A Year on the Other Side of Match Day.

Tomorrow, medical students and their families all across America will find out where they will spend the next 3-7 years of their lives....all at the same time. (If that sounds like an insane way for that to happen, it's because it is. You can read about the actual Match Day here). A year ago, we were waiting for the same thing. 
I blogged a lot about Match Day because it was such a huge event in our lives, and I was surprised by how much everyone could relate. People waiting for an envelope to tell them their future is a pretty specific group, but people who are confused about their future and frustrated by things out of their control is not. In that way, even though all of our stories may be different, we can all help each other and learn from each other, and I think that's pretty cool. 
If I could go back a year and give myself a pep-talk before Match Day, this is what I'd say: 
1. However you are feeling right now, it is okay. For a few days last year, I fell into the trap of feeling like because I was anxious about the future, I wasn't being a supportive wife to Chris. That's crap. There is no right or wrong way to feel about these kinds of things. So the days I was excited about a new adventure, that was okay. The days I was scared and anxious about moving, that was okay too. 
2. No matter what happens, you will still be the same person. I wish I could go back and tell myself: You will wake up tomorrow and still be all of the things that you love. And you will wake up a year from now and still be a writer and a mom and a wife. Circumstances change a lot of things, but not the most important things. 
3. You are more adaptable than you think. Me a year ago was very resistant to change. This is funny coming from someone that had a baby last year, but hey, just being honest. It's almost comical to look back and see how worried I was about the change Match Day would bring, because really, that was the least of ways I've had to adapt in the last 365 days. But I've done it! And while the term, I welcomed change is a bit of a stretch, I've gone along with it. And handled it all without falling apart. And--dare I say--even enjoyed some of it. 
4. Celebrate the journey. Sometimes we get so caught up in how far there is to go and how many obstacles that are along the way that we forget to celebrate how far we've come. Every step of the journey deserves to be celebrated, especially when you've worked hard to get where you're at.

Ironically, these are all reminders I can still use today. So I thought I'd share them, because maybe you could use them too. Whether you have a big, looming decision like Match, or you're just confused or going through a difficult time, remember that it's okay to feel however you're feeling, that you are and will continue to be the same person, that you are more adaptable than you believe, and that you deserve to celebrate how far you've come. 
And if you're participating in the Match tomorrow, as a medical student or a medical student's partner, my heart is with you. You've got this. 

What's Match Day Really Like?

I have a love/hate relationship with Match Day. The parts of it leading up to the day...the pressure and  anxiety and how everything is kept in the dark and the complete lack of answers...I hate that part. A lot. But the actual Match Day? I loved it. Best day ever. And I think I would have felt that way even if the envelope hadn't said what I wanted it to say.

We woke up that day at the crack of dawn...because really, who can sleep when they're about to find out their future?! We were excited and jittery and anxious, but (speaking for myself) waaaay less nervous that I was expecting. I think it was just that feeling of...it's here. 



We got ready and then started the day at some of our close friends' house, where we toasted the day we've been talking about forever. It's been really cool to have friends that are going through the exact same journey you are, but on this day-where we were all about to find out what was going to happen to our futures-it was especially sweet.



After a mimosa or two it was time to head to the school, and when we got in the car is when I finally started feeling a little anxious. So we did what any two rational adults would do...I turned on my favorite rap music entirely too loud and we danced it out.

We got to the school, which was all decked out for Match Day. All the pictures I have of us from the first few minutes we were there look like this:



Nerves, nerves, nerves. But after walking around for a minute, seeing our friends and family, and just seeing the whole atmosphere, we loosened up and starting having some fun.

There were over 100 students there to find out their fate, and their friends and families were there, and it was just such a cool experience. The energy was so high, everyone was excited, and it was an amazing thing to get to share with our families.



The whole ceremony took place in an outdoor courtyard. They had everyone's name on a star, all in a circle around the yard. After hellos and nervous chatter and mingling, it was time for everyone to grab their little black boxes and go find their stars.




You got to request who to stand by, so we were between our two best friends from med-school. It was so sweet to get to experience this moment with them, and since I had to stand behind Chris (you know, since I'm not actually in med-school myself, so I didn't get a star), it was perfect to get to stand with another student's partner, someone who has walked through the same thing I had and who was just as nervous as me. You can explain this process to whoever will listen, but there's nothing like having someone who knows what it's like first-hand.



Once everyone got in the giant circle is when I started crying (for the first time that day, so hey, I call that a win.) It was just such an amazing moment that was so many years in the making. There were a few speeches, one in particular that referenced the first day of school four years ago where they all received their white coats. I remember sitting in that ceremony and thinking how Match Day didn't even seem real, it was so far away. It was emotional to think of all that's happened since then.

Then, the countdown. Everyone across the country opens their envelopes at the exact same time. So the whole courtyard counted down from 10, and in a moment that I'll never, ever forget as long as I live, Chris opened his box and pulled out a golden envelope.



A little side note here: The match letters did not have the names of the cities, they had the names of the hospitals. I did not memorize the names of the hospitals, so for a solid ten seconds I was so confused. 

Seeing those words, "Congratulations-you matched!" while standing outside with 100 other people finding out the same thing was an incredible moment.

We spent the rest of the day laughing and crying and celebrating and sharing our good news.

It was a day I will never, ever forget. A once-in-a-lifetime experience that I'm so glad we got to have together, with baby Jack right there with us.

And now...I'm so glad it's over. Onto the next adventure!

I'm Just So Proud of Us.

I woke up today still on cloud nine from our exciting news this weekend. Also, apparently happy news turns me into the kind of person who says things like "over the moon excited" and "on cloud nine." So there's that. But really-I'm just so happy.

I got up to get my coffee and cried actual tears of joy while it was brewing. Usually, any tears that happen before coffee are most definitely not fueled by joy, so that's saying something. I was just so overjoyed by the thought of how far we've come.

What kicked my tears off at the Match Day ceremony was the dean talking about the white coat ceremony-the first medical school event (almost 4 years ago) where all the students received their first white coats. She talked about the emotion of that day, and I cried, because I was there with Chris, and I remember that day so well. And on Match Day, at the emotional, full-circle event, I was there with him again. We've been together through it all, and I'm so proud of us.

I woke up feeling so celebratory. We should celebrate! There should be champagne! And shopping! And movies! And cake! Then I felt silly, because Match Day was Friday, and we've already celebrated.

And then I felt stupid for feeling silly over that.

Because dreams coming true is worth celebrating. Sticking it out through the hard times is worth celebrating. Reaching your goals and not losing your mind in the process is worth celebrating. A good relationship is worth celebrating.

Guys, I think you should take time to be proud of yourself. Of your accomplishments. Of your relationships. You are amazing, and you are worth celebrating.

So bring on the champagne and the cake. Today, tomorrow, next month. I'm so proud of us, and that is worth celebrating.

The Envelope Has Spoken: Where We Matched!

After what felt like an eternity, Friday, March 18th, 2016 arrived. With it came a tiny black box with Christopher's name on it, and a gold envelope inside. On the inside of that envelope was the name of our new city.

After a long morning of nerves and laughs and both happy and anxious tears and hugs and jitters, we counted down from 10 and finally opened that ominous, fancy envelope to reveal where our next adventure would be taking place. . .

I could not be more thrilled with this news. Seriously, I am overjoyed. I was hoping and hoping and hoping for Gainesville, but-and I realize this sounds incredibly cynical-I felt like since I wanted it so badly, there was no way it was going to happen. 

But it did. 

And I am over the freaking moon excited about it. 

I am so happy that Chris is going to get to follow his dream of becoming a surgeon, and that he's going to get to do that in a state that I love. I am so happy we'll be near family. I am so happy that Jack will get to grow up a little Florida baby.

What a journey. What a reward. 

I finally feel like I can relax a little bit-no more holding my breath waiting on answers. I feel like I can just be for a little while. 

But not for too long, of course...because there are houses to look for and restaurants and parks and churches and stores to look up. Because a new adventure is starting, and it's going to be a good one. 

Gainesville, I'm coming for you!

We Made It.

Today is going to be wonderful. Or awful. Or maybe both, I'm not sure.

At 12:00 today, Christopher is going to open an envelope, and inside that envelope will be the name of the hospital that has hired him for his first job as a doctor. The name of our new city.

So what city is on the inside of the envelope?

We. Have. No. Idea.

As much as we've spent this week talking and thinking and guessing, we just don't know.

But here's what I do know.

I know that today is a huge accomplishment. It is an honor. One that has been four years (more, really!) in the making.

I know that Chris is the most hardworking person I know, and today is the day he gets to see that pay off.

I know that when I met him 8 years ago, he talked about wanting to be a surgeon, and he hasn't stopped talking about it since. Today is truly a dream come true for him.



I know that for me, the worst case scenario today is that the envelope holds the name of a city where I don't want to live. And even in that scenario, I get to move there with the love of my life, our precious little babe, and our fox. We'll all start an adventure somewhere new where Chris will be working a job he absolutely loves. If that's the worst that could happen, then man, my life is good.

As we head off to this intense NFL draft of medicine, I'm so anxious, so excited, so nervous, so ready, and a million other emotions. But my heart is bursting with pride.

I'm so proud of Chris. I'm so proud that he's getting to see his dream come true today.

I'm so proud of us. I'm proud that we've pressed through the hard times (because med school is hard) and lived every moment of the good times. I'm so proud that we've stuck together through it all.

I can't believe that today is here. That we finally made it today.

We made it. 

So, yeah. Today is going to be wonderful. 

Christopher, 

Congratulations on making it this far. I can't wait to spend all my years laughing with you, no matter where that may be. 

Home is wherever I'm with you. xo

8 Things Making Me Happy This Week.

1. Finding out Christopher matched! While we don't find out where he matched until Friday, an email went out on Monday at 11:00 letting everyone know if they matched to any position or not. We were at the pool when he opened his email, and I don't think I've ever cheered so loud on a Monday morning before.

2. This weather. Florida has decided it's summer. After a weirdly cold and rainy February, I am extremely happy about this.

3. The fact that Jack likes to be outside. I know I keep saying Jack is an easy baby, but seriously, the kid loves going places, and he loves hanging out by the pool. It's the best. I'm so thankful that we don't have to stay inside for him to be happy. Also very thankful for his pool outfit:

4. Hot tea. I've been on a hot tea kick (again) lately, and I forgot (again) how much I love it! And I really do feel so much healthier when I drink hot tea all day. Plus, you can pretty much find any flavor you can imagine in a tea.

5. Gatsby met a girl Shiba. We were walking around a lake and they spotted each other from pretty far away and were SO excited. It was adorable. Her owner was an old man who had never seen another Shiba in real life before and thought it was the best thing ever.

6. We find out where Chris matches in 48 hours. 

7. Post-match celebrations! We've got reservations at our favorite place in Orlando, and we are going to party. Because when you wait four years to land your dream job, it's worth celebrating.

8. Knowing that no matter what city is on the inside of that envelope on Friday, it will be the adventure of a lifetime. Plus, I get to take my two best friends with me, so I'll take it.

What's making you happy this week?

Hello to The Most Stressful Seven Days Ever.

One week from today, Christopher will open a box that will determine where the next chapter of our lives will be taking place.

If you're wondering how I'm handling that stress and uncertainty and such a big change hovering, I'll just go ahead and tell you: NOT WELL.

Since we turned the list in, I've tried handling this a few different ways.

First: Pretend it's not happening. If I don't think about it, I won't stress about it. Wrong. 

Next: Think about it too much. Question everything. Rethink the entire last year of my life. Not a good strategy. 

Third: Back to ignoring it. Still not working. 

Up next: Look at houses in every single town that's even a remote possibility on the list. Become instantly overwhelmed at all the options. Pass. 

Fifth: Talk to Gatsby and Jack about this for entirely too long before realizing that neither one of them is ever going to talk back and I am, in fact, going crazy.

Back to ignoring it. 

If you need me at any point over the next seven days, I'll be somewhere in between pretending I'm fine and carefree and stress eating my way through Orlando.

Happy Friday, everybody.

Feelings Leading Up to Match Day.

We are eleven days out from Match Day.  E l e v e n .

Since we are super close (and also way too far away) to finding out, I don't know, EVERYTHING about the next few years of my life, I thought I'd clue you in to what's going on in my brain at the moment.

I am so calm. I am at peace. Whatever is supposed to happen is will happen. I've got this.

....I most certainly do not have this. 

What if we move somewhere that is basically a frozen tundra and it snows all the time? I will die. Florida has made me weak. 

That's silly. That won't happen. Calm down. Okay, better. I've got this. Maybe. 

Yep, definitely see a snowy death in my future. RIP me. 

Okay, this is out of control. Let's just stop thinking and go back to my tried and true method of dealing with stressful things: pretending they are not happening. 

Match? What Match? Oh, that silly thing. Funny you should mention it, I had forgotten all about it! 

The anxiety raging in my soul cannot be healthy. Maybe I need to do more yoga. 



Once again, I am back to being so calm and at peace with the universe and OH MY GOSH WHAT IF WE MOVE SOMEWHERE SNOWY. 

...and repeat approximately 27,000 more times in the next eleven days.

Four More Weeks.

Four weeks. That's how long lies between us and finding out what the rest of our life looks like.

That sounds a bit dramatic, and really, it is. There will be a ceremony and someone will hand Chris a box, and inside of that box will be an envelope with one of 18 cities listed inside of it-the city where we will be relocating and starting the next big part of our life. Chris will stand in a circle with all 100+ of the other med-school students in his class, and with everyone's family and friends looking on, they will all open their boxes at the exact same time.

So yeah, a little bit dramatic.

Match Day. Everything has been leading up to this. Chris' undergrad, applying to and choosing where to go for med-school, away rotations, long shifts at the hospital, applying and traveling and interviewing for residency spots...the last 7+ years have all come down to this. A moment that I will share with approximately 400 other people as I find out what that little box has to say about our future.

A big part of me is excited-a new city, a new house, new adventures. I'm so proud of Chris, who has worked SO hard to get here. I'm so excited for him to get to start his journey has a doctor. For him to truly get to begin his career. I'm excited to see what life will look like in our new place.

A smaller (but perhaps louder) part of me is absolutely terrified. Knowing that I could end up in a town a few hours away or a town across the whole country and not having any indication which one it's going to be doesn't do much to relax me, you know?

Until we find out, I'm taking comfort in the fact that the things about me that I love are moveable. I'm a wife and a blogger and a mom and a writer, and I can be those things from anywhere. There isn't a corner of the whole world I could move to that my parents wouldn't come visit, because I'll have their grandchild with me. I'm trying to have tender roots (a concept I learned from my friend Yelle) that can be picked up and planted anywhere. I'm trying to remember all that stuff I said last year about learning to love the unknown.

The bottom line is this: I'm excited and I'm terrified and I'm proud and I'm sad, and in four weeks, none of that will matter, because the piece of paper on the inside of that envelope on the inside of that box is going to say what it's going to say. To me, that is equal parts freeing and maddening.

Four weeks. Twenty-eight days. Until then, I'll be haphazardly balancing somewhere between relaxing and enjoying the moment and wildly panicking about the upcoming news.

Stay tuned.

Life Updates: Match Day, I See You.

After some questions on Monday's post, I realized that while I mention bits and pieces about med-school, I don't ever really talk about it in terms that apply to me. And I thought, well that sounds like a good blog post.

While I am not in med-school, it is a huge part of my life. I met Chris when I was 15, we started dating when I was 17, we got engaged at 19 (I know, I know, it's young), and married when I was twenty. We got married on his break during his first year of school, so our entire marriage has involved med-school. Because of this I feel like I have a pretty good perspective of it. One of these days I'll blog about all the ins and outs that would have been nice to know beforehand, but until then, if you have any questions--I'm your gal.

But, about where we're at now: Medical School is four years long. Chris is in his fourth year (#PRAISES) now. He's finished all of his tests and is now just finishing out the year working different rotations in different hospitals/clinics/etc.

By September, he has to have all of his applications for residency programs in. He'll go on interviews from November-January (which I'm kind of looking at as a bunch of cross country road trips...yes please.) and then comes match day.

Match day is a cruel and unusual punishment. Everywhere that Chris goes on an interview, he ranks. 1-5 or 1-100, they all get ranked. These places also rank Chris. Instead of just saying, "Hey, we like you!" Or, "Mmmm, not gonna work out!" Everything just stays a big secret. Until match day.

Chris will "match" with the program that he ranks and that ranks him that matches up closest. And because a simple phone call informing him of this would be too painless easy, some sadist invented match day.

Everyone in the entire class finds out where they match on this day. Together. All at the same time. They're given envelopes to open in front of everyone's friends and family. All together. At. The. Same. Time.

Again, a brutal system.

Right now, life is just a big, anxious, exciting adventure. Because on March 18th, we'll find out where we'll be moving and starting the next phase of the adventure. The planning side of me says that this is unacceptable, the hippie side of me is excited for a surprise and a new place to explore.

Anyway, it's a day that's four years in the making. And whatever place is written on the inside of that envelope, it's an adventure waiting to happen.

I hope that explains a little bit better about exactly where we are in the journey. And boy, is it a journey. But, my partner's pretty cute, so I'll take it.

Have any of you ever experienced a match day, or anything like it?