What October Taught Me.

That I have a strong desire for being able to peacefully disagree. || It's been bothering me so much lately how we, as humans, can't seem to just disagree and move on. We have to be right, and if we're right, then the other person must be wrong, and that's that. And if that's that, we neeeeed to argue about it.
Now, I'm not talking about basic good and evil. Some things are inherently wrong. Racism, for instance. If you're a racist, we're never gonna peacefully disagree and we are gonna argue about it. But if you hate something I'm a huge fan of, or vice versa, we should be able to just disagree and go about our lives. If you think I'm spending my free time doing something stupid, or if I think you're crazy for what you spend your money on, or if we're voting differently, let's hear each other out and then say, "Cool! Let's move on!" It is good to have people in your life who are different than you. It stretches you as a human. 
Long lesson short: Try harder to understand those who view things differently than you. Not everything needs to be so polarizing and not everything needs to be an argument. 
Fall weather makes everything better. || We got a little chilly spell here in Florida, and the second I was mobile again after the stomach flu, I opened alllll the windows and instantly felt better. This last week has been a very stressful one, and taking a few minutes to step outside and breathe in some cool air has helped tremendously. It's a little bit of magic. 
Long lesson short: Get outside and enjoy the fall weather. 
To not be afraid to buy from MLMs. || Just gonna level with you here: I (subconsciously?) have believed the stigma of MLMs. I personally have nothing against them, they're filed under "good for her, not for me." But, it's one of those things where a few bad apples can ruin it for the good ones. In this case, the bad apples being the girls you haven't spoken to since high school sliding into your dms saying "You've been on my mind! Can I help you lose weight?" No Karen, no you may not. So much yuck to make a buck, amiright?
Anyway, I've bought from a few MLMs in the past, but only from people I'm real-life close enough to that I could just straight up say, "hi, I hate this, never bring it up again, okaythankyoubye" if I needed to. But I finally got so fed up with my skin breaking out from makeup that I wanted to try non-toxic stuff. Googling told me Beautycounter was the best non-toxic brand, but...ding ding! It's an MLM. I suspended my ick feelings about MLMs, ordered from a stranger on instagram...and I love it. I don't know that I'll ever wear any other makeup because my skin is doing so well on this stuff.
Long lesson short: Shame on me for being judgy. Stop that. 
That I'm never going to be fully happy if I'm not writing. || Why, why, whyyyyyy are the things that make us happy the first to go when we're busy and overwhelmed? I know for a fact I've written something similar here before, but apparently, I'm not in the business of taking my own advice. 
For the last two months, other than blog posts, I've written  n o t h i n g. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I've been having a stressful go at it, and things I deem unnecessary fly off the to-do list to make room for everything else. Sometimes, we go through survival phases, and we have to do what we have to do. But YOUR GIRL NEEDS TO WRITE. I've been squeezing in ten minutes writing here and there the last few days, long to-do lists and all, and it has made a world of difference. 
Long lesson short: Do the things that make you feel happy, no matter how busy you are. 
HAPPY HALLOWEEN! What did October teach you?

Things That Didn't Go According to Plan.

Graduating college. I was extremely paranoid about graduating college. For months, I made pointless meetings with my advisor to go over things "one last time" because I just had a gut feeling something was off. I even met with a second advisor, because I couldn't shake the feeling. Aaaand my gut was right. 
Two days after class registration had closed for my last semester, I got a letter saying that a mistake had been made and I was one credit short of graduating. When I went to talk to both advisors, they simply shrugged and told me mistakes happen and I'd just have to hang around one final semester.
I emailed every single class that still had room and begged them to let me in, and they all said no. So I moved on to emailing professors I'd had a good relationship with, and finally, one emailed me back and said they had a TA spot and if I worked for free, I'd get a credit. Sold. 
It turned out that one of my best friends was also a TA for him, and it also turned out that he wasn't really excited about teaching a night class. So, he didn't. He left, and for eight weeks, we taught an adult night course of Com 1 all by ourselves. It was terrifying and fun and it taught me a lot. And while I still get angry when I think about how that school tried to screw me over, I wouldn't change that experience for anything. 

Buying a house. I am not the best decision maker. I need a lot of time and details to decide on something. So basically I am a nightmare person to try to buy a house with because that is a huge decision. 
We came up to Gainesville and spent a whole day looking at houses. We left, having narrowed it down to two. I thought that one house was a clear front runner and Chris thought the other house was a clear front runner, so we spent a few days talking pros and cons and looking at the pictures online every five minutes. After much deliberating, we finally picked one. I had a doctor's appointment that morning, so we texted our realtor that we were ready to make an offer and we'd call her after my appointment. 
When I walked back into the waiting room, I could tell something was wrong. Chris told me that in the time it took for my appointment (maybe 30 minutes), someone else had made an offer and it had been accepted. 
The problem with buying the second house was that we'd spent three days talking ourselves out of it, so we decided to go look at it one more time. On our way up there, Chris pulled out his iPad and found a new listing he thought we should see since we were already there. And that was our house.
It was so perfect for us that both Chris and our realtor got on the phone with the owners and the bank before we'd even seen all of the rooms. And we never would have seen our perfect house had the other one not fallen through.

Having a baby. Not only did this not go according to plan...there just wasn't a plan. That's how far away we (thought we) were from starting a family. We hadn't even talked about timing. 
And then, surprise! Jack happened. And it has been better than if I had been able to plan it myself. 

Matching in Gainesville. I've said before that the match process is crazy. Once Chris sent in his applications, I wrote the names of all the cities on index cards and either hung them on our wall (if he got an interview there) or threw them away (if he got rejected). I had a feeling that we were supposed to live in Gainesville, but I didn't realize how heavily I was trusting that feeling until Chris got a rejection email from them. It devastated me to throw that card away. I called my mom and cried because I had truly thought we were supposed to end up there, and now that wasn't even an option. 
And then, a month later, Chris got a phone call from someone saying they didn't know how a mistake was made, but his rejection email was sent by mistake, and could he please come in for an interview? And three days before Jack was born, he did. And two months later, we matched there.
Life is weird and exciting and strange and wonderful and funny. 
Tell me about something that didn't go according to plan for you!

Remember What it's All About: Stop & Savor.

The season of life I'm in right now forces me to stop and savor things while simultaneously reminding me of just how difficult that can be. Every single day is full of a thousand moments I want to remember forever, and every single day is full of busyness and work and stress that make it hard to slow down and do just that. 
Christmas season is my favorite season of all. Christmas with Jack is my favorite thing I've ever had. I want to enjoy the craziness of it all, not rush my way through it. 
Cherishing the moment doesn't come naturally to everyone all the time. Sometimes, especially during busy seasons like this, we have to consciously make a decision to savor it. Working out takes effort. Being good at your job takes effort. Growing a blog following takes effort. I put effort into all of those things, and I'm going to put effort into this. I hope you join me. Because these moments are so worth savoring. 
So that's what I'm going to do. For the next twelve days, I'm going to slow down and savor all the good parts. I'm going to sit on the couch and drink hot chocolate, I'm going to watch Christmas movies with Jack. I'm going to walk around the neighborhood and look at all the lights. And, because I love the hustle and bustle as much as I love the peace and quiet, I'll join the chaos that is Christmas shopping at the mall. I'll frantically wrap and mail presents. I'll enjoy it all. I'll worry a little less about having the perfect holiday and a little more about just enjoying the moment as it is. 
So here's your reminder: Slow down. Be present. Enjoy the chaos and the quiet, the frantic and the calm.
Twelve more days until Christmas. Cheers to making some good memories.  

Make the Best of Where You Are, Because Life is Pretty Amazing.

While I didn't blog about it at the time (because I didn't want to get burglarized, ya know), I spent a good portion of last fall living alone. Christopher had away rotations in other states, so it was just a very pregnant, often sick me and Gatsby holding down the fort in Orlando. 
I was so sad when I realized his rotations would be in the fall. I love fall so freaking much, and I have a long list of things I like to do in the fall. Living apart from my husband and not getting to celebrate my favorite season together was not on that list. 
But you know what? It was fine. It was sad, of course, but I survived. I burned a lot of pumpkin candles and got a lot of blogging done and had a lot of me-time watching netflix before Jack was born. And eventually Chris came home, and I got to do all those fall things on my list, just a little later. 
It was a good fall. One that I'm so glad it over, and one I'm glad I don't have to repeat, but at the root of it all, it was good. 
I've been so excited for our first fall with Jack. I've been dreaming of filling every weekend in October with trips to the pumpkin patch, drinking apple cider, going shopping for Halloween costumes. Well, Chris got his schedule, and he works every. single. weekend in October. Thanks, intern year. 
But you know what? It will be fine. It will be good. And next year, when I'm talking about fall, I will look back and say "That was just the best fall."
Because so much of finding the good in life is making it yourself. Life is rarely exactly what we imagine it will be, but making the best of where we are is just about as close to perfect as we can get. 

Jack's first fall trip to Hobby Lobby. 
Would it be nice to have October weekends with my little family to spend doing fall things? Of course. Am I going to find a way to squeeze in every bit of fall anyway? You bet. Are we going to have the best fall ever with Jack? Absolutely. 
Because life is amazing, whether you have to work or not. Fall is amazing, whether you have the weekends off or not. And being together with the people I love is close enough to perfect for me. 
We get to choose how to make our life. I choose to make it the best. What about you? 

The Optimism of a New Start.

I think that deep down, we're all suckers for fresh starts. There's a reason we throw ourselves into creating resolutions and goals when the calendar turns over at the new year. There's a reason why we get the itch to move to a new city after going through a bad breakup. Why we think that if we abandon that half-full journal and buy a new, blank notebook then our journaling habit will finally stick this time. 
Moving here has felt like the ultimate fresh start. It was an ending chapter to so many things, and a completely new beginning. A new city, a new house, a new phase of life. I remember talking to my best friend and telling her, No one knows me here. No one has any expectations of me. I can be anything I want to be, and that is exhilarating. 
That fresh start has made me view things with such renewed optimism. I'll be able to make friends who have never known me before I was a mom. I can introduce myself as a blogger and not feel weird about it. I can wear an outfit that's outside of my comfort zone and not worry about someone thinking that I don't look like myself. There are no unspoken standards to adhere to and no expectations I feel pressured to meet.
It has truly been wonderful to feel that way. It's also been a scary and uncomfortable amount of new, but it's been so, so good. 
It makes me think...if I hadn't left Orlando, would I ever have let myself feel this way? I don't know, and that's a little sad. 
So wherever you are, whatever phase of life you're in...give yourself the gift of a new start. Big or little. Public or private. Just start fresh. 

You don't have to go out every weekend just because that's just what you've always done. If you aren't super into it anymore, don't go. Suggest something else instead. 
You don't have to refrain from speaking up just because everyone knows you as the quiet one. 
You don't have to be embarrassed of your new hobby.
You don't have to adhere to the characteristics of the person you were five years ago, or last year, or last month. 
You can be whoever you want to be, say whatever you want to say, wear whatever you want to wear. Because YOU are in charge of if you get a fresh start or not. 
And a random Thursday in August seems like a pretty good time to start over to me, wouldn't you say?

Define Your Own Success: Good Days.

Wanna know what can be depressing? Browsing Instagram. 
I know we all have our own opinions about social media, but I love Instagram. I love seeing little snapshots of my friends' lives, and I love getting to browse snapshots of subjects that interest me. But something that starts out as fun can quickly turn to self-doubt.
I scroll through photos with writing hashtags and see writers in their young twenties celebrating getting an agent. Writer friends going to expensive conferences together. Authors who don't have to work an additional job because they're paying their rent with money they're making from people reading the books they wrote. That is amazing! And I'm over here like...Oh, I thought it was a good day because I got ten minutes of writing done. 
I browse blogging pictures and see people getting paid to travel and wear pretty clothes. People with tens of thousands of followers, getting paid to collaborate with some of my favorite brands. And I'm over here like...Oh, I thought it was a good day because I had some really engaging comments on my post. 
I scroll through pictures with mom life hashtags and am baffled by the mom who has three kids, one of which is four months old, and managed to curl her hair and contour her makeup for a picture. The mom lounging by the pool with her already once again toned abs (HOW?!) while her baby sleeps peacefully. The mom who is baking a freaking homemade cake in her spotless, trendy kitchen while her baby plays contently in the next room. And I'm over here like...I thought it was a good day because Jack got a bath and I got a workout in. 
I'm not a jealous person. I don't struggle with envy. When I see these things, I'm legitimately happy for these people. How amazing that someone's hard work is paying off in the form of getting an agent and a paycheck from the book they wrote-good for them! You grew your blog following enough to start making serious money and getting paid for cool experiences? That is incredible. Congratulations! She has time to take care of her kids and have a clean house and still look like a supermodel? That is remarkable. Go her! 
I don't get jealous. What I get is a little down on myself. I get the feeling that I should be doing more, that I should be more successful, that I should be more. All of the sudden, my good days that I was so proud of don't seem so bright and shiny and successful. They seem dim and dull and barely scraping by. 

I'm not stupid. I know we only put our best foot forward on Instagram. For example, I wanted to show off my new mug, so I took the above picture no less than twelve times. Do you see that all of my nail polish is chipped off? That I stained my dress minutes after putting it on? Do you hear that Jack is screaming in the next room because Chris is trying to get him to wear a bow-tie and he is just not having it? No, no you do not. I know we all do this! I'm not going to boycott social media, because I'm a smart woman, and I know that the problem isn't with pictures on the internet, the problem is with me. 
I need to work on defining my own success. Would I love to get an agent? Absolutely. Is that in the cards for me at the moment? Not this month! Would getting paid to blog be the best thing ever? Of course! Am I going to make enough money blogging to quit my job? Not a chance. 
So wouldn't it be stupid, then, to define my own personal success as those things? Because if I did, then success would always be out of reach, and my days would always fall short. 
Want to know how I'm defining success lately? By good days. If it's a good day, then it was a successful day. 
Sometimes a good day means writing an entire chapter and getting paid to write a cool blog post and doing my makeup and taking Jack to the park. And sometimes a good day means Jack was bathed and fed and my husband still loves me and the house is still standing. 
If I can lay in bed at the end of the day and remember that life is good, I'd call that a success. 
How do you define your own success?
PS: Wanna see my staged and not staged and perfect life and messy life pictures? Here's my instagram.

Be a Place Where Everyone Belongs.

At the risk of sounding just a little bit pathetic, I'm going to tell you a story. 
I'm a part of a doctor's wives facebook group (which might sound silly, but it's super helpful to get answers and perspective from and just be able to vent to a group of women who have been in your shoes and made it out alive). As soon as we found out where we matched, I added everyone who lived in Gainesville and everyone who was moving there, too. I was so excited-built in friends!
I was even more excited to find out that two of the people I thought I would best get along with live right near me! I messaged them both and told them I wanted to get together once we all had a chance to unpack and get settled. They said sure thing, and I was so excited. 
A few weeks went by, and I messaged them and asked if they wanted to get together for lunch or to go to the pool, and I didn't hear anything back. Which is fine, we're all busy! But then, I started seeing them post pictures together at our neighborhood pool. 
And it made me feel so left out. I've thought about it way more than I should. Is it because I'm younger? Because I only have one baby and they have multiple kids? Is it because of this? Or that? 
This is not a blog to say shame on them. In reality, they probably haven't thought another thing about it. They probably just hit it off right away, and are busy. Having kid(s) and making new friends takes a lot of effort. Or maybe they're the kind of people who are comfortable with just a few friends and want to skip the whole awkwardness of making new friends. They probably completely forgot I messaged them. 
No, this is a blog post to say how often do I do that? 

How often do I see someone standing alone, obviously uncomfortable, and decide to just stay in the conversation I'm in rather than try to include them? Or when someone says we should get together! How many times do I nod enthusiastically and then don't follow up, because life is busy and getting together takes time? How many times have I seen someone sitting alone in church and it would have taken nothing for me to go sit with them, but I chose to stay where I was? Or when someone emails me asking blog questions, and I think about how long it would take to respond, so I put it off until it's forgotten. 
Answer: Probably more than I realize. 
I've probably been the source of people not feeling good about themselves, just because it was easier for me to not get involved. 
So today, I'm reminding myself to be a place where everyone belongs. In conversations, at parties, at church, in life. It's not that hard. 
We don't have to be best friends with everyone, ever. It's not our responsibility to make sure no one is ever left out. But one thing we should all strive to be a place where everyone belongs. It's really, really not that hard. 
Public service reminder: Life is short. Love people while you're here. 

It's Okay to Change Your Mind About What You Want.

Yesterday, I wrote the last part of Jack's birth story (coming soon!). I spent the day remembering a thousand tiny details about his first few days. How he smiled in his sleep while they were rolling me to our room. How we had to go to Publix after being released to pick up my prescription and I just kept looking at him, thinking, "We keep him? This tiny little thing?" And being a mix a pure happiness at getting to keep his perfection and pure terror at the responsibility of keeping him alive. How I woke up disoriented from the first nap I took on our first day home, asking Chris if the nurse had come back by, and he said "You don't know what you're talking about. Come look at your baby."

I spent Saturday afternoon splashing around in this pool with that same little baby, who's almost six months old now. He splashes and laughs and yells and jumps, and then he naps in the shade while I sit in the sun (PSA: That pool was $20 at Toys-R-Us. BEST 20 dollars I've ever spent). It's not a way that I ever thought I'd be spending my afternoons, but it's the absolute best. 

Here's the thing, you guys: I didn't want a baby. 

I know that feels kind of taboo to say, but it's the truth. A baby wasn't in my plans. 

Here's the other thing: My life feels perfect now. 

I know that one's taboo to say, so let me reassure you, my life is freaking far from perfect. I am exhausted and playing a continual game of catch-up and still having to learn how to actual do the whole mom thing.

But on days like this, where I hold him and he splashes around and laughs and then he watches cartoons while I write and then we all go for a walk when Chris gets home...it feels pretty dang close to perfect. 

And to think...it's a life I never even wanted. 

All of that to say: It's okay to change your mind about what you want. I'm not just talking about having babies, although if you change your mind one way or the other about that, good for you! It's okay.

If you've spent your whole life talking about the career path you want to pursue, and then you get there and you don't want it at all, it's okay. You are under no obligation to stick to an earlier dream. 

If you've always talked about how you would never willingly live in your hometown again, then you wake up one day and feel like it's the perfect place to settle down, good for you! It's okay. 

If you've worked your butt off to go to law school and suddenly realize you'd rather study microbiology or creative writing, good for you! It's okay.

This is your life. You're the one who has to live here. So if one day, you change your mind about what you've always thought you've wanted, you owe it to yourself to go for it. To change your career or to move to another country or to switch roommates or to take up that one hobby you've always made fun of. 

I'm here to tell you: Sometimes the life that is at the opposite end of the spectrum of the life you thought you wanted is the exact life that you need. 

So change your mind. It's okay. 

Residency: It Has Begun.

Yesterday kicked off the start of Chris' residency, something that I've been both looking forward to and sort of dreading simultaneously. The start of his career also means the end of a long break where he got to spend tons of time with me and Jack, and I've loved every day of that. 
Surgery residency is notoriously difficult. An incredibly tiring and time-consuming choice. Long shifts, long weeks, really, really hard work. I was reading a blogger's recount of when her husband chose to do a surgery residency, and she said that everyone she talked to said things like, "Yeah, your marriage won't make it through this." 
1) WHY do people think it's okay to ever say things like that?!
2) Her marriage made it just fine AND she's happy. SO THERE. 
But, just because I'm confident that my marriage will still be standing when residency is over doesn't mean I'm particularly excited to experience first-hand whatever it is that has made so many people call it quits. It will be hard, and that scares me, and I think it's good to put that out there. 
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to only show the good side of things. We're so excited to start that new job. We're thrilled to become a mom. We're looking forward to the big move. It's one-hundred percent possible for those things to be completely true while we are scared or nervous or anxious at the same time. 
Having a baby terrified me. The match day process almost killed me. Big changes stress me out. 
I'm such a proponent of talking about the good. I think we should fill our spaces with the good way more than the bad. But sometimes, the best things cost hard work and sacrifice, and sometimes, that can be scary. And it's okay to say so. 
We matched in an amazing place, and I am so thankful. Chris became a doctor, and I am so proud. We bought a house, and I am just in awe that this is my life, because it's just so good. 
Residency has started, and I'm so excited for Christopher to have his first job doing what he loves. I can't wait to watch him succeed in all of his dreams. Along with that, I know it's going to be really hard, and that scares me. 
I know I'll blog a lot about residency, because it's our life now. It's not something I'm wishing away, I'm not counting down the days until the end of it, because this is life, right now, and I don't want to miss a bit of it. I know that it will be hard because being a surgeon is hard, so it makes sense. 
But just because something is difficult doesn't mean it can't also be beautiful. 
It's going to be hard, and I'm nervous. It's going to be beautiful, and I'm excited. 
And isn't that just what so much of life is? 

just start: where you are with what you have.

There's something so exciting about moving to a new place that's completely empty, just waiting to be filled with your furniture and personality and decorations. Just waiting to be made into your house.  But, it's also a little intimidating. I mean, it takes a lot of time and energy and money and bargain hunting to make a house into something you love. 
When we walked into this house for the first time, I knew it was our house. Everything in my gut just screamed that this was the one for us. So much so that I started panicking about someone else buying it before we had even seen all the rooms. 
While Chris was on the phone with the bank (I'm serious, we decided RIGHT away), I walked around and looked in each room over and over again, imagining how we could make it ours. How it could become a reflection of us. 
Everywhere I looked, it was obvious that the people living there had made it a home. There were little reflections of them everywhere. They had lived there for seven years and cultivated a space that-even though I'd never met them-I could tell felt like them. 
And that was a little intimidating to me. Seven years they had spent making this home, and it was going to be emptied out and cleaned and given to us as a blank space. I wanted to make it our own, too. I didn't want to just throw a couch and a table in there and call it done, I wanted it to feel like a home. Our home. 
Now, how stupid would it be if I just decided that the amount of work it was going to take to make the house feel like home was just too much-that the shopping and the decision making and the buying and the rearranging was going to take too long, so I may as well just keep the house at ground zero? If I decided that shopping around and picking out a bed and setting it up and picking where I wanted to go was too much work, so we should just sleep on the floor forever?
Answer: So, so stupid. 
...But don't we do that all the time? 
We have big dreams and ideas and goals, but starting at ground zero is really overwhelming. We allow ourselves to be intimidated by how big the steps to get there are, how many of those steps are between us and the end, and it just seems like it would be easier to just sit at the starting line instead.  Easier? Sure. Worth it? Not a chance. 

This house is teaching me that all good things take hard work and time. Whether it's something as silly as looking for a soap dispenser that matches your kitchen or as big as deciding to write that first chapter in the book living inside of you-it takes effort.
I'm hoping that one day in the very near future, our house will just feel like us. That we will have cultivated our perfect little home. It'll take some work, sure. And so will your dream-the book or the house or the degree or the idea. It takes work. 
But you have to start. 
Start where you are, with what you have, and go from there. 
It's so, so worth it. 

Look Around, It's All For You.

When I was younger, the winter Olympics were my favorite thing for one reason and one reason only: The iceskating. I loved watching the girls (and guys too, I guess) spin around in their sparkly outfits, dancing and gliding on ice effortlessly to popular songs. I can remember twirling around in my room after watching them, falling asleep promising myself that I would take up iceskating one day. Spoiler alert: I have gone iceskating a handful of times, and none of them have been particularly successful. It just wasn't meant to be.

I can remember one night of watching in particular, where a very young-looking girl did an incredible job, earning her a near-perfect score. The crowd went wild, and people began throwing roses and teddy bears onto the ice for her, chanting her name and cheering. She shrieked in excitement, got teary-eyed, waved at the crowd, and then quickly skated back over to her little dugout (or whatever the iceskating equivalent is).

Before she could step off of the ice, though, her coach stopped her and turned her back around. She gestured towards the dramatic, cheerful scene unfolding and whispered something to her. I'm not sure what all she said, but the camera got close enough to make out the words, "Look around at all of this. It's all for you." 

As the girl turned to really take it in, she collapsed into her coach's arms and began sobbing. The crowd continued cheering even more, and even though I was just a little girl, I cried, too. It was such a beautiful scene, watching someone achieve what they had worked so hard for. Hearing the crowd chant her name in a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

That scene has stuck with me. Every now and then I think of it, and it gives me goosebumps. Sometimes it even makes me cry again, so many years later. Because it reminds me so much of life. How we can sometimes just rush through our days, giving everything a quick once-over before moving onto the next thing. How we sometimes let huge successes in our lives slip by unnoticed, because we still have so much else to do. How we turn our backs on incredible beauty and gifts-the sunrise and laughter and summertime and good music-the entire universe cheering us on, chanting our names, throwing roses at our feet-because we've forgotten it's all for us.

Look around. Stop and take in how breathtaking the sunrise can be. Close your eyes and soak in the way the wind feels against your skin. Throw your head back and laugh with abandonment when you feel joyful. Literally stop and smell the roses. Celebrate your successes. Appreciate the feeling of the grass under your feet. Take a day off and hang out by the pool and enjoy how good life truly is. Your life. The one full of beautiful things that you are currently living in.

Look around, it's all for you.

Work Hard & Be Nice to People.

I have a sign hanging up in my house that says "Work hard and be nice to people." My mom bought it for me while we were shopping for my birthday last year. I saw it hanging in Francesca's and loved the simplicity of it. It's some of the best advice, but it's so, so simple. 

When considering what we should do and how we should act, I think we sometimes overcomplicate things that can often be boiled down to these few simple words.

Work hard. At your job, on your hobbies, on becoming who you want to be. Work hard on making your dreams a reality, on being someone you can be proud of. Work hard at the things you are supposed to work hard at and work hard on the things you can sometimes forget deserve hard work, things like bettering yourself, trying to be a good spouse/partner, being kind to people, or standing up for yourself. Life is too short to take the lazy way out on the important things. Work hard. 

Be nice to people. Be nice to those who are nice to you, and be thankful for their friendship. Be nice to those who aren't nice to you, and wave goodbye as you ask them to leave your life. Life is too short to put up with mean people in your life, but it's also too short to be a mean person yourself. So no matter what, be nice to people. Be sweet. Kill 'em with kindness. 

Want to become a better person? Work hard and be nice to people. 

Want to move up in your job? Work hard and be nice to people.

Want to make your life a happier place to live? Work hard and be nice to people.

See? So simple. We overcomplicate things.

Happy Monday, friends. It's a fresh new week (birthday week over here, yay!), and there will be plenty of chances to work hard and be nice. Take them! 

What February Taught Me.

February is a short month, but the last 23 days have felt pretty long to me. Probably because of how much change was squeezed into those 23 days. February has been a month full of new normals, adjusting, changes, and lots of learning.

So far, February has taught me...

That getting out of the house (often) is absolutely essential when you have a newborn. Cabin fever is real. Let's just avoid it.

That sunshine has magical powers, and a day spent in it can fix just about anything. 

That if you're feeling down, a fresh haircut can turn that around. 

That making time to have fun is extremely important. Things like taking vitamins and exercising are important for your health, but spending a night getting dressed up and laughing and taking blurry pictures with your people also does wonders.

That being a mom isn't always going to look like what I assumed it would. I don't think I'm ever going to fit any type of cookie-cutter "mom" description, even the ones I had in my own mind. So far, that's been a good thing. I'm learning it's way more important to figure out what works for you and just wing it when needed than it is to try to force yourself to fit into a certain mold.

That you NEED to laugh every single day. 

What have you learned this month?

How Do You Measure What's Really Important?

Yesterday, we spent the afternoon on the rooftop, hanging out with Jack. We pulled some seats close to each other, wrapped Jack up in a blanket, and just soaked up the warmer weather. And it felt so, so important.

We weren't doing anything that any to-do list would have classified as important. We weren't discussing our rank list for match (which is due in like two weeks, so expect the panic attack any day now), we weren't cleaning or studying or working or replying to emails or any of that other grownup stuff...we were just hanging out. We were enjoying warm sunshine and sipping cold drinks and looking up funny things on the internet and hanging out with our new babe and just being a family.

And it was important. I needed to just sit there and do nothing. To enjoy the fresh air and relax with the love of my life. To take a few deep breaths and snuggle my little man in the sunshine.

Jen Hatmaker posted this on her instagram a few weeks ago, and it's been bouncing around in my head ever since:

"As you move into 2016 hoping for a saner schedule that prioritizes your actual life and keeps you focused on the things that matter the most, let me share the decision-making filter my agent Curtis always gives me: "If it's not a HELL YES, then it's a no." So that medium yes, that I-feel-like-should yes, that guilty yes, that coerced yes, that I-actually-hate-this-thing yes, that I-guess-so yes, that who-else-will-do-it yes, that careless yes, that default yes, that resentful yes, that I-probably-shouldn't-but-struggle-with-boundaries yes? 

NO. Nope. 

No thank you. I am unable to commit to that this year. Thank you so much for asking, but any new yes I give right now means a no to my family and sanity. I am so flattered you asked and count on my prayers, but I am at my maximum bandwidth right now. I appreciate your work so much, but I've already committed my time and energy this year. I've loved being a part of this, but I am no longer able to continue. We are aggressively focused on x, y, and z this year, so as a family we've agreed on no new commitments. This is what I can give but won't be able to do more right now. 

Now, the things that make your heart race, your blood pump, the fire in your belly burn, your gifts to leap to life, and keep your family and home healthy and strong...the hell yeses? ALL IN, BABY."

Would it have made sense to anyone else if I had told them yesterday that sitting on a rooftop was the most important thing I did all day? Probably not. But that doesn't matter. 

Maybe it's becoming a mom, or maybe I'm just growing up and caring less what people think, but I've been thinking a lot about just how much we do because we feel like we should, like it's supposed to be important, and how much we miss out on because of it. 

So here's to saying no more often. To saying no to a mundane life that you just don't want, or to saying no to the life that has become too fast-paced for you. Here's to saying no to spending time with people just because you feel like you should. Here's to saying no to all the responsibilities you've taken on that aren't yours at all, you've just made yourself feel like they are. 

And here's to saying yes more. To saying yes to spending your time with your favorite people. To ordering pizza for dinner when you're too tired to cook. To going on spontaneous adventures and shutting the laptop off while you do so. To saying yes to the important things. 

Sometimes, the most important thing you will do with your day will be big and life-changing and you will remember it forever.

And sometimes, the most important thing you will do is sit on a rooftop, doing nothing with the loves of your life.

Only you know what's really important right now. And only you can say yes and no to the right things to make the important things happen. So do that! 

Wishing you a month full of no thank you's and many, many big, important, strong, passionate yeses.

It's Going to Fly By.

This year will fly by. Whether you stop to take it in or not, whether you choose to be thankful for it or not, whether you live each day to the fullest or not. There are 365 days in 2016 (21 of which have already come and gone) that are going to pass, whether you cherish them or ignore them.

So cherish them.

The holidays come with a sense of urgency, with the desire to take it all in, to cherish it all, to live in each moment and make time for what is most important to you. It is exhausting, but it is full. Then real life must begin again, and in the midst of it all-in the midst of going back to work and being forced to wear real clothes instead of pajamas and making resolutions and eating healthier and getting life back on track-the desire to savor, to stop and take it all in, quietly disappears. The second Monday of the year doesn't feel worth cherishing, the third even less so.

And before we know it, we will be nearing the end of 2016, saying things like, "I can't believe it's almost 2017! The year went by so fast!" And we will make promises for the next year of our lives-still high off of the Christmas music and kindness and twinkling lights, we will promise to cherish each day we are given.

That moment will be here before we know it, but at the same time, we still have an entire year to live in before then. So live in it. Soak it all in, even the mundane Mondays. Cherish the new experiences and the same old ones you've grown familiar with. Make time to spend on those who are closest to you. Do whatever it is that makes your soul come alive.

Because the time-the brief, long, magical, mundane time-between now and next year is going to pass whether you take the time to notice it or not. So notice it. Stop and take it all in. You'll only ever see it just this once.

Ps: Please understand I may be a bit slow in getting back to you as I'm either about to have a baby//currently having a baby//have just had a baby. I wanted to keep things going on my blog, but it may take a bit to get back into the swing of things since I'm, you know, bringing a human into the world and all. xo

Be Someone's Cheerleader.

There's not much that feels better than knowing you have someone on your team. Better yet, knowing that you have someone on your team no matter what. That's one of my favorite things about marriage-knowing that no matter what happens and no matter what I do or if I fail or anything else, Chris is going to be on my team.

If you had the privilege of growing up in a good family, or you have a group of friends that have become your family, you know what I mean. They're your team, and they aren't going to turn on you when you make a mistake.

There's something about that knowledge that gives you so much confidence. It's a beautiful gift. And it's a gift I think we should give to others whenever possible.

Sure, you can't give everyone you meet the gift of having a permanent teammate who's always going to be on their side (although, if it's someone in your life for the long-haul, you definitely should), but you can give them the gift of being encouraging. Of being their cheerleader.

Your friends, your family, your acquaintances...I doubt there's anyone in your life who wouldn't benefit from being told that they can do it, that you do believe in them, that you think they're amazing.

Because really, doesn't it feel great when someone does that for you?

So be someone's cheerleader today. This week. This month. Choose to tell someone how great they are, how successful they're going to be, how much you admire their efforts. Choose to silence the negative and yell out the positive. It truly can make the biggest difference.

Ps: Please understand I may be a bit slow in getting back to you as I'm either about to have a baby//currently having a baby//have just had a baby. I wanted to keep things going on my blog, but it may take a bit to get back into the swing of things since I'm, you know, bringing a human into the world and all. xo

Little Things You Should Do Every Day.

During a time when giant resolutions are being made and you're formulating a New Year's plan to basically overhaul your entire life, it can be nice to take a step back and look at the basics. Big goals and resolutions are great, but there are also some smaller things that you can do to make big changes.

Drink water. Lots of it. I will probably talk about this forever, because it amazes me that such a small thing that takes such little effort can make such a big change. When I make sure I drink a ton of water every day I have less headaches, better skin, more energy...all by just drinking something that is free. Seriously, if there was a crazy popular supplement you could buy that did all those things, you know you'd be tempted to buy it...so drink yourself some water!

Make something better. How many times do we stop when something is done enough? A work project, a blog post, a dinner...our everyday lives are full of things that we could keep making better and better and never be finished with. Obviously, that's not feasible. But every day, you can choose to make something better. Read over that email one extra time, or mop the floor instead of just sweeping it. Choose something and make it a little bit better.

Be thankful. If last year taught me anything, it's this: Thankfulness may not have the power to change circumstances, but it has the power to change me. Being thankful is a powerful thing. Switching your mindset to one of gratitude is life-changing. Focusing on the good instead of the bad is a mood-altering magic. Just taking the time to be thankful for one single thing each day can really determine the type of day you have.

Leave someone better than when you found them. When I was younger and would babysit at someone's house, my mom would always tell me, "Make sure you leave the house better than you found it." I think the same logic can be applied to people. You really do have the power to make someone's day better, and you can do that so simply, without taking anything away from your day. Throw away someone's trash for them, compliment their outfit, bring them a coffee, smile at them. Don't you have a better day when someone shows you love?

Choose silence over stupidity. I am not confrontational at all, but when it comes to people I know and things I feel passionate about, I am also not timid. So when someone is talking about something I disagree with, or have strong feelings about, my first reaction is to pipe up and give my opinion and let them know why they're wrong. I would venture to say that 90% of the time, I later (if not immediately!) realize that my words made no difference, and I wasted my time and maybe even dignity just to make myself feel better. You can't take your words back...that goes for words that are hurtful and words that just make you feel stupid later. So sometimes, it's best to just choose silence.

What's something you think you should do every day?

The World Can be so Ugly. The World Can be so Beautiful.

I was watching a movie with Chris last Friday night, and he paused it so he could finish dinner. I picked up my phone and was alarmed by the onslaught of pictures of the Eiffel Tower and the hashtag, #prayforparis. Over the next few hours, I watched as a horrific, heartbreaking story developed.

My heart broke for the people whose lives were torn apart on a seemingly normal Friday night, and when I woke up the next morning, my heart broke for the baby I'm carrying inside of me. I sat on the couch watching the sun come up, and wondered why I thought that bringing a baby into this world--a world clearly so awful and evil--was okay.

It sounds dramatic, I know. But the thought of my baby having to grow up in a world where things like this honestly aren't shocking just really rocked me to my core. Because when he comes out in a few weeks, I won't be able to protect him from evil like this. I won't be able to shield him from the fact that there are awful people in the world, and that sometimes the world can be a terrible place.

But as I sat there, snuggling Gatsby and waiting on Chris to wake up so we could spend the day at Universal, I thought about how Jack being born into this world also meant that he would get to one day experience sunrises and lazy Saturdays.

He'll get to experience the wonder of waking up to presents left by Santa. He'll get to learn to read books. He'll get to play in the mud with his grandpa and read books with his grandma. He'll have my best friend as his cool uncle to bail him out of trouble every now and then. He'll get to go to school and make friends. He'll get to come home to parents who love him.

He'll get to experience the thrill of the first time he asks a girl on a date. He'll get to fall in love, and go on a journey to meeting someone he wants to spend his whole life with. He'll get to discover his passions.

He'll get to discover how good chocolate tastes. He'll make memories on his summer breaks from high school that he won't know are some of his most treasured possessions until years later. He'll get to feel the rush of going to his first party. He'll sit around bonfires on the beach, he'll go to concerts, he'll discover what his favorite beer is. He'll meet his favorite people, discover his tribe, and change the world.

And he'll get to do all of this because sometimes, the world is a beautiful place.

So yes, it breaks my heart to think that one day, he'll have to learn how real evil is in this world. But he'll also get to learn how beautiful the world can be. And I think that is the best thing I can ask for.