Monday, May 30, 2016
The One Big Thing that May Taught Me.
Friday, May 27, 2016
Goodbye, Orlando. Love You Forever.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Books I Read in May (And Whether or Not You Should Read Them).
The day Aubrey Hamilton’s husband is declared dead by the state of Tennessee should bring closure so she can move on with her life. But Aubrey doesn’t want to move on; she wants Josh back. It’s been five years since he disappeared, since their blissfully happy marriage—they were happy, weren’t they?—screeched to a halt and Aubrey became the prime suspect in his disappearance. Five years of emptiness, solitude, loneliness, questions. Why didn’t Josh show up at his friend’s bachelor party? Was he murdered? Did he run away? And now, all this time later, who is the mysterious yet strangely familiar figure suddenly haunting her new life?
In No One Knows, Ellison expertly peels back the layers of a complex woman who is hiding dark secrets beneath her unassuming exterior. This masterful thriller for fans of Gillian Flynn, Liane Moriarty, and Paula Hawkins will pull readers into a you’ll-never-guess merry-go-round of danger and deception. Round and round and round it goes, where it stops…no one knows. -via goodreads
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
We Bought a House!
- Getting to hang up my clothes. We have the tiniest little closet right now, which means most of my clothes are in my dresser. I'm so excited to be able to hang my clothes where I can see them without having to unfold them! It's the little things.
- Having a separate laundry room. No more piling dirty clothes in front of the washer that happens to be at the foot of our bed!
- Having a backyard! GUYS, I cannot wait to share pictures of the backyard. Serious perfection. Gatsby is not going to know what to do with himself. I cannot wait.
- Jack having his own room. See also: Not having to avoid making noise while Jack naps.
- Having somewhere to eat dinner that is not my lap.
- Having a desk again! Somewhere to write, and blog, and create.
- Paying a mortgage instead of rent. AKA, paying towards something each month for A WHOLE HOUSE instead of just giving the office downstairs most of my paycheck for a single room.
aaaand about a million other things. I can't wait to fill a house with things we love, to make a house into a home that reflects our life, and to cover it in bright colors and flowers and all things happy.
Life is good, you guys. It's pretty dang good.
Tell me something good that's going on in your life!
Monday, May 23, 2016
Do I Look Any Different?
Do I look any different than I did last time we talked?
Because I'M A DOCTOR'S WIFE NOW.
I don't know when that's going to get old. It's been three days and it's not old yet, so just bear with me.
Graduation has come and gone, and the love of my life has finally achieved his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. A real, live, cut-people-open-and-sew-them-back-together doctor.
So, this is it. The end of a journey. The end of an era. The last post I will tag with medical school. Four years of hard work (that doesn't even do it justice) and here we are.
I want to say that med school has been good to us, but I don't really think that's the case. Med school isn't really good to anyone. It's hard and it sucks and it's exhausting and isn't really good to any student, until you make it through it.
But he made it through it, and I made it through the four years with him.
So while I don't think med school was good to us, I think we were good to med school. We made the best of it. Christopher worked diligently and tirelessly at school and in the hospital and then would come home and force himself to stay awake long enough to hang out with me. We made the most of the rare days off, adventured when we could, spent money on fun stuff when we could, and ate ramen noodles when we had to.
Chris zeroed in on his goals. He bought me a puppy and I learned to not be terrified of spending nights alone. We supported each other and pushed each other and loved each other through every good and bad day of the last four years.
Being married to a medical student is hard and exhausting and frustrating at times. But it has been an honor to stand with him over the last four years, and it is an honor to stand with him now, watching his greatest dream come true.
yeah, I'll just eat this real fast.
Goodbye, medical school.
Onto the next four years! Team Jacobs forever.
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Thursday, May 19, 2016
On Creating.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Lies Everyone Tells Themselves.
What other lies to you tell yourself?
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
One Thousand, Three Hundred and Eighty Days.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Back to Reality.
I spent the week in the most relaxing, beautiful, colorful place on earth. It was bright and kitschy and sunshiney and just perfection.
Today, it's back to reality. I'm usually so sad when vacation is over. I tell Chris I have reentry depression and the only cure is to refuse to cook or clean or check my email or do anything remotely responsible for at least 48 hours.
This time, though, is a little different. While I'm definitely sad to leave this view behind:
...I'm also excited to be back to reality. Because reality is that Chris graduates and becomes a doctor on FRIDAY. And then we'll be moving to Gainesville the next week. And I'm just so excited about both of those things that I can hardly stand it.
I normally hate packing of any kind. H a t e i t. With a passion. But this time, I'm so excited to fill up those boxes and load the uhaul and I'm even a little excited to-dare I say it-unpack those boxes.
It's partially because I can't wait to decorate my very own house with bright colors like I saw everywhere on vacation, but mostly it's because I just really love my life.
Sure, I'm not living my dream vacation right now..I have way too many responsibilities for that to be true. And honestly, until I can walk around like this 85 percent of the time, I don't think we can call it a dream vacation:
That being said, I love my life. I really, really love it. I love the direction it's going. I love where we're moving. I love the dreams I have for the next year. And I love the people I get to spend it with.
Friday, May 13, 2016
Letters to Jack: 4 Months.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Things I Believe in This Week: Vacation Edition.
Coming at you today from a tropical little slice of paradise. Currently trying to find an excuse to never ever come home. In the meantime, here are a few things I believe in this week:
- Taking vacations. Whenever and wherever.
- Buying giant pink flamingo floats, even if it doesn't seem like the most reasonable purchase.
- That everyone should have a hammock.
- That food tastes better when you're on vacation. Also: Calories do not exist on vacation.
- Sunshine is good for your soul. So are bright colors.
- That life is meant to be enjoyed. You should take every chance you get to enjoy life to the fullest.
What do you believe in this week?
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Let's Just Be Happy Today.
We all have good day and bad days. To pretend that life is only good, that it is only light and easy and stunning and happy, well, that's just stupid. Because it's not. It's hard sometimes. We all have days that feel never-ending and days that feel more like a vacation. Life is a mixture of ups and downs.
I think there's a chance in every day to be happy. Sometimes that comes easily, and sometimes we have to go hunting for it. But it's there, always. So today, I think you should be happy.
Grab a large sweet tea from Chick-Fil-A and stroll the aisle of Target and be happy.
Read a book outside in the sunshine and be happy.
Call up an old friend and meet for lunch and be happy.
Curl up with a cup of coffee and your favorite blanket and be happy.
Watch a movie and have popcorn and wine for dinner and be happy.
Because, after all, if you live in a world were there is sweet tea and Target and books and sunshine and old friends and coffee and blankets movies and popcorn and wine...how could you not be happy?
Wishing you a day full of happiness, wherever you may find it.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Mother's Day & Being Nice.
The things that people say on social media really shouldn't surprise me anymore, but yesterday, I was a little taken aback.
Yesterday was my first time celebrating Mother's Day with a baby of my own. Last year on this day, actually becoming a mom was the farthest thing from my mind, even though there was already a little babe growing inside of me. This year, I got to wake up to a box of chocolates and a smiling baby and flowers and thought it was the best ever. Oh, what a year can change. It's so crazy to think about.
Anyway, we all know that holidays of any kind bring out both the best and worst in people on the internet. Yesterday was no exception. There were sweet pictures of everyone with their mom, tributes written to mothers everywhere, and quick snapshots of memories of families at brunch.
And then, of course, there were some...more strongly-worder posts.
The ones like, "Celebrating Mother's Day by the pool in honor of avoiding getting pregnant for 27 years now! A baby would be such a life-ruiner."
Posts saying that choosing to not have kids is a selfish decision, and that your life is NOTHING without a baby.
Posts like, "Celebrating Mother's Day so openly is so insensitive to those of us still trying to conceive. Please tone it down."
Or, "Wanna know what being a mom actually is? It's never having anything for yourself, always changing or cleaning or picking up something, and not even having the time to shower. It actually really sucks most days."
Clearly some people I follow had some pretty strong feelings about yesterday.
We all get to have an opinion, of course. And we all get to share it, if we choose to. So here's mine, at a whopping three and a half months into being a mom.
Motherhood is:
- hard.
- adventurous.
- exciting.
- exhausting.
- an honor.
- something that can come in many different forms.
- the best.
- messy.
Motherhood is not:
- a death sentence.
- the end of enjoying your life.
- something that makes every other part of you cease to exist.
- boring.
- the only thing a woman can be good at.
Motherhood can be:
- lonely.
- confusing.
- something that takes awhile to come for some.
- overwhelming.
- something that not everyone wants.
- a surprise.
Motherhood is and isn't a lot of different things to different people. So goodness gracious, we should just all be nice about it.
Before you say something about how much it sucks being a mom, think about how brokenhearted the girl who's been trying to become a mom for years is feeling. Before you say that life is devoid of meaning without kids, think about the couple who's decided having a baby isn't for them and are living a life full of meaning. Before you say getting pregnant is a life-ruiner, think about the girl who had a surprise baby (oh hi, it's me!) and actually thinks her life is pretty amazing. Before you say it's selfish to celebrate a day like yesterday, think about the girl who loves being a mom and just wants to celebrate that.
If you have a kid, I think you are amazing.
If you're trying to have a baby, even though it's turning out to be pretty hard, I think you are incredible.
If you've decided having a baby of your own isn't what's best, I think you are wonderful.
I just think you should be nice. We should all be a little bit nicer, don't you think?
Cheers to mothers and not-mothers everywhere. And cheers to kindness-so, so much kindness.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Feeling So Thankful For The Last Four Years.
GUYS. In fifteen days, Christopher will graduate from medical school. Two weeks from tomorrow, he becomes a doctor. A real life, actual, M.D. doctor.
I'm feeling a lot of the things I expected to be feeling: Relief that these four years are over, excitement for the next stage, sentimentality for the places we've gone and the people we've met over the last four years. But one thing I'm feeling that I didn't really expect is overwhelming thankfulness.
Thankful that we've made it through alive (just kidding) (but only a little bit), but also just thankful for the whole experience of the last four years. It's been really hard at times, but it is truly an honor to get to stand beside the one you love while they get to make their dreams happen.
Before now, I probably would have laughed (or actually just rolled my eyes) at anyone who said being married in medical school is hard. It's school, for goodness sake!
But it's not! Med-school is a full-time job, and full-time school, and boards, and tests, and studying, and surgery, and basically belonging to someone else for four years. All while finding the time to apply for residency and go on interviews and oh, that little thing called Match Day.
Save for the first semester, we were married for the entirety of med school, so I've had a front row seat to all of it. There have been hard days and easy days and exciting days and boring days. There were nights where I would both go to sleep and wake up before he finished a single shift at the hospital. So while old me may have rolled my eyes at you saying your husband is in med-school and it's hard, the four-years-later me wants to hug you and buy you a drink.
I feel like everyone can say they've grown up over the last four years, because four years is a really long time. But I've grown so much, both in ways I expected and in ways I didn't expect. In big, important ways, and in silly ways. For example: The first year of school, I would walk into a room where Chris was studying and see pictures of infected man-junk and scream because my poor little eyes were scarred for life. Now, a textbook can be left out open on a nasty infectious picture for days and my first reaction is, ugh, so much studying and not oh my gosh what is that awful picture get it OUT. See? Growing up leaps and bounds over here.
While I know I will always look back on these as some of the hardest years of my life, I also know they have been the best years of my life.
So cheers to the last four years. They made me a wife, they made me a mom, they made me a person I'm proud of, and they made Chris a doctor. And I am incredibly thankful for them.
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