Thankfulness.

In my life, I've found that the cure for stress, sadness, not-so-great circumstances...well, that cure doesn't really exist. Sorry. But, I have found a really good way to combat those things, and that's with thankfulness.

You have to focus more on the good. It doesn't make the bad go away, but it does shift your perspective. And sometimes, that's all you need.

This week, I'm stressed. Tired. Worried. Confused. And there's not really anything I can do about those things.

But I am also so very thankful.

I'm thankful for days spent crafting. For surprise rooftop dinners. For the summer weather that seems to be back. For weekends that aren't full of to-do lists. For a snuggly pup. For days when writing comes easy.

It's just so important to take time to be thankful. Because do all of those things make bad circumstances go away? Nope. Do they change anything? No. Thankfulness may not have the power to change situations, but it has the power to change me.

And this week, it definitely did.

On Wednesday, Christopher came home and surprised me with dinner. We went up to the roof and he set the table with candles and wine. He grilled burgers. And we sat up there laughing and talking and just being together. I'm so thankful for moments like that, where you stop worrying and thinking and stressing and just be. And when I take the time to actually stop and think about how thankful I am for that, how can I ask for anything else?

Thankfulness changes you. It really, really does.

What are you thankful for this week?

The (Im)Perfect Here & Now.

Being present is something that's so hard to do, yet it's gained a lot of popularity lately. Living in the here and now is so important, but it's kind of become a fad, making it seem like it should be easy, or that everything will work out perfectly if you just do it, because so many other people are talking about it.

It's like baggy jogger pants--they became so popular, so surely they must be super flattering on everyone, right?

Nope.

Living in the here and now is not easy. Being present without worrying about everything that needs to get done is actually really hard. Contrary to the popularity of the subject, choosing to live in the present will not take care of all your problems. Everything will not magically fall into place and get done because you choose to put down your cell phone and just live in the moment.

Don't be in the here and now because it's perfect, be in the here and now because it's imperfect. It's full of imperfection--of unfinished to-do lists, of missed deadlines, of messy kitchens--but that's what makes it real. That's what makes it life. A life full of perfectly curated moments wouldn't be a life at all. The imperfection is what makes you really, truly alive.

Be present because it's the best time. Because it's the worst time. Because you are young, because you are old, because you are alive. Because you are here, and that's real.

Your kitchen will still be messy. Your deadlines will still be looming. But if you live here, today, exactly where you are, you will be living your life. You will be getting the most out of your life. It won't be anywhere close to perfect, but it will be real. And that's almost even more beautiful, yes?

Do you struggle with living in the here and now?

just write: great escape.

sweet like when the summer
first kisses your skin,
for the first time since December
you feel happy again.
so why don’t you pack your bags
and let’s just get away
before it gets any colder
we can make a grand escape.

Do You Regret Getting Married So Young?

I've blogged before about things you hear when you get married young, and those still ring true. But now that I've actually stayed married for more than 72 days, there's been a new question added to the mix. 

Do you regret getting married so young?

While I think people should probably use their manners and never ever ask questions like this, I'm more than happy to answer them with a big, fat no. 

Every so often, I go through what I refer to as a mid-life crisis (though I hope I'm not halfway through my life already!) It's usually just something like wanting a tattoo or wanting to chop all my hair off or change some things in my life, but sometimes it actually feels like a crisis. One where I question all of my life choices, ever, and wonder what I will ever be able to do with my life with an degree in English.

Talking through these things with a best friend over coffee is great. But talking through them with the same person you'll be with ten years from now is fantastic. I know that no matter what, even if I have made ALL the wrong decisions and everything falls apart, I will still have someone on my team. And there just aren't even words for that.

I crave adventure. All kinds of it. I want to travel and see all sorts of places, of course, but I also want adventure here, now, at home.

It's fun to plan the future, to dream about all the trips we want to take. But it's also fun to just hop in the car and go exploring on a Tuesday night. Adventure can mean Australia, but it can also mean trying that new taco place across town. When it's with your best friend, it's all adventure.

We make the big decisions together. Where are we going to live? What's the first car we should buy? This part of life is full of those questions, and it's nice to have a partner in making them. When you're both planning on sticking together for awhile, it tends to make you want to make each other happy with the big decisions. Also, I sometimes don't make the best decisions under pressure. So it's nice to know that I won't have to explain to a future spouse why I own a house in my college town and drive a neon pink car.

We really are growing up together. I am an adult, living an adult's life, but I still feel like I have so much growing up to do. And I think I will probably feel this way for a long time...maybe forever. Sure, getting married young isn't for everyone. I'm sure there are people who maybe do regret it. But I don't. Having someone to do this with..to make the bad decisions and the big decisions, to go through the hard times and the best times and the let's-just-wing-it-times, there's just nothing like it.

I've read countless articles about things you should make sure you do before you get married, and I haven't done most of them. But I know I made the right decision, because when I read these kinds of lists, all I want to do is make plans with Chris.

Because once you've met the love of your life, backpacking through Europe without them just doesn't seem like fun at all.

just write: ocean dreams.

the ocean’s full of secrets, 
so salty from our tears. 
it’s full of bitter, broken dreams
swept off to better years.

when you lay your dream down
and choose to walk away, 
the ocean sweeps it out to sea
to make sure it stays safe.

until one day, years from now, 
you’ll visit the sea once more. 
you’ll have grown and changed in many ways
and won’t be as you were before. 

so when the waves lap at your feet
and you don’t feel so blue, 
that’s just your old dream that the ocean
is bringing back to you. 

10 Struggles Every Taylor Swift Fan Knows to be True.

1. It does not matter that I don't even have a CD player anymore, I WILL be waiting in line at Target for this one. And the next one. And all of them. The year will be 2042 and I will STILL be waiting in line so I can read the lyrics booklet.

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2. We do not judge her dating choices. Too young? Too old? Everybody makes mistakes, OKAY? She's gotta get new song material from somewhere, geeze. Don't be petty. Until they break up, obviously, and then pettiness is necessary. Like, we're still mad at Joe Jonas. And dear John? BYE FELICIA.

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3. I need to get married or pregnant or something so I can send her an invitation to my shower. And even if she's too busy to come, she can send me a water color painting that will basically seal our friendship forever. Yep, time to have a baby.

4. *Casually stops listening to Katy Perry.* I will throw shade at Katy Perry in normal conversations, and if you are team Perry, well, it was a nice friendship while it lasted. 

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5. Every song has two alternate titles in my head: One, the person's name who it's actually about, and two, the person's name who I sing it in my car about. Oh look, it's the Style/Harry/Josh song!

6. I want wild and curly hair. Actually, I want super straight hair with blunt bangs. Oh wait, short hair. I want short hair.

7. Obviously I'm excited that her big announcement was her new album, but also just a little bummed that it had nothing to do with her releasing her own clothing line so we could all look like dolls. Is that coming soon? Please? 

8. Okay, so I'm more of a dog person, but maybe I need a cat? 

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9. Life goals: To be able to pull off one of her crop-top looks at least once in my lifetime. 

10. There's nothing like Taylor moving to New York and releasing an album that is not entirely about boys to realize it's time to GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER DANGIT. Your twenties are not for messing around, they are for getting your crap together. Well, and also eating breakfast at midnight and falling in love with strangers. Okay that's confusing....and happy/free/lonely at the same time...just a miserable and magical life over here, guys. 

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Spending March: A To-Do List for Adventuring Through the Month.

1. Get that haircut you've been talking about forever.

2. Make a list of all the not-so-fun things you need to do in March. If you start now and spend a few minutes a day on them, they'll be done in no time.

3. Handwrite a letter. 

4. Download the blogilates app. Because bathing suit season is upon us, my friends.

5. Watch Parenthood from the beginning. 

6. Start planning a road trip for summer. 

7. Practice your iced coffee making skills. 

8. Download an audiobook. Instead of turing on the radio on your commute, listen to a book.

9. Buy some spring-colored nail polish.

10. Go through your closet. You know all those clothes you didn't wear last summer, or this winter, but are still in your closet? Let 'em go.

11. Wake up 15 minutes earlier than you normally do. And have an extra 15 minutes to spend on yourself.

12. Buy yourself some new workout clothes. Nothing inspires you to work out quite like looking cute while doing so.

13. Make an outdoor bucket list. Picnics? Concerts? Yes, please.

14. Write a poem. 

15. Adopt a puppy. 

16. Pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line. 

17. Make green cocktails.

18. Work on being present. Leave your phone alone every now and then.

19. Delete your old emails. 

20. Have a night where you make your favorite meal and watch your favorite movie. Bonus points if you turn your phone off, too.

21. Find a drive-in. Or a park that plays outdoor movies!

22. Get a cute water bottle or tumbler. And drink more water!

23. Pick one of your resolutions you're not doing so hot on and work on it this month. 

24. Secretly give someone a gift. The dollar section at Target is just full of fun things to secretly leave on someone's desk!

25. Plan a trip to the beach. Your favorite beach...or any beach! Don't let the warm weather months pass you by without swimming in the ocean at least once.

26. Wear flowers in your hair. At least once. But let's get real, now through September is prime hair flower-wearing time.

27.  Write book reviews for all the books you've read this year. 

28. Go to Sonic. Because eating cheese tots and drinking a cherry limeade with your feet hanging out the window is lunch-break bliss.

29. Go see a movie premiere at midnight.

30. Learn a new card game. 

31. Enter to win a tiny Polaroid camera!

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