just write: standing tall.

stand tall you've so much to be proud of stand tall  and bold and brave and mighty and proud. don't hide your scars (please don't hide) but wear them proudly as you stand tall, tall, taller still reaching for who you were always meant to be,  climbing steps that wouldn't be possible without those scars.  stand tall. proud. bold. brave.  full of scars.  full of worth.  stand.  //

there is something to be said  for getting back up  over and over and over again.  there is something to be said  for standing tall again  no matter how many times you've fallen.  there is something to be said  for looking forward when every voice is yelling to look back.  there is something to be said  for you. 

just write: 26.

to all the wins and losses  that have filled your year,  to every burst of laughter  and every bitter tear.  to each mountaintop victory where the views took your breath away,  to the nights spent in the valley  where the darkness did the same.  you grew braver, you grew stronger  with every single one that passed and you became a warrior  that through every storm will last.  //

I want you to know that you are enough and I hate how those words don't do that truth justice.  because it's true, it's so true.  the person you were created to be,  the person you've become through every hard day,  every heartbreak,  every betrayal you just knew you wouldn't survive... that's the one.  the one who is enough. 

just write: new year's thoughts.

think of last year of all it brought you.  the people you didn't know the year before who you can't survive without now.  the nights you got to dance through & the laughter you got to share & the places you went & the lips you kissed & the hope you felt & the things you saw  all in the span of one year.  it was hard, maybe but it was good and full  and it shaped you.  remember that, when this year gets hard (as it almost certainly will): that while it may be hard it is also full & giving & shaping.  always shaping. 

it's not too late to start over  the second, the seventh, the twelfth of next month all perfectly good days to start fresh.  but please don't feel like you have to.  start over, that is.  you are good, here, now. just as you are. 

you don't have to let go  if you are not ready.  a page turning, a clock ticking, a calendar flipping none of it means you have to let go.  it's okay that you still need to work through that thing & it's okay that you can't stop thinking about them &  it's okay that you're not ready to say, "it's okay" quite yet.  all of these things are a part of you of you, just as you are, right now. & you don't have to let go of any piece of yourself  unless you are ready. 

it really is amazing, when you think about it.  the fact that you woke up today.  all of the things last year that could have killed you  but didn't  all of the ways the world could have broken you  but didn't  all of the times you could have given up  but didn't.  it really is amazing  so allow yourself to be amazed.  you did it. 

just write: just quite yet.

there are places you haven't seen yet that are going to become a part of you &  there are people you haven't met yet who are going to become pieces of your soul  &  there are battles you haven't conquered yet that are going to turn you into an incredible warrior  &  there are nights you haven't danced through yet that are going to make you feel alive & there is food you haven't tasted & dreams you haven't dreamt  & joy you haven't felt  & lips you haven't kissed  & parts of yourself you haven't met just quite yet. so I know that it is incredibly dark right now, but I need you to hold on just a little longer. because there are sunrises coming  that are going to light up your whole world.

just write: everything you are.

do not you dare shrink back 

from everything you are

your soul is a roaring ocean 

and your eyes are burning stars. 

you are magic, you are stardust

made from the best things that exist

so don’t you dare cut yourself apart

simply to fit in. 

do not you dare apologize 

for being loud, or brave, or true

for doing so robs the universe

of the one true precious you.

just write: seven letter lie.

you are not perfect; anyone who has told you so was a liar.  but they were also blind,  and did not look closely enough.  if they had, they would have seen you and seen that your so-called-imperfections  are what make you incredible.  the crinkles around your eyes from years of laughing and the chip in your tooth from that one time that one summer and  your stretch marks from when you grew into yourself and your anxiously-bitten nails because you care so much and  your laugh that is so loud, so different that strangers must turn around to look at your joy and  your splotchy birthmarks and  your frizzy hair and  your sometimes-stutter and  how tears spring to your eyes over any emotion.  perfect?  what an insult.  what a lie.  you are a vast ocean of imperfection and anyone who has been lucky enough to watch your waves crash knows you could never be summed up in that  seven letter l i e . 

On Creating.

I'm in the middle of reading listening to Big Magic and oh my goodness you guys, it's a must-read. I was listening to it while I was packing yesterday, and definitely cried just from the sheer fact of hearing someone so perfectly explain how I've felt pretty much my whole life. She talks about the relationship between creativity and fear and the need to create, to be writing. 
She writes, "I often don't know how I feel about something until I write about it." Yes, yes, yes. 
I love writing. I love words. I truly believe that words have the power to change the entire world. And sometimes, they do. Sometimes you write and the words you create touch someone deeply. Sometimes, they don't. Sometimes the words you write are just for you. But you have to keep creating. 
I think creating comes in all shapes and genres. It's not always artistic. I think that everyone has their one thing. The thing that breathes life into them, the thing they feel they were just made to do. For Chris, his one thing is surgery. He'll spend 18 hours on his feet and be covered in all sorts of awful gunk and come home feeling awake and ecstatic and alive (he's a lot like Christina Yang, y'all). 
For me, my one thing is writing. Writing everything. And because of that, I don't think my blog will ever fit into one little niche. I'm a mom now, so I need to write about that, but I don't want a mommy blog. I'm a wife, so I need to write about that, but I don't want a marriage blog. I'm moving, so I need to write about that, but heavens knows I'm not about to have a home decor blog.
I need to write about it all, because writing is my one thing. And much like Elizabeth Gilbert, I often don't know how I feel about something until I write about it. 
So I guess I just wanted to say: Create. Do your one thing. Do it without worrying if it is going to be life-changing. Do it without worrying that it doesn't fit the "brand" you're trying to have for yourself. Do it without wondering how many mistakes you're making. Do it without the pressure to be perfect, to create the next product that goes viral on Etsy, to write the post that gets shared thousands of times, to get promoted faster than anyone else. Just. Do. It. 
Write because you need to. Become a doctor because you need to. Paint because you need to. Run because you need to. Build because you need to. Go back to school because you need to. Create, create, create, create. 
Because you need to. 
What's your one thing? 

just write: because of you.

there's power in believing
the world can change because of you,
but it can be overwhelming
when you're not sure what to do.

and so you sit and talk about
the things that break your heart,
but you never try to change them
because you don't know where to start.

and while the thought of failure
is enough to make us all a little shy,
is there any good in thinking things can change
if you never even try?

just write: life's great secrets.

I think that you might know the answer
to every time I've wondered why,
because you smile like you are holding
life's great secrets deep inside.

I'm desperate for some answers,
grasping at any I can find.
I promise if you tell me how to smile like that,
I'll lock the answer safely up inside.

just write: giving away a broken heart.

she told him life was ugly,
that it was harsh and cold and cruel.
she said to look for beauty in this world
simply meant he was a fool.

she told him nothing really mattered,
that the world had gone to hell.
she said even if she didn't break his heart,
it would be broken by someone else.

she shattered him and walked away,
and he never saw her again.
but he kept close to his broken heart
the lessons she taught him.

and when he met someone new,
he knew exactly what to say.
he told her life was made of magic
and there was beauty in each day.

he decided he would share happiness
with her right from the start,
for he knew that only you can choose
how to give away a broken heart.

Ps: Please understand I may be a bit slow in getting back to you as I'm either about to have a baby//currently having a baby//have just had a baby. I wanted to keep things going on my blog, but it may take a bit to get back into the swing of things since I'm, you know, bringing a human into the world and all. xo

just write: merely skin and bones.

she wasn't just a person,
to him she was much more.
she wasn't merely skin and bones,
but a universe to explore.

and so he put his faith in her,
though somewhat undeserved.
he just knew that she would save him,
for she knew he needed her.

but she couldn't save him,
nor did she even try,
because she wasn't quite aware
of the way he felt inside.

and as his view of her grew dim
and quickly changed back to bones and skin,
he learned a person is merely a person
no matter how much you hope in them.

just write: a helping hand.

he simply handed her his coat, 

and just like that, she was warm again. 

sometimes the answer isn't some grand solution,

but rather, just a helping hand.

just write: too bright to see the stars.

I learned to wish on airplanes

in a city too bright to see the stars. 

if there’s one thing that you’ve taught me,

it’s to look for magic wherever you are. 

so tonight I’ll use this flying wish

and hope that it comes true. 

I’m just asking this airplane

to bring me back to you. 

just write: sweet glances.

I remember when we first met
and the way you'd look at me,
like I was the only one in the room
and the prettiest girl you'd seen.

I keep memories of those sweet glances,
I lock them safely up inside,
because the way you look at me
has slowly changed with time.

but it's nothing to be sad over,
for I can't quite tell you how,
but being seen as pretty is nothing
next to the way you look at me now.

just write: like playing cards.

I can still picture it

after all of this time,

how you’d share with me your secrets

as I would tell you mine.

and we’d lay upon a rooftop

trading secrets like playing cards

as we stared into the sky

hoping to see a shooting star. 

I think of you sometimes,

when a star is on the move.

I’ve heard you’re doing better,

and I hope that’s really true. 

I know that I’m no longer there,

that you’ve found someone new.

I just hope that she is someone

who you can tell your secrets to. 

just write: a treasure trove of wealth.

how silly it is to think
you're made up only of yourself,
when you and I both know
you are a treasure trove of wealth.

you are a priceless french mosaic,
a small piece of every soul you've ever met.
your heart is a vintage roadmap
of every place you've ever left.

your imagination is constructed
of every story you've been told,
the way you feel towards others built by
every hand you've tried to hold.

so when you look at your reflection,
know it's not just made of you...
it's everyone you've ever loved
and the ones who've loved you, too.

just write: the brightest stars.

sometimes when a perfect season

is coming to an end, 

it's hard to feel excited 

when you can't see around the bend. 

and so you try to cling to 

the quickly fading light, 

and hold on tightly to the past,

afraid to see the night. 

but though you feel the sun is setting,

know you've nothing left to fear.

for the sky is always at it's darkest

when the brightest stars appear. 

just write: street by street.

sometimes you long to go back
to the place from which you came,
but once you finally make it there,
you find it isn't quite the same.

and no matter how you try to fit
into old homes with your old friends,
the times of fitting in those places
have clearly come to end.

so street by street you drive the town
until you become much more aware,
it's not the place you miss so much
as who you were when you were there.

just write: here + now.

don’t worry about tomorrow,
for it may never come.
we can raise our cups to yesterday,
but it’s already gone.
let’s just focus on today,
no matter how hard it may be.
I kind of like the here and now,
because here and now has you and me.

just write: all I'd want to see.

I'll wait outside your window
for as long as it may take
we've already wasted too much time
and made plenty of mistakes
if my life were to flash before my eyes
you're all I'd want to see
so I'll wait outside until you come down
to spend forever with me