You are a success each time you choose to keep trying. || I heard John Maxwell talk about this on the Rise podcast, and he gave the example of someone celebrating graduating college. He said, "Everyone celebrates her on that day, but she didn't just become a success when she was handed a diploma. She became a success when she woke up on Wednesdays to go to math class. She became a success when she failed a test but stayed in school. On the good and bad days, she was a success because she kept trying."
I LOVED that. We sometimes narrow success down to such a small window (just the graduation day, for example), but he's right...we succeed each time we choose to try.
Enjoying the present moment is just as important as planning for future moments. || I'm a planner. I really enjoy planning ahead. But I'm learning that enjoying life day by day is just as important as planning for the future. And let's be honest - future plans tend to change. I should be putting at least the same amount of effort into the only thing that is absolutely for sure, and that's the present moment.
The best kind of friend doesn't look away when you're drowning. || I've got a whole blog post coming about this soon, but the last few months have truly taught me a lesson that I can't stop thinking about this month: True friends don't look away when you're drowning. They sit on the edge of their boat and reach their hands out and hold you up for as long as it takes, no matter how tiring and not fun it is.
You are capable of whatever you set your mind to. || I made a commitment to myself to live thirty days in a certain way. We're only on day twelve, but we're about ten days into me no longer wanting to do it (haha...but also I'm being serious). But I made a promise to myself, so I've been doing it anyway. And you know what? I feel physically and mentally better than I have in a long time. Forcing myself to do things like exercise and journal my thoughts every single day (even the weekends, GASP) has been so good for me. But beyond that, it's taught me that I'm capable of sticking to things, even when I don't want to.
Pajamas are LIFE-GIVING. || Look, sometimes I learn big, impactful things, and sometimes I learn that pajamas truly make my life better. Balance, you know?
What did you learn this month?! Don't forget to fill out the instagram story template (and tag me!) so we can all see!
For the first time maybe ever, I'm writing this in real time as I'm drinking my coffee, so it's like we really are having a real-life coffee date. And don't worry, if you're reading it this afternoon, I'm probably also drinking coffee then, too.
First things first, if we were having coffee, you'd see that my first sip this morning completely skipped my mouth and went straight down the front of my shirt. My white shirt. It's fine. Everything is fine.
If we were having coffee, I'd tell you that I'm now a Beautycounter affiliate. The number one question I get on here and instagram is what kind of makeup do I use and how do I make my skin look glowy (I mean, y'all know how to make a girl feel good). I'm constantly recommending it, and I'll be honest: Something clicked in my brain. I make money off my Amazon recommendations, why the HECK am I not making money off my makeup recommendations? PS: This and this is what I use to get the glow.
I'd tell you that today is the eleventh day in a row I've exercised. I have never in my entire life worked out on the weekends, but I made a commitment to do 30 minutes a day for 30 days, even if it was something simple like going for a walk. A third of the way done, and I feel so good.
I'd tell you that Jack is learning about pirates at school, and this is what he looked like when I picked him up yesterday. My heart is STILL exploding.
I'd tell you that I've been thinking so much about cheering each other on. About how important it is, but also about how EASY it is. My girl Kait is KILLING it with getting her work published all over. Do you know how long it takes to retweet those things so more people can see? Two seconds. My friends Christine and Lindsay started a podcast a few weeks ago, and it took me all of 30 seconds to subscribe and rate it, which helps bump them up in the charts. My best friend Kristen is a BOMB photographer, and it takes the smallest second of my day to fangirl her in the comment section when she posts a new picture on her business account.
See where I'm going with this? It's so easy, it's free, and it means the whole wide world to your friends. More building each other up!
Your turn! What's going on with you? And more importantly - did you spill your coffee this morning?
Happy planner notebooks. || I went to Michael's to get a notebook for my conference a few weeks ago, and this is the one I landed on. They had SO many adorable ones to choose from, but I got the one pictured above that says create your own sunshine. I've been writing in it every morning and it just makes me happy!
Chai tea lattes. || I love chai lattes. I hate how much sugar is typically in chai lattes. So when I saw an unsweetened chai latte mix at Target, I snatched it up. UM, DELICIOUS. Half of this, half unsweetened (vanilla, if you're feeling spicy) almond milk. It's become my favorite afternoon treat. Side note: Amazon has it for $9, but it's only $3 at Target!
Rebel ice cream. || Speaking of treats (and also hating how much sugar is in things), this ice cream is DELICIOUS. I hate how "healthier" ice cream tends to have a chemically taste, and this one doesn't. I've only tried the chocolate peanut butter flavor (which was AMAZING), but my mom says the mint chocolate chip one is good too.
True & Co bras. || I bought one of these bras on a whim at Target, and HOLY MOLY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. The most comfortable thing I've ever put on my body. It's like butter. I've since bought that one in another color and this one too. Now, I'm gonna level with you: These aren't the sexiest things I've ever seen. But they are the perfect everyday bra.
Red Closet Shop workout clothes. || We all know by now that I am obsessed with The Red Closet Shop. When they announced they were dropping an athleisure line, it was a no-brainer. I'm obsessed with it alllll. Perfect for working out (and also for not working out, let's be honest here).
What about you? What did you discover this month?
I've been thinking about this so much lately. Most of the time, when we realize we've made some kind of mistake, or we have some kind of regret, or we didn't achieve something we really wanted, we spend a most of our time in and set most of our focus on the past.
We re-live the moments leading up to that big mistake, thinking of all the things we should have done differently. We replay our regrets over and over, thinking about all the things we wish we would have done instead. We put our failure on a pedestal, bowing down to it daily, building a little altar of all the things we could have done if only we'd been better.
But that's silly, isn't it? Because you can't go back.
We live in a culture loves to bring up past mistakes. How do you explain this?! They cry. You need to change this! They say.
But that's silly isn't it? Because you can't go back.
You can't go back.
All you can do is start from here and go forward.
Have regrets? Cool, me too. Wish you'd handled some things differently? Same. Wish you could have completely skipped some chapters? Me freakin' too. But we can only start from where we are and do better, or do different, or do at all.
What's this look like for you? Maybe you've spent way too much of your life chasing perfection, stressing over tiny details no one else will ever notice, feeling constantly disappointed by inevitable imperfection. All you can do is start enjoying your imperfect life right now, today. You can't get back the time you've wasted being unhappy that you weren't perfect enough, but you can save whatever future time you have from being spent the same way.
Maybe you're the biggest procrastinator the world has ever seen. You've been planning to and talking about and meaning to write that book forever now, but somehow years have passed and there's no book in sight. All you can do is sit your butt down in that chair and start writing now. You can't go back and crank out pages on all those days you promised yourself you'd write, but didn't. But you sure can make sure you write today, and tomorrow too.
Maybe you've spent way too many days drowning in anxiety. All you can do is get help now. You can't get back the days anxiety stole from you (trust me, I wish you could. It's taken a lot from me, too).
Maybe you're a bully. Maybe you're a doormat. Maybe you're incredibly unhealthy, or maybe fight your poor body image by spending an unhealthy amount of time in the gym. Maybe you're a workaholic, or maybe you're the laziest employee there is.
All you can do - all I can do, all any of us can do - is start here, right now, today, and move forward. Whether your past is filled with huge, giant, life-ruining mistakes or just littered with minor, stupid, really shouldn't have done that mistakes...all you can do is start from here.
So start.
No, you can't go back.
But you can start.
Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid
Plot: Everyone knows Daisy Jones & The Six, but nobody knows the reason behind their split at the absolute height of their popularity . . . until now.
Daisy is a girl coming of age in L.A. in the late sixties, sneaking into clubs on the Sunset Strip, sleeping with rock stars, and dreaming of singing at the Whisky a Go Go. The sex and drugs are thrilling, but it’s the rock and roll she loves most. By the time she’s twenty, her voice is getting noticed, and she has the kind of heedless beauty that makes people do crazy things.
Also getting noticed is The Six, a band led by the brooding Billy Dunne. On the eve of their first tour, his girlfriend Camila finds out she’s pregnant, and with the pressure of impending fatherhood and fame, Billy goes a little wild on the road.
Daisy and Billy cross paths when a producer realizes that the key to supercharged success is to put the two together. What happens next will become the stuff of legend.
The making of that legend is chronicled in this riveting and unforgettable novel, written as an oral history of one of the biggest bands of the seventies. Taylor Jenkins Reid is a talented writer who takes her work to a new level with Daisy Jones & The Six, brilliantly capturing a place and time in an utterly distinctive voice. -via Goodreads
Favorite quote: “You have these lines you won’t cross. But then you cross them. And suddenly you possess the very dangerous information that you can break the rule and the world won’t instantly come to an end. You’ve taken a big, black, bold line and you’ve made it a little bit gray. And now every time you cross it again, it just gets grayer and grayer until one day you look around and you think, There was a line here once, I think.”
My thoughts: I adored this book. I didn't think I was going to be super into the format it was in, but I loved it. I also loved the raw and honest look at addiction. While technically fiction, there's a whole lot in there that I'm sure isn't. SUCH good story telling. Also: This may be the reason I'm realllllly wanting to chop my hair into a shaggy 70's bob.
Should you read it? Yes!
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
Plot: For years, rumors of the “Marsh Girl” have haunted Barkley Cove, a quiet town on the North Carolina coast. So in late 1969, when handsome Chase Andrews is found dead, the locals immediately suspect Kya Clark, the so-called Marsh Girl. But Kya is not what they say. Sensitive and intelligent, she has survived for years alone in the marsh that she calls home, finding friends in the gulls and lessons in the sand. Then the time comes when she yearns to be touched and loved. When two young men from town become intrigued by her wild beauty, Kya opens herself to a new life–until the unthinkable happens.
Perfect for fans of Barbara Kingsolver and Karen Russell, Where the Crawdads Sing is at once an exquisite ode to the natural world, a heartbreaking coming-of-age story, and a surprising tale of possible murder. Owens reminds us that we are forever shaped by the children we once were, and that we are all subject to the beautiful and violent secrets that nature keeps. -via Goodreads
Favorite quote: “Faces change with life’s toll, but eyes remain a window to what was, and she could see him there.”
My thoughts: I read this on the plane to Texas, and while I'd heard a lot about it, I didn't know what kind of book it was exactly. Romance? Mystery? Some sort of fictionalized memoir? Turns out, all of the above. And it was beautiful. It absolutely lived up to the hype for me.
Should you read it? Yes!
All the Single Ladies by Dorothea Benton Frank
Plot: The perennial New York Times bestselling author returns with an emotionally resonant novel that illuminates the power of friendship in women’s lives, and is filled with her trademark wit, poignant and timely themes, sassy, flesh-and-blood characters, and the steamy Southern atmosphere and beauty of her beloved Carolina Lowcountry.
Few writers capture the complexities, pain, and joy of relationships—between friends, family members, husbands and wives, or lovers—as beloved New York Times bestselling author Dorothea Benton Frank. In this charming, evocative, soul-touching novel, she once again takes us deep into the heart of the magical Lowcountry where three amazing middle-aged women are bonded by another amazing woman’s death.
Through their shared loss they forge a deep friendship, asking critical questions. Who was their friend and what did her life mean? Are they living the lives they imagined for themselves? Will they ever be able to afford to retire? How will they maximize their happiness? Security? Health? And ultimately, their own legacies?
A plan is conceived and unfurls with each turn of the tide during one sweltering summer on the Isle of Palms. Without ever fully realizing how close they were to the edge, they finally triumph amid laughter and maybe even newfound love. -via Goodreads
My thoughts: I started this on the plane home from Minnesota and finished it before bed that night. It was a quick, lighthearted read, and exactly what I needed after such a knowledge-heavy weekend. It was adorable. Side note: I LOVE when authors write about women over 40 who (shock!) have lives and hobbies and do fun things besides stay at home cooking dinner for their husbands and kids.
Should you read it? If you're looking for a quick and easy, lighthearted beach read, then yes!
Verity by Colleen Hoover
Plot: Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish.
Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity's notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn't expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of what really happened the day her daughter died.
Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents would devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen's feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife's words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue to love her. -via Goodreads
My thoughts: I do not even know what to put here because WHAT. WHAT THE. W H A T. This made my brain explode. I cannot believe someone was creative enough for all these twists. I'm sorry I can't really talk about it, but I don't want to spoil it for you! But it was the best thriller I've read in a long time. If you've read this, I did to talk to you.
Should you read it? Y E S
What about you?! What did you read this month?
I've been focusing as hard as I can on the little joys, because there's been some heavy darkness lately. And when things are dark, turning on every light in the house seems exhausting. But flipping on one little nightlight...now that, I can do. And when you turn enough nightlights on, things start to look not so dark.
So, my nightlights lately...
Lots of good books || The last 5 books I've read have all been winners, and that never happens!
Jack's using mouthwash || As a kid who has hated anything to do with oral hygiene since he popped his first tooth, this is a big deal, okay? (These are the things we get excited about these days, it's fine).
I've drank tons of water every day this week || And ALWAYS feel better for it!
I haven't had an overdue library book in months || I kid you not, the minute I typed this I got an email that my library books are due. Will I keep this streak up? We shall see.
Walks with Jack || So many walks. Lots of sweating. The slowest (s l o w e s t) walk you ever did see, because he likes to take his sweet time. Pure happiness on his part, pure bewilderment on mine that I somehow MADE this whole entire human who has the biggest personality and enjoys slow (I really just cannot stress the word slow enough here) jaunts around the neighborhood.
Morning coffee || frothed with the perfect amount of almond milk and cinnamon.
Trips || I had two summer trips planned and was so stressed about the timing of them. Turns out, they were exactly when they needed to be. Things fell into place exactly as they were supposed to, I see that now. Set reminder to remember this next time I'm stressed about timing.
What about you?! What are your little nightlights lately??
I write a lot of pep talks on here. Someone recently asked me if I could pick one thing for people to take away from my blog, what would it be. My answer was, "That I'm in their corner and I'm cheering them on." That's the reason I love writing mini pep talks in the form of blog post.
Today's is a little different, though.
While I won't publish this until next week, I'm writing this a few days after a heart-wrenching funeral.
And the last few days, I've wondered - how do you go on after that? After you see something so devastating. After you see people you love broken, split right in two by tragedy. How do you get to a place where you see life as good when you just saw how fast it can be over?
Hell if I know.
All I know is this: You can. And you have to.
You can. Even when it really, really hurts. You are strong, even when it feels like you are two seconds away from breaking. You are able, even when you feel helpless. You are a warrior, even when you feel your absolute weakest. And most importantly: It's okay to believe these things even when you don't feel them.
The phrase, life has ups and downs doesn't seem fitting enough. More like, life has magical mountaintops and valleys in the very pit of hell. And you don't have to understand them to keep going. You don't even have to have a positive outlook to keep going. There are some things a positive outlook just doesn't exist for.
I don't think it's always about finding hope and joy and motivation. Those things are so wonderful, but you don't always have to find them. Sometimes, you just have to be willing to be open to looking for them.
So if you're a little down lately, I want to say that I see you and I feel where you're at. If you're a lot down lately, I see you and I feel where you're at. If it feels like you're immersed in total darkness, like the lights are never, ever going to come back on...I see you and I feel where you're at.
It's okay to not be alight. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to not see a bright side anywhere in sight. Trust me, some things have no bright side.
So our pep talk today isn't the happiest I've ever written. It's certainly not about being happy and getting up and doing all of the things.
Today, it's just a little reminder that you're not alone. We all go through these seriously tough things.
It's okay to be terrified of the dark and at the same time have no idea how you'll ever turn a light on.
Today's pep talk is this: Sit in the dark for however long you need to. Just please, please don't lose sight that one day, the light will shine in again.
It will.
I love you.
