Yesterday, we spent the afternoon on the rooftop, hanging out with Jack. We pulled some seats close to each other, wrapped Jack up in a blanket, and just soaked up the warmer weather. And it felt so, so important.
We weren't doing anything that any to-do list would have classified as important. We weren't discussing our rank list for match (which is due in like two weeks, so expect the panic attack any day now), we weren't cleaning or studying or working or replying to emails or any of that other grownup stuff...we were just hanging out. We were enjoying warm sunshine and sipping cold drinks and looking up funny things on the internet and hanging out with our new babe and just being a family.
And it was important. I
needed to just sit there and do nothing. To enjoy the fresh air and relax with the love of my life. To take a few deep breaths and snuggle my little man in the sunshine.
Jen Hatmaker posted this on
her instagram a few weeks ago, and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since:
"As you move into 2016 hoping for a saner schedule that prioritizes your actual life and keeps you focused on the things that matter the most, let me share the decision-making filter my agent Curtis always gives me: "If it's not a HELL YES, then it's a no." So that medium yes, that I-feel-like-should yes, that guilty yes, that coerced yes, that I-actually-hate-this-thing yes, that I-guess-so yes, that who-else-will-do-it yes, that careless yes, that default yes, that resentful yes, that I-probably-shouldn't-but-struggle-with-boundaries yes?
NO. Nope.
No thank you. I am unable to commit to that this year. Thank you so much for asking, but any new yes I give right now means a no to my family and sanity. I am so flattered you asked and count on my prayers, but I am at my maximum bandwidth right now. I appreciate your work so much, but I've already committed my time and energy this year. I've loved being a part of this, but I am no longer able to continue. We are aggressively focused on x, y, and z this year, so as a family we've agreed on no new commitments. This is what I can give but won't be able to do more right now.
Now, the things that make your heart race, your blood pump, the fire in your belly burn, your gifts to leap to life, and keep your family and home healthy and strong...the hell yeses? ALL IN, BABY."
Would it have made sense to anyone else if I had told them yesterday that sitting on a rooftop was the most important thing I did all day? Probably not. But that doesn't matter.
Maybe it's becoming a mom, or maybe I'm just growing up and caring less what people think, but I've been thinking a lot about just how much we do because we feel like we should, like it's supposed to be important, and how much we miss out on because of it.
So here's to saying no more often. To saying no to a mundane life that you just don't want, or to saying no to the life that has become too fast-paced for you. Here's to saying no to spending time with people just because you feel like you should. Here's to saying no to all the responsibilities you've taken on that aren't yours at all, you've just made yourself feel like they are.
And here's to saying yes more. To saying yes to spending your time with your favorite people. To ordering pizza for dinner when you're too tired to cook. To going on spontaneous adventures and shutting the laptop off while you do so. To saying yes to the important things.
Sometimes, the most important thing you will do with your day will be big and life-changing and you will remember it forever.
And sometimes, the most important thing you will do is sit on a rooftop, doing nothing with the loves of your life.
Only you know what's really important right now. And only you can say yes and no to the right things to make the important things happen. So do that!
Wishing you a month full of no thank you's and many, many big, important, strong, passionate yeses.
