Three Years of Marriage.

What. A. Year. 

The third year of marriage was nothing like I expected, but it was the best so far. There were lots of ups and downs, lots of good times and bad times, lots of in sickness and in health. Most of all, there was teamwork-we're a team when it's time to work through the hard things, and we're a team when it's time to celebrate the good. 

I know that in the grand scheme of things, 3 years of marriage may not seem long enough to be significant. But for me, it's already been a lifetime of adventure and learning and growing. A lifetime of building a life with my very best friend. 

December 29th will always be a favorite day of mine, because it will always be the day that we changed our lives forever. The day we became a family. The day we chose each other. And we've been choosing each other every day since. 

Being married to you is my greatest adventure. Happy 3 years...cheers to many, many more. 

Christmas & Love: Six Christmases of Forever.

Six Christmases ago, I spent December 22nd panicking about what to get Christopher for Christmas. What do you get someone you've only been dating for six months but are also pretty sure you're in love with? I turned to my dad, who is the gift guru:

"You can't go wrong with sentimental. Pictures, a scrapbook, something like that." 
"Um, is six months too soon for a scrapbook?" 
"Nope. He'll love it." 
"Mmm, is it going to scare him away if I literally hand him a book of our relationship and he gets me movie tickets?" 
"Chelsea, stop talking and make a scrapbook." 

So I did. And it is to this day one of my most treasured belongings, because we have the earliest moments of our relationship recorded, and I have the sweet memory of being terrified to give it to him on December 23rd, when we celebrated Christmas together.

Five Christmases ago, I was absolutely in love, but there was no ring on my finger. There were no plans, only dreams. I made up a scavenger hunt and we spent December 23rd driving around our hometown, taking pictures and exchanging gifts and kisses.

Four Christmases ago, December 23rd brought me the best surprise of my life in the form of Christopher down on one knee and a promise of forever. Each time I opened a gift on Christmas morning, seeing the shiny diamond on my ring finger overwhelmed me with happiness and thankfulness.

Three Christmases ago, I was a little preoccupied, because I was getting married four days later. We had decreed it would be a day of no wedding talk so that everyone could really enjoy Christmas, but my mom and I exchanged glances all day.."Oh, you KNOW what's coming." 

Two Christmases ago, I had one of the best days of my life. For the first time, I woke up on Christmas morning in the same bed as the love of my life. Opening presents and snuggling with our tiny little fox before visiting my family with my new little family...my heart had never been so full.

Last Christmas, my heart was even more full than it was the year before. Every Christmas song I heard, every peppermint mocha I drank, every time I plugged our tree in, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness that this was my life. The good and the bad, the sweet and the hard, it was all mine. And as I celebrated that year, in a tiny apartment in the sky, with my best friend and our tiny little fox, I was so full of joy. "Um, I think that I might love you" five Christmases before brought me such an incredibly full life.

This Christmas, I'm overwhelmed by how much can change in a year. That the boy I made a scrapbook for on our first Christmas together has moved from boyfriend to fiancé to husband to baby daddy. Christmas feels so full this year. The music, the decorations, the presents under the tree, the movies...it all feels so full. Not because it's the most put together Christmas we've ever had--because it's not...baby has made me sick and miss out on some of the normal Christmas cheer--but because I've never felt such real love as I have this December. The thought that this will be the last Christmas just the two of us has made me cherish every moment, even the hard ones.

This year, we're not only counting down to the most magical week of the year, we're also counting down the days until our little guy decides to join us. This year-the most unexpected, insanely shocking year-has brought me to a place of being more full of love for our life than I knew was possible.

When I was wrapping gifts our first Christmas together, I was so nervous and excited to give them to Chris. On my drive home that night, I was so happy. I actually remember thinking, "It just doesn't get any better that this."

This year, wrapping presents (from bed, because my overly giant belly doesn't really allow me to sprawl out on the floor anymore), I thought of that night six years ago. I wish I could go back in time and share with my seventeen-year-old self a glimpse of all that's coming. And I'd tell her, Oh, but it does. It gets so much better.

Because it just doesn't get any better than this.

How many Christmases have you been with your significant other?

What Marriage Means to Me.

I think you can tell a lot about someone by what their view of marriage is.

Some people hate the idea of marriage and think that it would squash their goals and dreams. Some people think marriage is the best, and can't wait until they meet the right person to become their spouse. Some people are married and treat their marriage like a burden that they just had to settle for. The list goes on and on, and I love hearing people talk about their opinions and thoughts on such a big thing.

With the crazy last couple of months and how full of transition this next year is going to be, I've been thinking about what marriage really means to me.

To me, marriage is being on a team. It's having a teammate in life, and having someone to cheer on.

It's having someone who is always on your side, no matter what. It's loving someone so much that you are always on their side. Chris and I disagree so often, but at the end of the day, I know he's always on my side. I may think he's being a complete idiot about something and just know I'm right, but I will forever be on his side. It's just how this works, and it's beautiful.

It's building a life with your best friend. From the big moments, like moving somewhere new, to the small moments, like sorting the laundry...it's all with your best friend.

It's the security of knowing that no matter how badly you mess up or how many people turn their backs on you, there is someone who is still going to love you and be on your team.

Through the twists and turns, it's having someone right beside you. To roll with the punches with you, to nod when you look over and say, "I did not see this one coming." To walk through the good and bad with you, through the mundane and the unexpected with you, through the good decisions you make and the terrible choices you make.

It's never being alone, even when you are.

I was having lunch with an engaged friend not too long ago and she was talking about some relationship issues she was having, and she said, "I mean, if it works out, great. If not, I'll be fine." When I said I couldn't imagine feeling so flippant over something as big as a marriage, she said, "Yeah, but it's different. You love Chris. Like, you're really, really in love with him still."

You should marry someone that you love. That you're really, really in love with.

I would not be fine without Chris. And that's okay. I think it's kind of taboo to say that, because we're supposed to be strong and independent and not need anyone.

It doesn't make me weak, it makes me in love. I'm in love with Chris. I'm in love with the life that we have together. I'm in love with my marriage, because of what it means to me. I'm in love with having a partner in life. It is the greatest gift I've ever been given.

So to me, my marriage is my favorite. It's the best. I couldn't imagine life without it.

What does marriage mean to you?

Happy to be Alive, Because: Liars & Anniversaries.

1.  My friend Katie reviewed my book on her blog.  Such an honor to have someone write about my book who had no obligation whatsoever to do so!

2.  Remember this post from last year?  It'll be eight years on Sunday.  I'm so excited to celebrate!

3.  Speaking of years, this Monday marks five years since I started dating Chris.  It's so weird, I feel like it's been way longer than that and I also feel like there's no way it's already been five years.

This is what true love looks like, folks.  Santa hats and elf ears.  And no, it was not Christmas. 

4.  I read We Were Liars this week.  And I actually don't know if this makes me happy or not.  Has anyone else read it?  If so, you know what I'm talking about.  Either way, it was exceptionally written.

5.  It's Friday, I'm off work, and I'm going to spend the entire day making new products for my shop.  Hello, perfect day.  I can't wait to launch this new stuff, I'm super excited about it!

So tell me!  What made YOU happy to be alive this week?

Two Years Ago Today.

On this day, two years ago, I was getting ready to celebrate Christmas with Christopher.

He came over to exchange gifts and was in such a rush that he didn't even look past page two of the scrapbook I made him...I'm sure you can imagine how that went over.

He gave me a Betsey Johnson cocktail dress and glitter shows--two of my favorite things in this world--and told me I should wear them to dinner.
Also, that said dinner was in 45 minutes.
Also, I had not even showered yet.
Also, my house was about 30 minutes from where we were having dinner.

Again, I'm sure you can imagine how that went over.

20 minutes later, with half-straight, half-wavy hair and severely damaged nail polish (why is is that every time I paint my nails, I think, oh, I'm sure they'll dry faster this time!") we got in the car and headed to dinner.

Except that Christ told me he felt bad for rushing me, so he had called and changed the reservations and now we had plenty of time.

It was one of those moments where you try to decide if silence or screaming is the best choice.  I settled for telling him to turn the car around and let me finish getting ready.  He said no.  So we went to watch the sunset at our favorite place where he had taken me on our first date two years before.

When we got there, he told me to close my eyes because he wanted to go ahead and give me a Christmas present.  Then he made me get out of the car as he handed me what I could tell was a stuffed animal.  I laughed, because if anyone was driving by they definitely saw me stumbling around clutching a stuffed animal.  They probably thought, Well someone celebrated Christmas a little too hard. 

And then I opened my eyes to find tiki torches and rose petals and a penguin with the words, "Will you marry me?" stitched on the scarf.

And right there, in front of the same swing on the river where we had watched the sunset on our very first date, Chris asked me to be his wife.

I hear a lot of girls explain their engagement as, "the biggest surprise of my life!"  Or, "I'm so shocked right now!"  And that wasn't true for me.  Yes, I was surprised.  My sneaky boyfriend had lied and told me he was losing his job to keep any thoughts of an engagement far from my mind.  But when it happened, I didn't feel shocked or overwhelmed or any of those crazy things.

I felt right.  I felt perfectly right.  Like, of course.  This is what should happen.  This is right.  This is the one for me.

And that feeling has never gone away.

Life has been easy and it has been hard.  Things have gone great and things have gone not so great.  I have had questions and I have stressed and I have worried, but I have never once thought, wait, this isn't right.  And that is something that I hope never stops overwhelming me with happiness.

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