An Ode to Friendships.

To the friends you thought would be in your life forever, but aren't. These suck, I know they do. I had the honor of graduating with one of the closest friends I'd ever had in my life. I'd met her because of a group project and become so close with her, that I asked her to be in my wedding mere months after meeting her (side note: I have zero regrets about that). It's been years since we've spoken. Does that make me sad? Of course. Do I wish she was still in my life and that Jack knew her? Duh. But when I look back on the years she was in my life...man, what a gift she was. I can truly attribute lots of things about myself today to the fact that I met her, and she changed my life. Not everything is meant to be forever, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a giant gift.
To the friends that are there for you, even as you grow apart. These are solid gold. Friendships that have fizzled a bit due to time and distance and growing apart, but would pick up the phone no matter what time you called. Who would hop on a plane for you, no matter how long it's been since you last talked. These are rare and special. 
To the long-distance friends. Lucky for us, we live in a time where it's incredibly easy to stay in touch, no matter where you're both located. FaceTime dates, funny memes sent, snail mail cards from the dollar spot...these friendships are special because they take effort. You spend your time and energy on these friends, because they're worth it. 
To the friendships that ended poorly. Over something stupid, or maybe not. Maybe it was your fault, maybe theirs. Either way, what a bummer, right? But I bet it taught you something about yourself, even if it was hard to learn. And learning about yourself? Always a gift. 
To the online friends. Oh, what a tribe. I wouldn't have a blog if it weren't for this group! And let me tell you, they are real friends. When I met Sam for tacos for the first time, it didn't carry the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time, it felt like, "Oh my gosh, I've missed you!" When I FaceTimed with Lindsay and Kerri for the first time, it didn't feel weird, it felt like "we have SO much to catch up on!" The first time I vented to Kait...like, got real and raw and a little scream-y...I didn't get a response from a stranger, I got soothing words from a dear friend. 
Does the internet complicate things? Yes. Does it have a lot of evil in it? Sure does. Does it cause harm? You betcha. But it is also good. It provides a platform to share, a place to meet and grow community, and place to say "no way, you too?!" I was having a horrid parenting day one time when Michelle messaged me about how freaking hard it was to parent toddlers. The relief I felt in that moment, simply hearing "me too!" was a gift. Internet friends? Yeah, those are a gift. 
To the _____ friends. You know, the "we're friends because we have _____ in common" friends. Mom friends, work friends, neighbor friends, the "we definitely wouldn't be friends if it weren't for _____" friends. Maybe they make drop-off and pick-up at your kid's school easier. Maybe they make the work day not seem so bad. Whatever it is, it's worth being thankful for.
To the friendships you didn't see coming. I think these are the friends that get sent to you because you need them the most. The most precious friendships in my life are the ones I didn't see coming, and couldn't have searched out on my own if I tried. Random roommates, neighbors, family members of friends. Like Jesus Himself looked down and thought, "Hang on, girl, I know who you need" and sent them right to me. I could cry over these (I do cry over these, haha). The biggest, biggest gift. 
Cheers to friendships! Life would be a heck of a lot harder without them.

What True Friendship Looks Like Right Now.

Life is made up of lots of different seasons we travel through. As our seasons change, what true friendship looks like changes. Some seasons call for space, some seasons call for an almost-roommate of a friend. Some seasons need extra support, some seasons need more lightheartedness. Some seasons need spontaneity, some need stability. 
I am extremely, extremely blessed to have some true friends in this season of my life. 
Right now, this is what true friendship looks like: 
It looks like acting like me inviting you over is the most fun thing you could have imagined for a Friday night (I know it's not) because I'm solo-parenting and couldn't get a babysitter. It's pretending you don't notice how messy my house is, and then rolling your eyes and saying you don't care when I point it out. 
It's facetime dates. Lots of those. It's understanding that sometimes you just have to blow my phone up before I'll call you back. It's lots of missed calls and texts and not getting too mad when I take twelve business days to respond to your text. 
It's understanding that no matter how much I love the idea of being spontaneous, this season of life takes so much planning. It's still inviting me to things you know I probably won't be able to swing because you don't want to leave me out, and it's trying to plan things in advance so I can secure childcare. 
It's reminding me of how important my dreams are, and nudging me to follow them when I stall or say I'm too busy. 
It's listening to me talk about how I want to be healthier and then not judging me when all I want for dinner is Publix fried chicken. 
It's checking in when I go a little quiet. It's taco bell runs and juice cleanses. It's saying "I'm here for you." It's pool days and Netflix nights. It's sticking it out through the ups and downs, because that's life. It's deep and it's fun. 
It's such a gift. 
What does true friendship look right now in this stage of your life? 

Because That's What Friends Do.

A year ago, I met up with one of my college besties (Sam!) for dinner. We'd been so close in college, but life had taken us different ways. A lot had changed since we'd last hung out (I'd had a baby, for one), and we were both nervous that we wouldn't be close anymore, or that things would be weird.   They weren't. 
We met up at Target and by the time we got through the dollar spot, it was like nothing had changed. It made my heart so, so happy. While we were roaming Target, we ran into my new neighbor, (also named Sam) (yes, I have two friends here and they have the same name. It's confusing). She was having a bad day, so I invited her to join us for dinner. 
And we had the best time. 
We went to Chuy's for stuffed avocados and laughed and told stories and had a great night. I ended that night so happy to be reconnected to an old friend, so happy to have made a new one.  I didn't know that it was about to be the hardest year of my life. I didn't know that in the next few weeks, my faith in everything I've always believed would begin to be shaken, and continue to be shaken like I'd never experienced. I didn't know that I was about to start walking through a horribly dark year. 
And neither did they. We were just eating stuffed avocados and drinking margaritas and laughing, because that's what friends do. 

Two weeks later, Sam (my neighbor) hadn't even known me for a month when she was over for dinner and I got a phone call with such bad news that it literally brought me to my knees. But that didn't stop her from getting on the floor with me and asking what she could do, who she could call, where she could take me. Because that's what friends do. 
Just a few days after that news, my grandma died. And even though it had only been a few weeks since Sam (my college friend) and I had been back in touch, when I called her crying, she got in her car and came to me. Because that's what friends do.
Neither one of them knew what they were signing up for when they became friends with me. I mean, I didn't know what they were signing up for. It was a bad year. Full of bad things. But that didn't stop them from diving headfirst into the bad with me, for better or for worse. 
Because that's what friends do. 

I've been thinking a lot about friendship. About how great of a gift it is. About how precious of a thing it is to find another human and think, "I'll help you through life. We'll do it together." About how, as we grow up and move and change and move again and change some more, so do our friendships. 
Honestly, it boils down to being there. 
Being there virtually, when you're not together in person. Sending texts when you have a second. 
FaceTime. Funny memes. 
Being there despite the mess. The mess that is my kitchen, my dirty dishes, my floors that are always a little sticky. 
Being there because of the mess. The mess that is life. 
Being there when it's hard and awkward and you don't know what to say. 
Being there even though they've canceled on you three weeks in a row because of family drama they don't want to talk about yet. 
Just being there. 
Because that's what friends do. 

We're all just people. And we all need our people. This year has blessed me with some of the best people. Some right down the street from me and some states away. But they've all been the best friends, because they've simply been there. 
Because that's what friends do.

WEEKENDS ARE FOR...

Falling in love. 

Laughing at absolutely everything. 

Celebrating friendships. 

Trying new things. 

Rooftop selfies.
Entirely too many pictures.
Putting off your entire weekend to-do list until Monday, where it belongs.
Re-watching your favorite episodes of old shows.

Making mistakes and laughing at yourself. 

Spending all day laying by the pool. 

Coffee.  A lot of it. 

And just remembering that life is really a pretty cool thing, and you should be happy to be alive. 

What are your weekends for? 

Who do you think Jesus is?

Or, more aptly, what do you think Jesus is like?

I think so many people have a perception of God, big and angry, sitting on a throne in heaven just waiting for the opportunity to strike us down with lighting bolts of wrath whenever we mess up.

Why?

I’ll admit that I sometimes catch myself thinking of Jesus in same terms I would think of a mythical creature: distant, unattainable, and far away.  But that’s just not true.

Last week was a rough week for me.  My husband went back to medical school, which was a drastic change to the amazing summer we just spent together.  I was feeling lonely and a little sorry for myself, and two of my best friends from college came to visit me. 

It was such a great feeling to see them.  To know that when I was feeling sad and bummed out on life, I had people who were there for me that I could talk to.

So we talked.  We talked about life and our dreams and our heartache.  We laughed and vented and told sad stories over bacon dip and the wine that costs four dollars at publix.

And do you know what that is?  That is love.  Friends that band together and just experience life for a minute.  Are sad for a minute.  Are happy for a minute.  Just live for a minute.  That is friendship, and that is love.

Jesus?  He is my friend.

And in moments like this weekend, I remember it even more. 

He’s always here, of course.  But in moments where I experience such a pure form of friendship, I am reminded of how that is exactly who Jesus is.  He loves me relentlessly.  He is not sitting around, waiting on me to mess up.  He is waiting on me to accept His friendship.  He beckons me into a relationship with Him, but not one of rules and punishments, as we so often think.  But rather, one of life.  One of discussion.  One of late night talks about dreams and heartache, lost chances and hopes for the future.  I may not know a lot, but I can confidently say I truly believe that is the kind of friend Jesus is. 

And if he was here in person, I think He would have been at my girl’s night.  He wouldn't have been sitting in the corner, scowling and waiting on us to mess up.  Instead, I think He would have laughed along and had a glass of wine with us.  He would have listened to our sad stories and given us advice on life, telling us not to worry.  He would have hurt along with us as we hurt, and rejoiced over our small victories with us.  Because that's just the kind of God that He is.  

Jesus is a friend, you guys.  I'm sorry if that's not the version of Jesus you were introduced to, but let me tell you from first-hand experience:  He is the best friend you could ever have. 

Check out this month's featured sponsor:

Being a friend.

What does being a good friend mean?

I've had few really good friends in my life.

I've always enjoyed staying in, hanging out at home.  I would rather hang out with one friend that I enjoyed being with rather that go to a party with tons of "friends" that might as well be strangers.  In high school, I would say I had maybe 2 really close friends over the four years, and my best friend moved to college when I was starting sophomore year.  This was okay though, because my mom has always been my best friend.  We always did girly stuff together, crafted together, went to movies together.  So the lack of friends never really bothered me all that much.

It wasn't until I went to college that I experienced having true friends that I got to hang out with on a consistent basis and even live with.  All the clichés are true: I made friendships that I will have for the rest of my life.  I met my bridesmaids.  I met the girls who I will forever call friends, sisters, and some of the best people I know.

I truly believe one of the best things you can be in life is a friend.  Not just a friend, but a true, honest, good friend.

So what does that mean?  How do you define friendship?  What makes you a good friend?

I think it's being there for that person.  It's being crazy sometimes and serious other times.  It's listening and it's talking.  It's giving and it's taking.  But I think more than anything, it's being able to selflessly know when that person needs which thing.

It's knowing when you need to talk and when you need to listen.  It's knowing when they need a night out and when they need to stay in and watch the notebook.  It's spending the money you've been saving for gas to buy them an overpriced coffee because they've had a bad day.  It's crying when they cry, laughing when they laugh, no matter how things are going in your life.

You may never do anything that the world considers great.  You may never reach fame.  Your name may never be known by many.  You may never become rich.  But if you are a true friend, you leave a legacy.  And that is worth more than all of the above combined.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

What do you think makes a true friend?

Have an amazing weekend!

Check out this month's featured sponsor: