Chase it Anyway.

I was reminiscing this week about the first year Christopher and I were married. We lived in a two bedroom apartment, which, in comparison to the studio we've been living in, seems huge. We used the second bedroom as an office and both had desks in there. His was clean and organized and professional, mine was messy and creative and usually covered in some type of glitter.

Nights and weekends were time off for me, but since there's not really a lot of time off in med-school, we spent a lot of those times in that room. Him studying, me writing. We would stay up late-he would study infectious diseases, learning symptoms and medicine and the like, and I would plan stories and plotlines and characters' names. We were both burning the midnight oil, chasing our own dreams in our own ways.

I don't have a desk anymore.

It was one of the things that had to go when we moved to our downtown studio.

When I got pregnant with Jack, late nights spent throwing caution to the wind and just dreaming and creating without any other responsibilities...well, those had to go, too.

Two years later, almost nothing in my life looks the same-including what chasing dreams looks like. Two years ago, it looked like late nights and free time spent at a glitter-covered desk. Now, it looks a little more like typing ideas into the notes app on my phone while I feed Jack. I am, ironically, typing this with one hand while I hold him with the other. 

I'm learning that just because what chasing the dream looks like may change doesn't mean the dream changes. It doesn't mean it's time to let go of the dream. The dream is very much alive, which means it is still so very important to chase it.

So here's to chasing dreams, no matter what that looks like. Here's to chasing them even when it looks nothing like you thought it would.

You are so important. Your dreams are so important.

Sometimes, what chasing the dream looks like may change. Chase it anyway. 

What dream are you chasing right now?

What's Your Dream? And When is it Enough?

What is your dream? 

Really, what is it? If someone asked you to describe your dream life, what would you tell them?

I love talking about dreams. I love dreaming. I love saying to dream big and chase your dreams no matter what.

Lately, with so much transition happening, it's made me think more about this. And I'm wondering if maybe all the focus we put on chasing our dreams leads us to a place of feeling unfulfilled.  Does putting so much pressure on chasing the dream make us more apt to not feeling content when we should?

If you asked me what my dream was, I'd tell you it's to be an author who gets to write books for a living. I'd tell you I want to pay my rent with my words. That I want to get to write book after book and know that people want to read them. To me, that's the dream. 

But alas, that's not happening right now. My job has nothing to do with writing, but it pays my bills. And I still get to write--I have this blog, and of course, I'm always writing, still chasing that dream. Is that enough? For now, I think yes.

Here's the thing: I think it's possible to enjoy life and be happy exactly where you are while still chasing your dream. Does being happy where you are mean you're settling, or that you're giving up on what you want? No, it doesn't.

We're all where we're at in life. And we can--and should--chase our dreams. But don't let that lead you to a place of being ungrateful and restless. Celebrate the areas where you get to have your dream and your life intersect, and keep looking for those areas. But don't let the desire to chase your dream make you throw away the happiness that your life right now could bring you. Because chances are, it's a pretty good life.

So dream on, dreamers. But be happy today, here and now, too.

Feel Free to Change the World.

I have this shirt that I snagged out of my dad's giveaway pile when I was thirteen. It says, "feel free to change the world." I'm not sure where it came from--a conference or a concert, maybe. Either way, I still have it. I've always loved wearing it--it's over a decade old and it's perfectly soft and oversized. But lately, I just feel guilty wearing it.

Feel free to change the world. 

Yeah, right. What am I doing to change the world? Lately, it feels like a whole bunch of nothing. Just mundane routine until Friday, where the next two days will fly by and shoot me straight back to Monday morning. 

Feel free to change the world. 

So it's a Monday morning, and I'm standing in front of the mirror, looking at the words on that shirt. And for the life of me, I can't remember the last time that I truly believed I was going to change the world. And something about that makes me feel inexplicably exhausted.

Feel free to change the world. 

I think that the problem with this is that we sit around and wait for an opportunity to present itself. It's like walking into a friend's house and having them say, "feel free to grab whatever you want from the kitchen!" And then standing there like a stranger, hungry, waiting on them to hand you something specific. 

Feel free to change the world. 

We could do something on our own, but we don't. We stand there like a stranger in the kitchen, just waiting, waiting, waiting. We act like at some point between Monday morning's drive to work and drinks on Friday night, the opportunity to change the world will tap us on the shoulder and whisper excitedly into our ear. 

And that's just not how it works. 

Feel free to change the world.  

Because we can, if we want to.  

So here's to remembering that we can change the world, even if it doesn't look like the giant, grand opportunity we thought it would be. Here's to speaking up for those who are quiet, to defending what we believe in, to putting our actions where our hearts are. 

Feel free to change the world. 

Here's to changing the world in many ways, no matter how small, and to leaving your mark here, no matter how faint. 

Feel free to change the world. 

Work, Work, Work.

I think that sometimes the whole "chasing your dreams" idea can make us a little snobby about good opportunities.

Because really, it's pretty easy to tell yourself that you're working hard when you're sitting around pinning motivating quotes on pinterest that are going to help you work hard once a good opportunity comes along.

It's easy to wait for your dream to walk past you before you start chasing it.

It's a lot harder to start chasing it when it's nowhere in sight and you have no idea if you're ever even going to catch up to it.

This month, I decided I was going to take every opportunity that came my way (within reason, of course). If applied for a bunch of freelancing that I really didn't want to do. I worked my butt off for opportunities that paid way less than they should of.  I did so much boring writing that I thought my eyeballs just might fall out.

And you know what?

Freelance writing freaking paid a good portion of my rent this month.

No, it wasn't the type of writing that I love. It wasn't glamorous.  It didn't come with cups of coffee and creativity and excitement.  But I got a paycheck from writing. And that's pretty cool.

If there's a step you can take that puts you even a little bit closer to where you want to be, take it.  Even if it's not the most glamorous step. Even if it doesn't come with confetti and butterflies, like you always thought that following your dreams would look like.

While you're sitting around waiting for that right step to come along, you could have taken ten of those hard working, not so fun steps. And I think those tend to lead you a heck of a lot closer to where you should be.

Bottom line being that sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves, throw on some Iggy, and get to work.


Happy Pumpkin Spice Latte Day! What does chasing your dream look like to you?

Dreaming, Failing, Glory & Glitter.

"Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." 

I've seen those quote around forever, from canvases in Anthropology to inspirational pinterest boards.  I love it, and it does inspire me to think about my dreams.  But I don't think it's the size of my dreams that scare me.  For me, dreaming is the easy part.

Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.  Or a lot bigger.  Because you can, and you should.

Don't be afraid of chasing those dreams publicly.  Because the opinion here that matters the most is your own.

Don't be afraid to tell people about your extraordinary dreams.  They will either respond with belief in you or by telling you it's impossible.  One will warm your heart and the other will warm the fire in your soul, fueling you to prove them wrong, prove them wrong, prove them wrong.

Don't be afraid of stepping outside of your comfort zone.  You will never be able to chase the adventure of your dream until you do so, and the alternative is living with bitter regret at what could have been simply because you were scared to get a little uncomfortable.

Don't be afraid to be unsuccessful.  Don't even be afraid of failure in epic proportions.  Because when you do fail, and you and your dream crash and burn in a spectacular cloud of glory and glitter, you will do so having tried, having tried, having tried.

Spectacular failures don't exist without spectacular efforts and spectacular experiences.

So don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.

And don't be afraid to chase, to tell, to prove, to step out, to fail spectacularly, to try, to succeed.

Because you can, you can, you can.