and having a lasting effect on you. My advice is to keep your head high and focus on the positives in life. Let the bad be a reminder that tomorrow is never promised, and to always live in the moment. Cherish each day.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a poignant and timely post. I've been following Emily's story here and there, as well as all the tragedy that just keeps coming up in the news lately. It makes me afraid for my little guy, and my unborn baby - what kind of world have I brought them into? And moreover, how will I protect them from the hate, the fear, the senseless ignorance and violence? I read a post about a three-year-old girl who was standing on her toilet - when her mom asked why, she said she was practicing her school emergency drill, for when you were in the bathroom and someone dangerous came in. What kind of world is this that three-year-olds need to know that?? The hope that gets me through is the hope that we will see God more clearly through all of this. It can make us question him, or embrace him even more. I can't say I always embrace him, but the misery in this world that people put people through makes me need all the more to believe that there is a greater purpose and power, a loving God who hates to see tragedy happen as much as we do. And of course, embracing the beautiful moments that always seem to be there to encourage and inspire us when we need it! Perfect post, girl!
ReplyDeleteI love this- I'm sharing it on my weekend links on my blog (thefullestlifeblog.com). I hope you don't mind- It is such a great reminder.
ReplyDeleteWhat compassionate heart you have, Chelsea. Bless your beautiful soul.
ReplyDeleteMy heart broke for Emily as well. I have been following her story and was so sad to see he had passed and so young. Then the things in Orlando, ugh, so awful. Awful doesn't even touch it. Thankfully we have our amazing families and things to be forever grateful for.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteI think that when we are faced in situations that make us question life and cause a wrestle within our hearts and spirits, the best thing to do is release the fight.
Take stock and look at what is around us and how there is still good. Entwined with the bad there is always so much to smile for.
Zoe xx